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10 Steps To Stay Stress Free After Lockdown

Going back to work after lockdown will have it’s challenges for sure. Because there’s a tendency in life to cling to the familiar, to feel safe and secure, change can feel threatening. Are there steps we can take  to feel more in control and stress free after lockdown?

Read on for some suggestions on how to make your re-integration as stress free and smooth as possible.

Indeed let’s also remember, that whilst the more extrovert among us may be excited at the prospect of returning to work and re-engaging with an audience, other’s may well
dread the return to work for that very reason! Just the act of interacting with gregarious

Outgoing Personality
Stress-free and ready to go!

colleagues can be draining, anxiety provoking and far from stress-free for those with more introvert tendencies.

Rather than worrying about what might happen,  aim instead, to discover how to ring fence yourself and reduce the risk to your mental health and emotional wellbeing.

Write a personal risk assessment and find stress-free solutions for your particular situation. Have a look at some of my suggestions below

You may wonder, can there be certainty in such uncertain times?

Perhaps a level of acceptance is a better state to aim for than a sense of certainty because we are in a state of flux and futures are uncertain for many of us.

Yet the fact remains, we want to feel in control and there is so much in life that we have no control over,  the sooner we accept this, become flexible and adapt, the less stressful life will be.

Taking Charge of life
Stress-free and back in control

How can we handle the stress of not having control? In this link I explain the Circle of Influence and Circle of Control a tool that facilitates the discovery of personal ways to feel empowered and stress-free.

In fact, something as simple as learning a gentle breathing technique can quell a rising panic allowing you to regain self-control in the middle of a meeting or on the train going to work.

 

Before returning to work make a list of some of the things you are in control of.

Below are some tips about how to stay stress free after lockdown.

1. Consistent Clear Communication

This might be expressing to your line manager/supervisor/boss that you’re struggling with an aspect of the return to work. If you find it difficult to verbalise, write a private and confidential email outlining your concerns.

Likewise where possible, suggest one or two solutions to the problem you’ve identified, such as split working from home/office. Changing hours or asking for clarity on the troubling issue.

This way you take both the problem and the solution to your boss, who may also be struggling with issues.

2. Listen to yourself first

Your body will give you very clear signals of discomfort and distress if you tune-in and listen.

Try this, a minimum of 5 minutes quiet time each day can be enough to pick up on a tightened chest, or a churning stomach. If your body is light and buoyant all is well. Feelings of heaviness, constriction are not good signs, what do you think that’s telling you?

Pay attention to these feelings and aim to explore and address the issue causing these problems, talk them through with a trusted friend, colleague or engage a therapist or coach.

We know that there is a global collective grieving at this time but what we don’t know is who is grieving, or what or whom has been lost. It could be a loved one, a job or an income. Never has there been more of a need for kindness, compassion and understanding.

 

3. Listen and be prepared for emotion

Besides listening,  know that we can’t fix other people’s stuff so don’t even try! What you can do is offer people time and space to listen, really listen and it’s one of the kindest gifts we can give another. Even identical twins suffering the same loss will experience their bereavement differently, so we should never presume to know what someone is feeling or when.

It’s much easier to ask them, “How are you?” and then listen, you may pick up the signal immediately that they do not want to talk about it or maybe if you stay quiet for just that tiny bit longer, they will share something with you.

Again, prepare yourself to be uncomfortably comfortable in the face of emotion. People who you least expect to be emotional may break down and cry in your presence. Be with them, hold the space for them and resist the temptation to hand them tissues, put an arm around them or placate them with platitudes.

Consequently they  are more likely to benefit and recover quickly if you don’t react in this way. That’s empathy and compassion and can help them enormously.

4. Find Your Balance

Aim for balance and work out how you can achieve that? What do you need to do to re-energise? Do you need to stop and give yourself a short break to move around for example? Are you the type of person who needs to eat a little and often to keep your energy high? Are you sipping any water regularly? Is your head feeling hot? Perhaps you need to take the EarPods out of your ears to give them a rest.

