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7 Ways To Cope With Anxiety (And beat it!)

How do you stay positive, upbeat and free from anxiety? Recently a client  told me she’d felt great for a couple of weeks after her session and then started to feel anxious again… it should be said it was only her first session.

Ways to cope with anxiety by The Stresshacker
Combat anxiety with repetition

Despite the popular notion that some people are naturally optimistic, I explained that to stay confident, positive and to cope with anxiety better, you need to work at it.  It’s like going to the gym to  build strength and stamina  – it’s no good going once!

Firstly  you need a map to follow, a daily plan in order to create and maintain a better mind set, then repeat that plan consistently.

Coupled with the knowledge that on average people have 60’000 thoughts a day, most of which are re-runs from the days, weeks and months before, it’ makes sense  to choose different thoughts. If you are constantly thinking the worst doom and gloom thoughts, if you’re endlessly  judging and criticising yourself and others YOU are the one making yourself feel anxious.

Here are some useful ways to cope with anxiety:

1.  Stop Negative Thoughts – Embrace Positive Thoughts – Keep Anxiety At Bay

Do you know the fastest way to maintain positive thinking and dump negative thoughts and anxious feelings? Hypnosis! Hypnotherapists have a great understanding of language patterns and are skilled in the use of positive suggestions. I carefully craft hypnosis programmes to bypass the critical part of the mind so that positive, constructive suggestions are quickly taken on board by the subconscious mind.

2.Repetition.

Repetition is the mother of all skills and in a warped kind of way people often practice thinking anxious thoughts! How crazy is that! Why would anyone do that? It’s just bad habits, like eating junk food! If you want to sustain  a better mind-set you need to hear positive suggestions and encouraging ideas a lot, EVERY DAY EVEN!

Moreover there’s a  short cut,  want to know what it is? Go back and read No. 1 again it’s effortless!

The only discipline you need is to keep a listening device close to your bed at night, after the initial  21 days tune in a couple of times a week  to boost your new positive mind-set

It only takes 21 days to build the muscle memory necessary to create new habits.

Ways to cope with anxiety by The Stresshacker
Train The Brain To Release Anxiety

3. Meditation.

In contrast to hypnosis  when you find ways to still the mind and give it a break from incessant thinking you can also interrupt the cycle of negative thinking. Think of it like changing channels on a radio, there are loud, provocative shouty stations and calm, relaxing programmes on a different station.

As a matter of fact look no further, go to the Free Stuff here and download your free meditation programmes as my gift to you for a more calm, positive 2020.

4.Develop an attitude of gratitude.

Stick a Post-it note where you will see it each day to remind yourself of something to be grateful for.  It doesn’t matter what it is. You can train your brain to turn negatives into positives. For example I balked at my tax bill recently then quickly reminded myself it means I’ve got a job, something many people would be grateful for. I’m still working on that one!

Gratitude
Being Grateful

Being grateful also encourages open-heartedness, you feel more able to give and receive. So do something nice for someone else and enjoy feeling uplifted.

Also have a look at what the expert on gratitude Robert Eamon has to say.

5. Recognise Your Success.

Similarly to gratitude, appreciation is the enemy of anxious feelings. One of my favourite exercises from our self-help book I Just Want To Be Happy really helps you value yourself.

Do it now quickly. Grab a pen and write an exhaustive list of your achievements. I mean everything, from your first swimming certificate, getting that promotion, buying that car to having your babies! Think of as many things as you can, you will be impressed by all  you have accomplished in life so far. If you’re not astounded by your achievements make this year the year you do all those things you’ve been putting off.

It is your job to make you happy I hope this spurs you on to go for it!

6. Sleep Well

Sleep is so important to our overall sense of wellbeing. Whether you’re a  5  or 8  hours-sleep person, the quality of your sleep matters. Develop good routines such as having a technology free bedroom. Go on, really flex your mental muscles and be disciplined enough to TURN YOUR ROUTER OFF over night!  Don’t take my word for it! Try it and discover a) how empowering that feels and b) notice the subtle energetic shift that improves your environment.

For other sleep support invest in the Sleep Well Now programme.

7. Exercise more

Equally we know that exercise is just as important and definitely helps reduce anxious feelings. If you want to feel better and think more positively, plan to get more oxygen into your bloodstream. Yoga, walking and swimming are great ways but really it doesn’t  matter what it is, DO SOME  EXERCISE. Train yourself to enjoy it! Make a commitment to regular exercise  at least three to four times a week.

Moreover when you agree to meet and exercise with a friend or colleague it strengthens your commitment.

