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My Top 10 Autumn Tips

Whilst we’ve been fortunate enough to enjoy the warmer weather, don’t be fooled by it, as late summer yields fully into Autumn the way we take care of ourselves now,  will dictate whether we have a cosy winter or one fully of colds and allergies.

As the leaves become crispy, dry out and fall to the ground, so will we unless we take sensible, self-care steps. Have a browse through my self-help tips to nurture yourself through to Winter and let me know how you get on.

My Top 10 Autumn Tips

My Top 10 Autumn Tips:

  1. Whilst we cling to the last of the late summer sunshine, remember that the air can be cold and drying, consider adding foods to your diet that are the opposite of cold, drying and still. Think of foods that are warm, stimulating and pungent such as garlic, onions, chives, black pepper, ginger, cayenne pepper, horseradish and mustards.
  2. Start the day with warm teas, slice some fresh ginger bring to the boil and cool to drink.Finish the day with a cosy cup of warm milk with a pinch of black pepper, a 1/4 teaspoon of turmeric and a little honey. It will give you a great night’s sleep.
  3. Although it’s a great time for clearing out your clutter  e.g. look at the sell by dates in your kitchen cupboards and take your unwanted items to the local donation hub or charity shop, it’s a bad time to set yourself up with big goals or deadlines.

    Autumn is a time of death, a letting go of things that no longer serve us.

  4. Instead, take the pressure off and slip slowly into the winter months by considering the equal and opposite; for example Autumn is chilly, blustery, with wind whipping up the leaves in swirls,  do the opposite, take  time to be still, create small spaces of quiet time to read and relax. It’s a great time to reintroduce  the practice of meditation. Take time to bathe in nature, wrap up warm and sit in your local park or take a slow quiet meditative walk.
  5. Emotionally this is again a good time for letting go of resentments and grudges. Remember though, that forgiving those who have hurt you, doesn’t necessarily mean that you allow them  back into your life. It does mean however that you can practice letting go by writing a therapy letters, journalling and even saying out loud “ I forgive you so-and-so  for… blah  blah …”   It really works, but don’t take my word for it, try it yourself!
  6. As well as being a good time of year for clearing out, it’s also a great time for creating clear boundaries. Are there people who don’t respect your boundaries? Take some time to consider how you will establish the boundaries, think about what you might need to do or say in this respect, so that you’re clear on how to move forward.
  7. As natural as it is for the leaves fall from the branches at this time of year, it’s all a good time to let the tears fall, go on, give yourself permission to let it go. You’ll likely find when you create time and the right environment, emotions will surface, especially sadness. Allow them space as this is the perfect time to release and clear space.
  8. As a yoga teacher I encourage the clearing of energy blocks in the body. As we practice bending, stretching, twisting, using breath and visualisation to release tension,  it brings a sense of freedom and space.  In this way we don’t somatise our ‘stuff’ or push our emotions even deeper into the body’s systems and organs. So don’t be rigid, bend and stretch daily. It’s one of the reasons that students feel so good after a yoga class.
  9. Now is the time to use more oils and balms to massage into dry skin. Try warmed sesame oil  rubbed into your feet or Vick rubbed into the soles of the feet, pop a pair of socks on and sleep like a baby!
  10. I’m going to share a secret, the best oils and balms come from Urbanveda and they have given a generous discount especially for  thestresshacker readers! So grab your discount on their fabulous products here thestresshacker20 . Also when you place an order they plant a tree!

Try This Autumn Meditation

Sit in an upright chair, close your eyes and allow your awareness to move down to your chest   ……. allow yourself a little time to tune into the quiet rhythm of your breathing ……..  then allow the breath to drop a little deeper down into your abdomen …….  and simply enjoy the deep sense of calm and relaxation that diaphragmatic abdominal breathing brings.

Rest here a while as you observe the miracle of life force and energy moving in and out of your body without you having to do anything at all.

Just Be.

Enjoy!

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Six Simple Steps To Self-Care

These tips for self-care will help towards achieving positive health and wellbeing. You’ve heard the expression ‘Charity begins at home,’  so does self-care. Let’s be honest if you can’t look after yourself and take an interest in your wellbeing, why should anyone else?