Make a list of resources you need to keep with you to help you to feel balanced and in control.

5. Ask yourself good quality questions

“What do I want. What do I need to feel more balanced now?” Listen to your response, that’s your prescription, your wisdom so why not take your own advice!

6. Work Smarter

Because many people will be returning to a backlog of work and since multi-tasking has been debunked,  avoid that! Instead aim to spend longer at the outset and create a clear plan of action.

Besides prioritising tasks with a simple A,B,C,D method  which will quickly provide order, you’ll also have a more realistic view of your workload.  This will give you greater sense of control. You will also be in a better position to manage your expectations and communicate your position to colleagues or staff.

7. Set Realistic Goals

In addition to creating  a schedule of work, aim to set small pragmatic goals. In your planning phase work out roughly how long each task will take, block that time out in your diary/calendar with the time span. This keeps goals realistic,  also schedule in short breaks, to stand up and stretch, have a comfort break or a drink.

As a result of  utilising steps 6 and 7 you offer yourself an opportunity to validate your efforts and recognise your achievements. In this way you’re not waiting around for someone else to pat you on the back. Say ‘Well done”  and reward your good behaviour with a treat. A luxurious bath, a walk with a friend or carving out some time to read a book.

8. It’s OK to say No

Furthermore practice saying a good, clear No try saying it  out loud now! You can be pleasant but firm when you say No. “No, I already have more than I can realistically handle” No I simply do not have the available time. No, it’s not my responsibility, I cannot take that on” Get used to that word in your mouth and throat.

In fact I often have clients’ practice saying No in front of a mirror in as many different tones and volumes as possible. Add to this good body language, such as a firm hand extended away from your chest with a big “No” should you need to communicate your position more clearly, will speak volumes.

9. Connect At Your Own Pace

You’re either itching to get back out with friends and family or feel the need to connect slowly.

First it’s your business is to know what you want and need. Secondly negotiate with yourself to establish what feels right and manageable for you. Thirdly practice out loud explaining to your friends and family how you need to proceed and see how you can arrive at a workable compromise between their expectations and yours.

10. Recognition And Validation

Finally, Be Your Own Cheerleader. Just be kind and loving to yourself. You will get the best from yourself by being supportive and gently encouraging. Watch out for the inner critic, sack your ‘Judge’ and pump up the volume on your balanced assertive adult self!

There is no ‘right’ way to do this only the way that is right for you, so aim to honour and respect your needs and keep your communication honest clear and consistent.

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The Stresshacker Podcast Episode 3: Eight moments of mindfulness – guided meditation

Many of you are telling me how stressed you’re feeling and whether that’s due to a heavy work load, the demands of family, illness, life events or just those winter blues, only you can change the way that you feel.
That said I would like to help and want to give you this gift. It’s only eight minutes out of your life and it’s a gift that will keep on giving… if you listen to it regularly!
Episode three of the Stresshacker podcast is an eight-minute recharge for anyone feeling run down, in need of energy – or just need a moment for yourself!
You probably know by now that the nature of the mind is that it likes to be on the move. As such your thoughts will drag you back into the past and you can end up feeling stuck.
Conversely your thoughts can propel you into the future at an alarming rate and then you end up feeling pressured and anxious.

Use this guided meditation to gently pull you back into the present.

Find a time when you won’t be disturbed and settle into a comfortable position. Bedtime is an ideal time. For best results use earphones and lie down. You can sit in a comfy chair, but make sure your head is supported.

I want to stress that your mind WILL wander and that’s absolutely OK! It’s part of the hypnotic process. You do not have to be listening intently. In fact, if you drift off into what feels like a deep sleep that’s also good: it’s just your own way of relaxing!

DON’T listen to this whilst driving or operating any machinery, that would be highly dangerous!