So that’s a starter plan to keep you mentally and emotionally buoyant. I am excited to launch a new service at thestresshacker.com I am offering tailor-made hypnosis programmes to help you achieve your goals, improve your mind-set, reduce stress and cope with anxiety. Email me sue@thestresshacker.com to find out more.

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What is Wellbeing? How can it work for you?

Wellbeing In A Week Course

Why is Wellbeing so important?

Wellbeing online course
WELLBEING AND HEALTH

Simply because it affects your overall health and happiness.

As a teacher and therapist of many years I see first hand how important wellbeing is for people to thrive. See what the World Health Organisation has to say about it.

I have learned that everyone has a story and none of us move through the journey of life unscathed. Some people suffer anxiety from past or current events and other’s live with emotional scars. And whilst some live with physical traumas, everyone has to deal with loss at some time in life.

It’s Not   Happens To You, It’s How You Deal With It.

My short course Wellbeing In A Week helps combat anxiety and stress.

It offers simple exercises and is packed full of opportunities to program positive thinking and wellbeing into your mind and body.

There are 5 main components to Wellbeing

1.Connection

Loneliness is an epidemic and there are many reasons for it, technology not being the least. People who feel lonely often talk about feeling isolated too. Whilst this isolation is actual, in that they may have stopped going out and connecting to others,  it can also show up as a  physical numbness,  an inability to feel.  In therapy we discover that  this usually forms part of a much bigger picture of grief.  Grief can come from all kinds of scenarios such as a childhood where parents are absent because of  divorce, death or just  ‘unavailable’ because of long working hours. Grief and isolation can also stem from periods of bullying at school or in the workplace.  The lonely person can feel cold, numb and shut-down.

The remedy is to  connect, learn to trust again and reach out for connection. Finding just one  person to talk to or discovering a small group that you could join. You can develop connection by taking up a  hobby. 

2. Be Active

It’s so important to stay fit and healthy. The stress hormone cortisol goes up when you feel lonely and this can compromise your immune system and affect your heart adversely. Psychologically this could be because ‘affairs of the heart’ will have you thinking in negative cycles spiralling into anxious and depressed thinking.  Serotonin, Oxytocin, dopamine and endorphins all help us to feel happy and most are released when doing things we love and enjoy … so find the exercise you love and boost your wellbeing.  So many people talk about a sense of ‘coming home’ for example, when they discover the joys of yoga. 

3. Keep Learning

Keeping your mind active by discovering something new learning something different from your usual daily routine will boost your wellbeing.  It could be something technical or a musical instrument or online courses that teach you how to think differently such as Wellbeing In A Week.

Wellbeing In A Week, online course, the stresshacker

Remember there’s always help at The Stresshacker to deal with things that threaten to derail you or negatively impact your wellbeing.

Take at peak at the shop here for resources to:

4. Give To Others

Yes! believe it or not giving to others makes us feel great! Develop an attitude of gratitude to boost your happy hormones. Think back, when was the last time you helped someone out? The last time you made a random act of kindness? If you can’t think of anything try doing something by the end of today to help someone out. You will be helping yourself too.

5. Mindful

Being mindful means being present in the moment here and now.

Try this exercise,  stop right now and centre yourself by observing 3 things that you can see, 3 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel without moving too much and 3 things you can smell and taste. 

How was that? How long did it take.  It was easy wasn’t it! And do you know what’s even easier? Go to ‘freebies’ section in The Stresshacker shop and download your free audio guides for mindfulness. Let me know how you like them.

Interestingly sometimes the smallest change in your routine, your thinking or habits can have a massive positive impact on your health and wellbeing. Investing in self-care is probably one of the most important things you can do to maintain a good sense of self and wellbeing.

Enjoy!

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WELLBEING IN A WEEK PREVIEW

Exciting news! Wellbeing in a week is winging it’s way to you soon.

Are you feeling happy? wellbeing in a week, reading book in bedAre you engaging with others? Does your life have meaning? If so, that’s great news and means you have a positive sense of wellbeing. If not this course is for you.

Apparently engaging with others brings out the best in us …yes even you introverts .

Learning something new fosters a sense of wellbeing because we’re stimulating the mind and detracting from the usual cares and worries.

You’re more likely to meet like-minded people if you go to those things that interest you. Don’t wait for someone else to like what you like – go and meet the people who are already involved in the things that interest you. You’ll have fun!

Regarding my own wellbeing, I’ve been unable to teach yoga for the past few months which had started to get me down. Then I realised I had become rich in time and used that time to design an online course for wellbeing.