Successful people use simple mind hacks to boost their self-confidence while they sleep and feed their minds with personal development programmes and podcasts by day.

With the NHS creaking under pressure and GP appointments hard to come by, preventative steps to ensure our positive mental health and wellbeing  are more important than ever.

Tips for Self-Care

One Eastern approach to wellbeing is called Ayurveda, roughly translated as The Science of Life. I’ve loosely studied Ayurveda since 1984 by reading and attending courses but I feel as if I’ve just scratched the surface! It’s  a vast subject and one of the main things is to understand your constitution, also known as your doshic make-up.

A quiz can help you do this and it’s one of my favourite tips for taking better care of yourself so read on…

  1. Know yourself. Take the Dosha quiz here: Dosha Quiz
  2. As we move out of late summer, rethink your diet,  you’ll need to eat differently as the Autumn winds and damp weather take hold.  See my delicious recipe below.
  3. Keep negative thoughts at bay, use this  vibration meditation. Close your eyes, inhale slowly and on the exhale make the sound Mmmmmm. Feel the vibration on your lips and imagine it resounding around the inside of your brain. Do this for 3 minutes minimum. For a greater sense of calm try 7 or 21 minutes. It’s excellent if you suffer from insomnia,  obsessive thoughts and anxiety.
  4. Are you one of those people who feel irritated easily? Start the day with fresh lemon and warm water it’s cleansing for the liver and surprisingly, can calm your disposition.  If your digestion is feeling sluggish peel and slice fresh ginger, boil it and cool before drinking first thing in the morning. It feels very warming to the gut.
  5. If you have trouble sleeping, massage your hands and feet with warm sesame oil and go to bed wearing socks and light cotton gloves. Write down anything that could keep you awake . Make a list of all the things you have to do tomorrow, then forget about them until the morning. When there are things you need to get off of your chest, journal until you’re bored!
  6. Aim to bathe in nature at least once a week and preferably more often . Go for a walk in a park, woodland or  visit the seaside, blue and green are soothing for the soul.

Would you like to try a regular weekly online meditation class? 

I run a session at 8.30pm – 9.30pm on Wednesday evenings email me at sue@thestresshacker.com and I’ll send you details. Read some of the testimonies to hear what other’s say about it.

Recipe for Kitchari

Make the recipe below for yourself and see how nurturing it is. Let me know how you get on I love to hear your feedback.

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup basmati rice 1 cup mung dal (split yellow) I also use red lentils as I find them much easier to digest and quicker to cook.
  • Approximately 6 cups of water
    Roughly 1 inch of fresh ginger, chopped or grated – it really is easier to peel with a teaspoon!
  • ¼ teaspoon of rock salt
  • 1 tablespoon of ghee
    1/2 tsp. coriander powder
    1/2 tsp. cumin powder
    1/2 tsp. whole cumin seeds
    1/2 tsp. mustard seeds
    1/2 tsp. turmeric powder
    1 pinch asafoetida (hing)
  • It’s a bit of a faff measuring this out every time you make it,  I make it up in bulk and keep it in a jar and I tend to pulp it into a powder in a pestle and mortar (except the ginger and fresh coriander.)
  • A handful of freshly chopped coriander
  • A handful of  assorted vegetables ( these are optional)
  • Preparation – takes no time.

Cooking Instructions:

  1. Thoroughly wash your lentils in a sieve, make sure the water runs clear through them and leave to one side.
  2. Place a heavy bottomed saucepan on a high heat, when it’s hot, turn it down add the ghee, let it melt and throw your spices in (but NOT the fresh coriander) stir them into the ghee until the seeds pop (If you haven’t pulped them) Do NOT let it burn.
  3. Next add the washed lentils and coat them in the spicy ghee mixture, then cover until they become soft. (Check from time to time that it’s not burning and add a little more water if necessary.If you want more of a soup, add more water and don’t add rice. If you want a more substantial meal, add less water and add your vegetables for about 10 mins or less if you like them al dente.

    Note:
      If you’re adding some vegetables, wash and chop them into small chunks, you could use broccoli, courgettes, carrots, sweet potato, or some spinach or cabbage.
  4. Finally throw in a packet of 2 minute basmati rice (or a cupful that you might have already cooked) and stir in for 4 or 5 minutes.