NB. This program is NOT suitable for you if you have ever been diagnosed with depression or any other mental illness. This program is not suitable if you have suffered long-term neglect or abuse and have never worked with a therapist before.

For more tips and advice, please subscribe to my Stresshacker Podcast! 


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Episode page:  (let me know if this isn’t available on your favourite podcast app)

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The Stresshacker Podcast 2: Teaching your body to relax

I’ve been helping people with stress, anxiety and wellbeing since 1989, training with  some of the world’s greatest teachers in the field of modern psychology and communication skills, including David Grove, Richard Bandler, Paul McKenna and John Grinder.

But before that, I was majorly stressed out!

 In fact, I was hospitalised TWICE for a collapsed lung triggered  by stress!

It is my firm belief that the body expresses what the mind is concerned with. And boy had I been stressed – mentally and physically. I had been working too hard, partying too much and worrying about everything and nothing. I had ignored the nagging pains in my chest for too long. A collapsed lung was how my body finally chose to express what was going on in my mind and emotions.

For this reason, in episode two of my new Stresshacker podcast, I share one of the first techniques I discovered and used frequently to help me combat the stress. I would like to share  it with you.

Trust me, anyone and everyone can learn how to relax. But sometimes we need to teach our body first.

The more you listen to this, the easier it will be to relax.

After you have followed the routine for several weeks, you may find that you can reduce the number of phrase repetitions because your body will be reprogramming itself, and responding more readily to the suggestions.

Try these techniques for at least twenty one days to embed the suggestions so they become second nature.


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Episode page:  (let me know if this isn’t available on your favourite podcast app)

PS. If you’d like to record your own personalised version of this, the script is available to download here.

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Introducing The Stresshacker Podcast! Episode 1: One of my favourite meditations

Finally! I have a podcast! It’s called “The Stresshacker with Sue Smith” and I am really excited to share it with you!

I have wanted to do a podcast for a long time – especially since I’m more comfortable with audio than video. But the question has been: what should I do it about?

Then I decided to stop over-thinking it and just LAUNCH something. So please join me as I delve into the podcasting world and forgive me if I’m learning as I go! Hopefully we’ll both enjoy the ride.

To start with I’m sharing one of my very favourite meditations and, as the podcasts progress, I’d love to share more personal stories, advice, tips and thoughts – as well as collaborate with some of my fellow wellbeing coaches.

If you have anything you’d like to hear me talk about – or if you’d like to ask me a question – please get in touch! 

Episode One of The Stresshacker Podcast “One of My Favourite Meditations”

This is great if you need a nap or a refreshing 5-minute meditation session. It’s also perfect for refreshing yourself before heading out, taking a relaxing moment, focusing the mind, drifting off to sleep, meditating, unwinding and de-stressing or preparing for something. Use it if you’re trying to make some decisions or if you need a moment of respite before embarking on a creative project.

Please do subscribe to The Stresshacker and share with friends – I need your help in spreading the word!

Oh, and I’m now sharing more over on LinkedIn. If you’re on there, please add me as a connection or follow me (whichever you feel most comfortable with!)

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Episode URL  (let me know if this isn’t available on your favourite podcast app)

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Ways to Travel Stress and Anxiety Free

Health & Wellbeing

My top travel tips to stay stress and anxiety free when travelling.

It has literally changed my life. This is what happened…

I seemed to get a cold every time I went on holiday! This had been the pattern for over ten years. It  spoilt my trips and left me feeling miserable. I wanted to travel anxiety free.

Whilst swimming  in Thailand a couple of years ago and having a chat with myself, the way you do.  I was bemoaning the fact that I had yet another cold.  I’m healthy (other than a mild lung infection) and found it puzzling.

“Not Another cold! Why?”I said.

I heard a voice inside  reply ” It isn’t a cold.  Your airways  are inflamed from the air-con on the plane”  Nothing more, just that!  It was a real eureka moment as I recognised this truth.

I totally empowered myself with the following tips…

NLP:

First I future-paced my self with an NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) suggestion. “By the time I get out of the sea all inflammation has left my lungs.”

I swam a bit longer then got out.  It was about an hour later that I realised that the ‘cold’ had gone, completely!  I’d had it for five days yet  it had totally disappeared! Not one more sniffle for the entire holiday.

Masks:

Secondly I went to a supermarket and bought some masks. Next I bought a lightweight scarf to wrap over my mouth and nose.

Health & Wellbeing
Fewer colds and infections now.

Most importantly  I wear it for the entire flight whenever I travel now. Only removing it to eat or drink. I’m effectively recycling my own warm breath and this appears to have worked.

I had started to feel wary and anxious about holidays because of the cold scenario.

But now I can relax in the confident knowledge that I’ll be okay.

I’ve had three long haul and eight European flights since then and not one cold or sniffle!

I tell my fellow passenger that I have nothing contagious just a mild lung condition that is irritated by air-con. I’ve only had one person move and that gave me more room – result!

In conclusion this totally works for me and could help you too. If you have experienced similar problems or have asthma this could be the perfect solution.

Wear a snood, scarf or gloves:

I’m now trend-setting with an array of snoods!

Especially on cold damp days or on public transport. I stay healthy and therefore anxiety free in the knowledge that I have fewer colds and infections.

Setting a trend
Setting a trend

Oh and another tip – wear gloves where possible in public places. It can cut down on germs.

Remember that  Stress Free With Confidence is a reassuring programme to listen to if you have any fears around travel. Grab your  CD or download at the shop here at www.thestresshacker.com

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6 Survival Tips For A Stress Free Christmas

How to cope with Christmas

Surviving Christmas Stress:

I love that quote …“Think you’re enlightened? Spend a week with your family!”

For many, family is the messiest part of life. People just won’t do what we want them to do will theyHow to cope with Christmas!

Christmas holidays often mean spending prolonged periods of time with people who can push your emotional buttons, so what’s your plan to survive Christmas and the strong opinions or personalities that can arise at this time?  Check out my tips below.

1. Meditation

The Christmas holidays are a perfect time to develop a regular mediation habit. Start with  5 minutes, building to 7 and then 10 minutes a day by week two.  Along with enormous health benefits, at this time of year meditation can offer you the perfect excuse to get away and give yourself some much needed time and space. Check out my other blogs or click here for simple meditation techniques.

2. Breathe To Alleviate Boredom

I remember someone telling me of their dread of the office party and the boring conversations they had to endure each year. If you get stuck with the office bore try practising a simple breathing technique whilst they’re talking to you. Keep looking at the person and subtly bring your awareness to your nostrils, silently count One on your next inbreath, two before you breathe out, three as you exhale and four before you breathe in again. When you’ve counted 5 ‘whole’ breaths in this way make your excuses ” well, it’s been great catching up and I want to talk to …. now, enjoy the rest of the party” and run!

3. Develop compassion.

If step 2 seems a bit harsh, maybe you can develop the art of active listening? You’re with the office bore again (except you no longer refer to them in such a way) imagine you can drop down into a very peaceful space within and begin listening with an open heart, i.e. with absolutely no expectations, no desire to escape and without a need to fix them, question them or judge anything they say. Good luck with that!

4. Boundaries. Where are yours?

What is your tolerance level for a particular person? So for example you don’t get along with your sister can you sit open-heartedly listening to her for 5 minutes or 10? What and where is your limit? It’s important to know yourself in this respect. Think about these interactions ahead of time.  Once you’ve reached your tolerance level with that particular person have  an “I need to get up and get some water” statement handy, so that you can change your position and your state. Plan ahead, is it possible to arrange to sit next to someone you do enjoy talking to?