In my opinion good cooking comes from tasting as you go along, after all you’ll be eating it so you’re the judge of it! If you’re feeling low or unwell, this is considered a ‘healing meal’ and is the perfect remedy for any body type or age group.  Enjoy!

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‘Open Heart Therapy Workshop’ Personal Development

Open Your Heart Therapy

In 2004 I ran my first personal development ‘Open Heart Therapy’ workshop and whilst successful, I sensed it was ahead of it’s time.Open Your Heart

So many people are saying it’s the right time for personal development and the success of last weeks Open Heart Therapy workshop proved it for me.   

But what does Open Your Heart even mean? As a therapist of 30 years I know too well how people shut down when they’re hurt. Whilst that’s no revelation, it is interesting to recognise that it’s the people closest to us who are capable of hurting us the most. 

It’s the friends, family, lovers and partners who we allow to get close, those who we open our hearts to  that we can feel most wounded by.

When we are honest and open-hearted  we can be vulnerable. If  betrayed and hurt in that space then naturally we lose faith and can be loathe to experience that again.

If you burn your hand when you put it into a fire, ouch! It hurts. You’d be crazy to do it again. The same kind of things happen when we’re hurt emotionally.

Fundamentally the heart is a pumping muscle  which can tighten and contract  like any other muscle in the body. With sufficient reason(s) to become restricted, it can metaphorically,  close down and because it’s a muscle it can’t  judge and can shut out people who haven’t hurt you.  

The consequences of emotional numbing in the heart  can have  the knock-on effect of deadening  passion in other areas  of life, we can feel drained have that “whats the point, who cares” type of thinking .

In addition, being emotionally blocked can also inhibit our ability to speak our truth openly and assertively.

This is because the energy centres above and below the heart are adversely affected.   We can feel weakened energetically, loose will-power and find it hard to fight addictions or stick to a healthy lifestyle. 

These are good enough reasons for personal development and attempts to heal the heart.

The thing is muscles need stretching and exercising and this is what my Open Heart Therapy workshop offers it aims to help you to move forward and heal the past if you’re ready. Are you ready for some personal development?

Testimonies:

“It totally met my objectives, mentally and physically.”
DB 12/02/2021
“It also made me very aware of the impact of parents’ behaviours on their children…Yes, would definitely recommend…”
NS 14/02/2021
“I’d like to say it was very good the workshop today, very beneficial and very well put together…I have already recommended it to other people!”
MF 12/02/2021
“It went really quickly – I would like to do it all over again!”
SB 15/02/2021

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Open It Now! It’s For You

How are you? It certainly feels like we’re being tested on so many levels in these changeable times.

I’m sure you know that among other things,  stress is a feeling of not being in control which can trigger all kinds of emotional, psychological and behavioural problems.

But how to deal with it? One of the main keys to dealing with stress is to develop flexibility so that we improve our bounce-ability factor and become resilient.

Dare I say the most flexible tree is the bamboo because of it’s ability to bend easily in the wind and then stand tall again.

How can we become more flexibile? Well I could say take up yoga, develop new hobbies, improve your way of thinking by listening to hypnotherapy programmes. But better still, find your own ways. 

Write down 10 things you could do to become more flexible mentally and physically.

Along with sending you my good wishes for the holiday period I want to offer a couple of approaches to help manage stress, anxiety and any other difficult feelings.

A Christmas Gift For You
 
Please do the exercise, as it’s experiential, it will only that will take about 7 minutes of your life and it may prove valuable. Try it now.

1. Sit somewhere away from distractions and close your eyes.
2. Repeat the following words to yourself silently and mentally.
“Be” “Just Be” repeat this periodically until you find your breathing slowing and a sense of quietness beginning to emerge.

You might find the next bit challenging and counter intuitive on one level but just go with it.

3. Invite the negative thought/feeling/emotion into the quieter space by simply saying “I welcome…       (anxiety, frustration, sadness, headache, stomach churning or whatever.)

4. Imagine them as an unexpected, slightly unwanted guest who’s arrived at your door but your good  manners dictate that you’re going to invite them in anyway!