5. Booze. Is it time to monitor your intake?

At what point might you say something you could regret? If two drinks leave you merry and sweet but four make you a bit mouthy…  perhaps you need a plan. Think ahead. How do you want to feel when you wake up after you’ve been out partying? When you look back over the previous evening’s events do you want to be happy with your ruminations or will you be cringing because of something you said or did?  Will that extra drink make the difference?  Plan ahead and decide when enough is enough. Before you go out think about an alternative to alcohol get a really clear picture of it in your mind, for example imagine a nice glass of sparkling tonic water with a shot of lime cordial and a twist of lemon, or a pot of freshly brewed coffee.

6. Kindness

Christmas is an especially good time to be thoughtful, kind and generous to others but I hear so often of people (usually women) who have run themselves ragged trying to make the perfect Christmas for others only to end up ‘coming down with something’. So be kind to yourself first, it’s then easier to give authentically to others.  Make time for you and as you give yourself a bit of space  ask yourself “what do I want, what do I need.” When your cup is full there’s a tendency to only want for the good of others and if you’re okay,  you’re in a better position to take care of others.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blogs, visit the site and purchase products I really value your feedback.

Wishing my family, friends, clients, yoga students and readers a great Christmas and all you would wish for yourself throughout 2019.

Remember if you know of anyone who might benefit, my shop is stocked full of hypnosis programs designed to boost confidencecounter stress, deal with anxiety, sleep problems and other issues. Psst! Pass it on please…

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STRESS! 50 Signs and Symptoms and a free gift

Help identify and deal with stress

Reactions to stress are stored in the mind and body, they shape our perceptions and view of the world.

STRESS! 50 Signs and Symptoms and a free gift
Stressed and tense

Constant repetition of the fight, flight and collapse response takes its toll on the immune system and leaves us susceptible to illness, disease.  Similarly mental responses to stress include anxiety, depression, sleep disturbance and phobias.

Therefore self-care on more than just one level is vital to our health.

More importantly, finding ways of controlling our reactions to stress mentally and physically, rather than allowing it to control us, is essential to being a well being.

I should know I’ve been a stress management expert for many years and my clients know that even one small change makes a huge difference to the quality of life and can help you cope better.

50 Signs of Stress:

…And also the solutions to combat stress and free gifts to help you deal with it.

Psychological signs:

Feeling angry

Anxious, apprehensive, frightened, fearful

Excessive feelings of shame or embarrassment

Constant Cynicism

Depressed or generally low

Guilty

Helpless, out of control

Experiencing intrusive thoughts or images

Day-dreaming more

Experiencing loss of confidence

Mood swings

Nightmares

Obsessive thoughts

Reduced self-esteem

Suicidal thoughts

Thinking the future is bleak

Unable to concentrate

Worrying more

Physical signs:

Breathlessness

Backaches

Constipation or diarrhoea

Change to menstrual cycle

Frequent colds or other infections

Feeling faint or fainting

Headaches or migraines

Indigestion

Muscle twitches

Palpitations

Rapid weight change

Skin complaints

Sweating or clammy hands

Tightness or pain in chest

Thrush or cystitis

Vague aches or pains

Increased tiredness or fatigue

Behavioural signs:

Accident-proneness

Aggressive or passive behaviour

Clenched fists or jaws

Comfort eating or loss of appetite

Compulsive or impulsive behaviour

‘Checking’ rituals

Disturbed sleep patterns

Eating/talking/walking quickly

Increased alcohol or caffeine consumption

Irritability

Poor time management

Reduced work performance

Smoking more

Withdrawal from supportive relationships

Too busy to relax

Stress management is something that has to be built into and made part of each day.

STRESS! 50 Signs and Symptoms and a free gift
breathing

Furthermore, repetition is the mother of all skill and stress management requires practise.

You wouldn’t expect to go to the gym now and then to have a strong, toned body and it’s the same with maintaining a calm, relaxed state in the face of stressful events and  triggers.

Firstly you have to know the difference between stressed and calm. Practise a Progressive Relaxation. Do it Now!

Simply tense every muscle starting with your face, screw your eyes up, your mouth, neck, shoulders arms etc right the way throughout your entire body, tensing until it’s almost unbearable then slowly release and enjoy the feeling of gentle relaxation spreading through your body.

Secondly repeat this as often as possible so that you train and engrain the right responses to stress.

Finally, stop the stress reaction more quickly by recognising tension and stress as it’s creeping in. Consciously pay attention to that knot in your shoulder or tightness in your neck,  use it as a trigger to start the relaxation response.

Because stress increases when we forget to breathe properly humming and whistling will help you to breathe better. A whistle or hum is effectively an exhalation.

Try it now, you’ll notice that you take a bigger, slightly longer inhalation after you’ve whistled or hummed.  Increased breath means more energy and a calmer state and better equanimity of mind.

Most importantly  reprogram your mind to combat stress while you sleep. The Stress Free With Relaxation program allows your subconscious mind to absorb positive suggestions and counter daytime stress triggers.

Maximum effort required, put in earbuds as you drop off to sleep. Return On Investment = Feeling rested and refreshed with a positive state of mind and  wellbeing. Effortless!

Finally, get your free gifts in the shop at thestresshacker.com

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Anger Management

Ever wondered why you’re so quick to anger?

Losing it‘ signifies much deeper underlying issues such as loss and grief.   Anger forms part of the bereavement cycle?Anger Management The Stresshacker Sue Smith

When I discuss this with clients I’m often told “But I haven’t had a bereavement. I just flare up for no reason.”  Yet they’ll go on to identify loss. Loss of their dreams, a relationship or a part of themselves in childhood.

The emotion of anger usually covers fear and the bottom line is that fear centres around feeling unloved or unloveable.

Many a child has felt humiliation and shame at being shouted at and rejected by an angry parent however temporary.

Whilst parents are not saints and don’t come equipped with the perfect parent handbook it’s safe to say that most parents intend to do their best.

Women appear to adjust to parenthood more quickly as they navigate bodily changes and fluctuation in emotions during pregnancy.  Whereas men’s bonding often starts when the child is  older.

Both will grieve the loss of their previous lifestyle – their job, friends and colleagues. It’s natural to feel anger in these circumstance.

In Psychotherapy, Transactional Analysis is a model that  suggests that we have 3 main parts in our psyche.  The Parent, Adult and Child.

Your guide book for how to be a parent is a direct result of how you were treated by your parents. What they said and did becomes your inner map, voice and reactions.

You may blindly follow your guide book or totally reject it by doing  the opposite.  More commonly people cobble together bits of both in an effort to ‘get it right‘.

All that’s needed is a trigger. You’ve asked your child patiently for the fifth time to pick up their towel from the bathroom floor, the anger explodes and you’re shouting and screaming at them.

You don’t have to be an actual parent to follow your map either. When you get angry with yourself and judge yourself harshly? That inner critic is your parent part.

How does a child feel, who’s been bullied?  Worthless and unloveable.  Your inner child feels exactly the same after an internal battering.

How To Manage That Anger

The key is to develop a healthier adult part.

Risk being vulnerable and explore your losses. Make time and space to have more authentic honest conversations with trusted friends, partners and therapists.

It is possible to diminish anger and bear the losses. It is possible to feel in control and to like how you talk to yourself and others.

Here’s a few starting points that will help.

Develop the tools of mindfulness. Use your breath to ground you in the present and to stop you reacting like a victimised child or a volatile parent.

Work on rebuilding your self esteem so that you are more able to tolerate the emotions.

Do you want a shortcut to that? Update the software of your mind and listen to Stress Free With  Confidence, or Assertiveness Now rapidly reprogram your subconscious mind to build a stronger autonomous adult part.

Let me know your thoughts.