5. When you’ve repeated ” I welcome” let’s say anxiety in, notice where it lives. Do you feel it in your chest? Or stomach for example.

Don’t get lost in the thought or feeling and don’t get too involved, stay mildly detached, you’re merely observing it.

6. After a few minutes of this, welcome in the opposite feeling/emotion/thought. So you might then say silently “I welcome peace and calmness” again repeating it several times.

Notice what peace and calmness feel like and where these feelings sit in your body.

Another odd thing to suggest but do it anyway…

7. Begin to move back and forth between the words  “I welcome anxiety and tension” then “I welcome peace, calmness and tranquility”

8. Finally after doing that for a couple of minutes, imagine you can step back away from the opposites and repeat silently “Be” “Just Be”

Let me know how that works for you.

The second gift I would like to offer is a free mind/body training that will lead to a more relaxed in control you.Download it and practise it until you’re able to do it anywhere anytime on your own. It’s my gift to you along with my fervent wishes that you be well and happy.

It’s a tried and tested method that with repetition will give you a greater sense of control in your world.

https://www.thestresshacker.com/product/relax-autogenic-relaxation-response-program/

Oh and if you fancy listening to an interview I gave earlier in the year about finding your purpose check it out here:

https://www.hotflushrebels.com/optin1597304230526

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How To Take Part In Today’s Global Meditation

To Spread Peace

Chaos and unrest are necessary ingredients for change and I doubt that any of us have escaped change so far this year.

Working as a psychotherapist, coach and yoga teacher I’ve learned that there is a time of turmoil and confusion when we learn something new. It stirs up and unsettles what we thought we knew.

Space is required whilst new neurological pathways are carved out adjoining new learning with old. Updating the software if you like.

الحياة مكس

We can see this as a macrocosm and a microcosm in the world right now. The quicker we learn and understand that things need to change, the more quickly life can settle down again as a recalibrated, refined and improved version.

What easier way to create the space needed than to meditate. It is a simple yet powerful tool that can facilitate our growth and development mentally, physically and spiritually and there is now a plethora of scientific evidence to back this up. https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2018/04/harvard-researchers-study-how-mindfulness-may-change-the-brain-in-depressed-patients/

There are huge benefits to meditating and here are some of the experiences that others have https://outwittrade.com/meditation-benefits-and-stories

Please Accept My Invitation And  Join Me Today In A Global Mediation For World Peace And Healing.

Here’s how.

  • At 16:10 today (ten past four) today clear a space, in your home, garden or out somewhere in nature.
  • Sit upright (laying down may encourage you to sleep!)
  • Either keep your eyes open with a soft gaze or gently close them.
  • Allow your mind to quieten. Try this way… imagine an expansive blue sky with soft white fluffy clouds passing by… constantly imagine yourself as the blue sky and the thoughts, the clouds, you can’t stop them but you don’t have to hang onto them or investigate them in any way. Just observe each thought as it passes.
  • Periodically bring your awareness to your inhalation and exhalation.
  • Stay quietly meditating like this for 15minutes.

Know that you and I are sitting together with thousands of other like-minded souls around the world at exactly this time to co-create peace and healing in individuals and mother earth.

You may wonder why this time? Well there are powerful astrological reasons for meditating today at exactly this time … reasons that I do not profess to fully understand here’s a link to get you started if that’s of interest though.

https://www.lunarplanner.com/2020/index.html I do hope you’re able to find 15 minutes to join me today.

If you are interested in listening to my podcasts please follow this link to listen https://anchor.fm/stresshacker the next few episodes are all about mindfulness. Please feel free to share them with your loved ones and anyone else who will enjoy them.

Also if you fancy joining my online yoga classes drop me a line or follow this link for more information.https://www.thestresshacker.com/product/online-hatha-yoga-class-pass/

Oh and check  out my new book all put together with the help of my friend, thanks Shelby https://www.thestresshacker.com/product/guide-to-kicking-anxietys-butt/

Sue x

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Stresshacker Podcast Ep4: Beat Anxiety, Depression And Burnout With Balance

Subscribe to the Stresshacker today!

So many people I see in my practice are lacking energy; they feel tired, anxious and lethargic especially during wintertime. Never before have so many people and, dare I say, particularly women, been so exhausted and frazzled!

That’s the subject for my latest podcast.

Episode 4 of The Stresshacker Podcast offers some valuable ways to re-connect with yourself and others.

I talk about how you can bring much needed balance back into your life and, in the process, counter some of the struggles that we face – such as depression, anxiety and exhaustion.

The pressure is constantly on and our lives are more demanding than they have ever been.

Think about it, are you constantly doing?

In the absence of a nice smattering of being (or certainly doing much less), there’s an imbalance. The more doing we do the more that imbalance will show up in our everyday lives.

Listen to this episode for ways you can regain your sense of balance.

I’ve been so blown away by the response to my adventures into podcasting. It’s a new experience for me and I’m learning as I go.

If you’ve enjoyed these recent episodes, please do like them on iTunes and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. It really does make a difference to how many people find the podcast!

As a special thank you for those who listen to the end, I’d like to offer you half price access to my Wellbeing In A Week short course. Listen to the podcast to find out how to claim it!

I’ll be back soon to bring more peace into your life.


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Episode page:  (let me know if this isn’t available on your favourite podcast app)

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The Stresshacker Podcast Episode 3: Eight moments of mindfulness – guided meditation

Many of you are telling me how stressed you’re feeling and whether that’s due to a heavy work load, the demands of family, illness, life events or just those winter blues, only you can change the way that you feel.
That said I would like to help and want to give you this gift. It’s only eight minutes out of your life and it’s a gift that will keep on giving… if you listen to it regularly!
Episode three of the Stresshacker podcast is an eight-minute recharge for anyone feeling run down, in need of energy – or just need a moment for yourself!
You probably know by now that the nature of the mind is that it likes to be on the move. As such your thoughts will drag you back into the past and you can end up feeling stuck.
Conversely your thoughts can propel you into the future at an alarming rate and then you end up feeling pressured and anxious.

Use this guided meditation to gently pull you back into the present.

Find a time when you won’t be disturbed and settle into a comfortable position. Bedtime is an ideal time. For best results use earphones and lie down. You can sit in a comfy chair, but make sure your head is supported.

I want to stress that your mind WILL wander and that’s absolutely OK! It’s part of the hypnotic process. You do not have to be listening intently. In fact, if you drift off into what feels like a deep sleep that’s also good: it’s just your own way of relaxing!

DON’T listen to this whilst driving or operating any machinery, that would be highly dangerous!

NB. This program is NOT suitable for you if you have ever been diagnosed with depression or any other mental illness. This program is not suitable if you have suffered long-term neglect or abuse and have never worked with a therapist before.

For more tips and advice, please subscribe to my Stresshacker Podcast! 


Subscribe on Apple Podcasts

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Subscribe on Google Podcasts

Episode page:  (let me know if this isn’t available on your favourite podcast app)

Follow me on Twitter, Facebook  or LinkedIn.
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7 Ways To Cope With Anxiety (And beat it!)

How do you stay positive, upbeat and free from anxiety? Recently a client  told me she’d felt great for a couple of weeks after her session and then started to feel anxious again (it should be said it was only her first session!)

Ways to cope with anxiety by The Stresshacker
Combat anxiety with repetition

Despite the popular notion that some people are naturally optimistic, I explained that to stay confident, positive and to cope with anxiety better, you need to work at it.  It’s like going to the gym to  build strength and stamina  – it’s no good going once!

Firstly  you need a map to follow, a daily plan in order to create and maintain a better mind set, then repeat that plan consistently.

Coupled with the knowledge that on average people have 60,000 thoughts a day, most of which are re-runs from the days, weeks and months before, it’ makes sense  to choose different thoughts. If you are constantly thinking the worst doom and gloom thoughts, if you’re endlessly  judging and criticising yourself and others YOU are the one making yourself feel anxious.

Here are some useful ways to cope with anxiety:

1.  Stop Negative Thoughts – Embrace Positive Thoughts – Keep Anxiety At Bay

Do you know the fastest way to maintain positive thinking and dump negative thoughts and anxious feelings? Hypnosis! Hypnotherapists have a great understanding of language patterns and are skilled in the use of positive suggestions. I carefully craft hypnosis programmes to bypass the critical part of the mind so that positive, constructive suggestions are quickly taken on board by the subconscious mind.