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Down With Depression

Down With Depression
Depression Sucks

When depression descends it‘s not easy to shake yourself out of it and for some just not possible at all, so if that’s you, you might want to stop reading now.

Many people who experience depression say that as part of it, they feel helpless and hopeless and it’s understandable as it can leave you feeling stuck and impotent. Anyone can be hit by depression at any time in life and it’s important  not to judge.

It’s also important to know that it’s not your fault and doubtless you have done and are doing the best you can. It can be very irritating if not downright annoying to have people tell you to snap out of it and I wonder if one of the reasons is that for some, depression is an inward expression of anger. To have well meaning people lay unhelpful platitudes on you, can triggers more frustration and can make the depression even more intense.

My personal experience of depression and that of working with others is that it invariably strikes people who are highly thoughtful, sensitive and usually kind and caring. They ‘feel’ deeply and can struggle with boundaries, because they are used to picking up on the emotions of other’s but aren’t used to protecting themselves from it. Like a sponge they unconsciously mop up negative energy from those around them.

Developing a supportive inner voice can help. Over time I learned to tell myself that ‘this will pass’  and for me it did and thankfully  I did not remain in a permanent state of depression.  Knowing that it would pass I was able to use this knowledge to help myself. I would sit in the same place each time – in my case my wicker meditation chair and remind myself that nothing stays the same and that it would pass. When you’re in the midst of it however you can be forgiven for thinking it wont!

Funny thing is, even some of my closest friends may be surprised to discover that I’ve wrestled with depression and the reason for this is that I’m not a lover of labels, so I’ve chosen to not say that I have had depression. My concern was that it would become ‘my’ depression and I certainly never wanted it to be mine!

Here are a couple of things that have helped me in the past and others I’ve worked with.

Down With Depression
Call a friend

Sit with a trusted friend or therapist and investigate the last 3 or 4 episodes of depression with a view to identifying what the triggers were. Aim to recall what happened the day or the night before. What did you eat or do, what time did you go to bed, what were you watching, who did you see, what activity were you participating in before the depression started? Aim to unearth the patterns that lead to the depression and make them more conscious.

When we throw light on something that has previously been unconscious i.e. in the dark, it usually has the effect of de-potenising it, taking away some of it’s power.

Don’t do this on your own, because you obviously don’t want to trigger an episode.

Once armed with a knowledge of the patterns or people that seem to trigger the depression  you can start looking at things to put in place to avoid those triggers. For example if you realize that depression can start when you lay in bed thinking about things for too long, or listening to the news, train yourself to get up within 5 minutes of waking up, or make the decision to turn off the news and choose something more positive to listen to.

You can use stick thinking i.e. “If I lay here any longer I know I’ll end up with that sinking feeling in my stomach that leads to me feeling really stuck and miserable” or carrot thinking… “If I get up now I can get on with… or meet up with so-and-so to walk her dog, or to just make a nice cup of coffee and listen to the birds singing”

Commit to becoming vigilant and aim to catch the depression as it starts, imagine you’re a spy and your brief is to watch and wait to ‘catch’ it before it takes hold so that you can interrupt the pattern it takes.

Make a decision to do something different until you notice a change no matter how subtle. Even a tiny shift can make a huge change to the way you feel.

That shift might be an arrangement that you strike up with a trusted friend to call them the minute you feel the depression starting so that they can come over to support and motivate you to do something different. This is of course by prior agreement.

Whilst we know that exercise is a great way to combat depression, it isn’t always easy or possible for everyone to join a gym however one simple step that you could take is this.

Stand with your feet hip width apart and raise your arms up slowly up into the air as you breathe in. Then slowly breathe out through your mouth like you’re blowing air out with a long sigh as you bring your arms back down. Do this at least 10 times – longer if possible. Do it several times a day on a bad day.

You are lifting your heart and lungs with this simple movement, engaging your cardio-vascular and respiratory systems which change your breath, your mental state and of course your physiology. This can be done sitting down too.