2.Repetition.

Repetition is the mother of all skills and in a warped kind of way people often practice thinking anxious thoughts! How crazy is that! Why would anyone do that? It’s just bad habits, like eating junk food! If you want to sustain  a better mind-set you need to hear positive suggestions and encouraging ideas a lot, EVERY DAY EVEN!

Moreover there’s a  short cut,  want to know what it is? Go back and read No. 1 again it’s effortless!

The only discipline you need is to keep a listening device close to your bed at night, after the initial  21 days tune in a couple of times a week  to boost your new positive mind-set

It only takes 21 days to build the muscle memory necessary to create new habits.

Ways to cope with anxiety by The Stresshacker
Train The Brain To Release Anxiety

3. Meditation.

In contrast to hypnosis  when you find ways to still the mind and give it a break from incessant thinking you can also interrupt the cycle of negative thinking. Think of it like changing channels on a radio, there are loud, provocative shouty stations and calm, relaxing programmes on a different station.

As a matter of fact look no further, go to the Free Stuff here and download your free meditation programmes as my gift to you for a more calm, positive 2020.

4.Develop an attitude of gratitude.

Stick a Post-it note where you will see it each day to remind yourself of something to be grateful for.  It doesn’t matter what it is. You can train your brain to turn negatives into positives. For example I balked at my tax bill recently then quickly reminded myself it means I’ve got a job, something many people would be grateful for. I’m still working on that one!

Gratitude
Being Grateful

Being grateful also encourages open-heartedness, you feel more able to give and receive. So do something nice for someone else and enjoy feeling uplifted.

Also have a look at what the expert on gratitude Robert Eamon has to say.

5. Recognise Your Success.

Similarly to gratitude, appreciation is the enemy of anxious feelings. One of my favourite exercises from our self-help book I Just Want To Be Happy really helps you value yourself.

Do it now quickly. Grab a pen and write an exhaustive list of your achievements. I mean everything, from your first swimming certificate, getting that promotion, buying that car to having your babies! Think of as many things as you can, you will be impressed by all  you have accomplished in life so far. If you’re not astounded by your achievements make this year the year you do all those things you’ve been putting off.

It is your job to make you happy I hope this spurs you on to go for it!

6. Sleep Well

Sleep is so important to our overall sense of wellbeing. Whether you’re a  5  or 8  hours-sleep person, the quality of your sleep matters. Develop good routines such as having a technology free bedroom. Go on, really flex your mental muscles and be disciplined enough to TURN YOUR ROUTER OFF over night!  Don’t take my word for it! Try it and discover a) how empowering that feels and b) notice the subtle energetic shift that improves your environment.

For other sleep support invest in the Sleep Well Now programme.

7. Exercise more

Equally we know that exercise is just as important and definitely helps reduce anxious feelings. If you want to feel better and think more positively, plan to get more oxygen into your bloodstream. Yoga, walking and swimming are great ways but really it doesn’t  matter what it is, DO SOME  EXERCISE. Train yourself to enjoy it! Make a commitment to regular exercise  at least three to four times a week.

Moreover when you agree to meet and exercise with a friend or colleague it strengthens your commitment.

So that’s a starter plan to keep you mentally and emotionally buoyant. I am excited to launch a new service at thestresshacker.com I am offering tailor-made hypnosis programmes to help you achieve your goals, improve your mind-set, reduce stress and cope with anxiety. Email me sue@thestresshacker.com to find out more.

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6 Survival Tips For A Stress Free Christmas

How to cope with Christmas

Surviving Christmas Stress:

I love that quote …“Think you’re enlightened? Spend a week with your family!”

For many, family is the messiest part of life. People just won’t do what we want them to do will theyHow to cope with Christmas!

Christmas holidays often mean spending prolonged periods of time with people who can push your emotional buttons, so what’s your plan to survive Christmas and the strong opinions or personalities that can arise at this time?  Check out my tips below.

1. Meditation

The Christmas holidays are a perfect time to develop a regular mediation habit. Start with  5 minutes, building to 7 and then 10 minutes a day by week two.  Along with enormous health benefits, at this time of year meditation can offer you the perfect excuse to get away and give yourself some much needed time and space. Check out my other blogs or click here for simple meditation techniques.

2. Breathe To Alleviate Boredom

I remember someone telling me of their dread of the office party and the boring conversations they had to endure each year. If you get stuck with the office bore try practising a simple breathing technique whilst they’re talking to you. Keep looking at the person and subtly bring your awareness to your nostrils, silently count One on your next inbreath, two before you breathe out, three as you exhale and four before you breathe in again. When you’ve counted 5 ‘whole’ breaths in this way make your excuses ” well, it’s been great catching up and I want to talk to …. now, enjoy the rest of the party” and run!

3. Develop compassion.

If step 2 seems a bit harsh, maybe you can develop the art of active listening? You’re with the office bore again (except you no longer refer to them in such a way) imagine you can drop down into a very peaceful space within and begin listening with an open heart, i.e. with absolutely no expectations, no desire to escape and without a need to fix them, question them or judge anything they say. Good luck with that!

4. Boundaries. Where are yours?

What is your tolerance level for a particular person? So for example you don’t get along with your sister can you sit open-heartedly listening to her for 5 minutes or 10? What and where is your limit? It’s important to know yourself in this respect. Think about these interactions ahead of time.  Once you’ve reached your tolerance level with that particular person have  an “I need to get up and get some water” statement handy, so that you can change your position and your state. Plan ahead, is it possible to arrange to sit next to someone you do enjoy talking to?

5. Booze. Is it time to monitor your intake?

At what point might you say something you could regret? If two drinks leave you merry and sweet but four make you a bit mouthy…  perhaps you need a plan. Think ahead. How do you want to feel when you wake up after you’ve been out partying? When you look back over the previous evening’s events do you want to be happy with your ruminations or will you be cringing because of something you said or did?  Will that extra drink make the difference?  Plan ahead and decide when enough is enough. Before you go out think about an alternative to alcohol get a really clear picture of it in your mind, for example imagine a nice glass of sparkling tonic water with a shot of lime cordial and a twist of lemon, or a pot of freshly brewed coffee.

6. Kindness

Christmas is an especially good time to be thoughtful, kind and generous to others but I hear so often of people (usually women) who have run themselves ragged trying to make the perfect Christmas for others only to end up ‘coming down with something’. So be kind to yourself first, it’s then easier to give authentically to others.  Make time for you and as you give yourself a bit of space  ask yourself “what do I want, what do I need.” When your cup is full there’s a tendency to only want for the good of others and if you’re okay,  you’re in a better position to take care of others.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blogs, visit the site and purchase products I really value your feedback.

Wishing my family, friends, clients, yoga students and readers a great Christmas and all you would wish for yourself throughout 2019.

Remember if you know of anyone who might benefit, my shop is stocked full of hypnosis programs designed to boost confidencecounter stress, deal with anxiety, sleep problems and other issues. Psst! Pass it on please…

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Menopause Made Easier

Menopausal Mad Witch Hag Crone!

There, I’ve said it these are some of the charming names attributed to women experiencing menopause. Women who have reached a stage in their lives where they are no longer able to bear children.  Names mainly levied on us by the patriarch of the past.

The reality of course is that Women are wise and when we realise that pretty much everything that walks the planet is born of woman, we are in fact Creators, Goddesses even.

When we consider the pain and suffering women endure to give birth to humanity, shouldn’t women be honoured, respected and revered at every stage of life?Menopause Made Easier - Sue Smith, The Stresshacker blog

Some stories portray the crone or hag as disagreeable, malicious, or sinister often with magical or supernatural abilities that can make her either helpful or obstructive. Well that’s pretty much true of all of us really, men and women.

And as if creating, birthing, nurturing and child rearing isn’t enough, woman have the menopause to look forward to with it’s myriad of symptoms.

There are hot flushes, dryness, sleep problems, excessive tiredness.  Oh and then there’s the rapid mood swings, along with that wonderful feeling that your brain matter has been swapped for a cauldron of cotton wool!

Want to know about more symptoms? Google NHS menopause for more information.

Because so many of you have asked me  to write about the menopause what I offer you here are my tips and beliefs for dealing with this phase of life.

It’s a time for cleansing on many levels and clearing out the crap!