Depression isn’t just a state of mind; it can also be a feeling that emerges somewhere in the body or just outside of it.

Depression has been described by some as a heavy weight, a black hole or a dark cloud hovering over them.  Others say it starts as a sinking feeling in their stomach and some say that it’s like having someone or something sitting on them. No wonder then, that people can feel stuck or disempowered.

It can be helpful to externalize the feelings and one way to do this is by drawing or painting your feelings on paper. No rules, you don’t have to have any artistic skills, nobody else will see this – unless you choose to share it.

When you’ve finished drawing,  bin it, burn it or bury it but get rid of it. By doing so you’re making  a powerful symbolic statement – to your unconscious mind-  that you’re taking action to erase it.

Another powerful thing to do is to write, by hand, letters to people who you feel have a part in your depression whether past, present, dead or alive.  I’ve worked with many people with depression who have been bullied in the past and when they’ve done what I suggest here they have been amazed at the results. You really will feel lighter when you do this.

Write to the bullies, tell them exactly what you think of them.  Let the people who have played a part in the way that you feel, know your truth, tell them exactly how you feel. When you’ve finished the letter  bin it, burn it, or bury it but definitely get rid of it permanently, this is the most important step.   I do not advocate sending the letters – this is for you, it’s your therapy.

Your unconscious mind believes whatever is put into it, so it will believe that  you’ve sent the letters, even though you know at a conscious level you haven’t.

This might sound ridiculously simple but it really can take care of unfinished business in the back of the mind. Don’t take my word for it try it yourself to find out that this powerful exercise really does work!

Anything that you can do to empower yourself will be helpful

So the next time you’re feeling brighter write a list of the things that lift you and allow you to feel glad to be in the world. Put that list on the inside of a cupboard or on a mirror where you can see it to remind yourself to take tiny steps toward a better day.

Although I would never say  I’ll never be depressed again, I do feel fortunate to be free of depression these days. I have used all the tools and tips I write about and whilst I appreciate that they may not be for everyone, I sincerely hope they help someone.

Also please look at our products and courses in The Stresshacker store to help assist you with your journey.

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A DAY OF WELLBEING

Want to know what I’ve been up to this week?

On Thursday I woke up with a violent migraine, an aching body and not much in the mood to drive for an hour to the spectacular gardens of RHS Wisley.

Efforts had to be made as it was my partner’s Birthday so I lay in bed and listened to my own Healing Now download which triggered the energy needed to make breakfast and drive us via the M25 into Surrey… it was my treat.

I couldn’t have made a better choice! The beauty and elegance of the gardens at Wisely is staggering and within ten minutes of going through the entrance I experienced a tremendous sense of peace and wellbeing.

A one point I sat for ten minutes of eyes open mediation … bliss!

You really can’t beat nature when you need a little soothing and healing. Being surrounded by the full spectrum of vibrant colours, with the sound of gentle water running from miniature waterfalls accompanied by birds singing, was only surpassed by the subtle waft in the air of perfume from the flowers.

It was heart warming to see so many people volunteering their time to create a place of such beauty. It has a really strong sense of community there. I overheard a couple talking, they were financial contributors and had a sense of ownership and pride about the place.

We watched people enjoying picnics, drinking coffee and eating ice cream in the cafe’s.

We smiled a lot! It’s a place that melts tension and brings peace.

A limb of yoga known as Ayurveda suggests that most people benefit from being surrounded by nature.
Why not make a weekly date to bathe in nature, whatever the weather, you can wrap up warm or peel off layers as you go out to your local nature reserve, woodland or coastline and spend some quality time soaking up the blues and greens of the earth.

I wanted to share a little of my day with you so take a moment to watch the clip and allow your eyelids to be heavy as you watch the screen and breath in for three and out slowly for five. You can watch and replay this as often as you like for a de-stress and mini energy boost. Enjoy!

Sue