Many women at this stage realise that they can no longer live incongruently or out of sync with themselves, it just doesn’t work anymore.

People, jobs, gatherings and even friends that were tolerated in the past have no place during the menopause.

Maybe the description of Crone as disagreeable, unpleasant and ugly arises because during the this phase, women often wont tow the party line anymore.

In menopause women are no longer prepared to bend and mould to the ideals of another or even their own earlier scripts.

Many women I’ve worked with yearn to return to themselves, to be more authentic and congruent, done with their roles and labels.

Some want peace, some want fun, or to be heard, whilst others crave adventure. It’s time to do it differently.

So let’s welcome the menopause and treat women in this stage of life  with a reverence for their innate wisdom and knowledge.

We teach other’s how to treat us.

Like all things, that which we seek outside of ourselves must be found  within first. What can you do today to welcome and revere yourself?

The Hot Flush

I remember the first hot flush that roared up my neck and face like an inferno. Feeling distinctly uncomfortable I got up to distract myself when someone brought me a glass of cold water. Its was a kind act of awareness, considerate and thoughtful.  One that remained with me.

After that I learned to stay present with flushes, other than to reach for a glass of water. You’ll also find an ice pack or a packet of frozen peas on your pulse points pretty handy at this point.

Instead of running away from or trying to avoid this physical phenomena, I urge you to stay with it. Dive into the feeling, embrace and welcome it in,  there’s a wisdom in it somewhere.

That Which You Resist Persists.

I hear you say that’s all well and good but what if I’m in a meeting or an important event? Same advice – stay with it. Everything reaches a peaks and has to subside. The more you panic or try to stem it the more fierce it can seem. If you’re fidgeting around mopping your brow and looking uncomfortable people will notice more.  Imagine you’re loving that feeling of warmth.

12 Tips for coping better with Menopause

1. When you feel a flush rising, aim to stop what you’re doing and sit down. Slowly sip a glass of cold water until it passes.

2. Allow yourself time and space to yield to the feeling. You’ll notice that when you do this, that the feeling passes more quickly.

3. Try this lovely yoga breathing exercise called Sitali. This is the version I practice and it must be done sitting in a well ventilated space. Not standing on the platform of the station or in a room blasting out air-conditioning.

4. If sleep disturbances are your main issue and you keep waking up or struggle to get off to sleep, treat yourself to my hypnosis audio program Sleep Well Now or read up on the tips in my book  The Art of ZZZ’s

5. Where possible allow yourself some quiet meditation time on a daily basis.

6. Gentle yoga stretching such as yin and hatha yoga are ideal for personal practice.  I prefer to practice and teach fluid movements with weight bearing poses and attention to the breath.

7. Yoga lowers blood pressure, counters stress and can alleviate pain and discomfort, do a littel each day.

8. Your temperature can go up and down like a fiddler’s elbow during the menopause, so invest in a proper silk pashmina, it will keep you warm when you feel chilly and cool when you’re hot! They’re also great for mopping up the excess schvitz!

9. Keep a fan in your pocket or bag it gives you a sense of control when your body heats up.

Menopause Made Easier by Sue Smith The Stresshacker blog

10. The homeopathic remedy Sepia worked brilliant for me, minimising symptoms such as brain fog and tiredness.

11. I’ve practised Ayurvedic principles for many years and found Pukka Herbs’ Aloe Vera juice to be the best.  It’s cooling,  great for the skin and helps with problems like constipation.  It also acts as a carrier taking herbs to body parts that need them.

12. I would drink a shot glass of aloe vera morning and night and take the herb Shatavari – also from Pukka, which helps to combat the dryness that can come with menopause.

Effortless Being

There’s a notion that we’re no longer in our masculine warrior phase, out there chasing and hustling a living.   It’s time to sit back into the powerful energy of the feminine and allow ourselves to receive.

The feminine energy is depicted by the moon and in the same way that it’s cool brightness can throw light across a darkened sea. This can be a time of enlightenment as we take time to ‘be’ and receive our inner wisdom.

Naturally we’re all different and these are just things that worked well for me I hope they help you. Share your tips with me on my Facebook page thestresshacker or in the comments section below.

Enjoy!