So keep your eyes peeled it’s coming your way on Wednesday 6th November National Stress Awareness Day. Wellbeing In A Week is a short easy to apply crash course on developing wellbeing. I hope you like it.

Please remember to visit the shop here at the Stresshacker and download your FREE audio mindfulness programmes… they really are free and really do work.Mindfulness, wellbeing, wellbeing in a week, the stresshacker

Meanwhile try this exercise.

Write down 5 things that you would love to do or learn. Forget the drawbacks, the resistance just quickly write down NOW! 5 things that you would love to learn by this time next year.

That’s it, that will now go on the back burner of your mind and cook up a way to bring that to you. Wellbeing is yours for the taking.

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STOP SMOKING

It’s Stoptober when could there be a better time to Stop Smoking!

What do you shut up and light up and put up with…?

With the average packet of cigarettes costing around between £10 to £12, who can even afford to smoke these days?

I used to be a nicotine addict. I know what it’s like to have your every waking thought be about how soon you could have your next cigarette.

Worse still I did not fall into the category of a ‘habit’ smoker. You know, that annoying person who can have one or two socially and then not smoke again. No, not me I was a slave to it. It dominated every part of my life and my constant thoughts were about the addiction and also how to stop smoking. It had such a  terrible grip on me.

Because I’m somewhat of a control freak (towards myself not others) I couldn’t bear the idea that a piece of paper with some leaves in it, had control over me. Determined  to stop smoking I used everything I knew and I finally did it. I stopped. Moreover  I  have since helped hundreds of people to break the habit and deal with the underlying causes.

Are you serious about wanting to stop smoking?

you can do it and I’m here to tell you that 

IT’S EASIER THAN YOU THINK!

As you will see here, smokers are either habit or compulsive. If you fall into the ‘habit’ category and would like to stop smoking try this approach.

  1. Set a date to stop, say a month from now.
  2. Between now and then keep changing your brand of cigarettes to confuse the habit.
  3. Tell your friends that you are going to stop smoking (this way you become accountable).
  4. Leading up to your stop smoking date, avoid the ‘ritual’ cigarette. Thats the one you always have on your break or after dinner.
  5. Stop smoking in your usual places. In other words change the routine.
  6. Place your cigarettes out of reach so that each time you have one it is a ‘conscious’ action.
  7. Negotiate the odd fag! Ask yourself do I really need it? Drink a full glass of water and if you still want it have it.
  8. When you choose to have a cigarette or vape do it with full consciousness. I.E. don’t don’t do anything else just smoke it mindfully.
  9. Preparation: The day before your stop smoking day, get rid of all of the paraphernalia, ashtrays, lighters etc. Bin them!
  10. Make sure you’ve downloaded Stop Smoking Now from the shop at thestresshacker.com
  11. On your stop date Listen to Stop Smoking Now! Hypnosis Program first thing in the morning and last thing that night.

Compulsive smokers will need to explore the underlying emotions that drive them to smoke. That’s likely to be FAGS, Fear, Anger, Guilt, Shame or all of them.

If all traces of nicotine have left the body after 36 hours (faster if you go for regular steam baths) then you would think the addiction is no longer there wouldn’t you? So what are you left with? Thoughts and feelings.  Even the weakest willed person can change their thoughts… you think about a cigarette – change the thought, you could recite the words of a song for example. Feelings they can be less easy to change and they will need understanding, exploring and changing.

That’s easy, just book a session with me! Go to Work With Sue at thestresshacker.com.  Seriously I promise you you will feel so much happier when you reclaim your power back and stop smoking. There’s loads of free help too from the NHS here. So save your money and your health and break up with these bad boys now!

Let me know how you get on and if you have questions join me on the stresshacker’s facebook page and we can talk about it there or leave your comments below.

I’m also excited to share that I have a new Wellbeing online workshop coming up very soon so keep your eyes peeled as it also has some special offers in it.

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15 Ways To Understand Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Healing begins in the past.

 

It’s Never Too Late To Have A Happy Childhood

What is emotional intelligence? How do you stop yourself from feeling like a child when you’re pulled up at work about something. Why do you react to your own children in a childish way? Why can’t you stand up to that bully? Just how do you grow up and heal emotionally?

For almost 30 years I’ve had the pleasure of helping thousands of people to develop emotional intelligence.  I’ve facilitated many as they’ve healed old wounds and genuinely found ways to leave an unpleasant past where it truly belongs, in the past!

Whilst counselling and cognitive approaches can be great ways to understand your past, they don’t always hit the spot when it comes to ‘feeling’ better.

Many clients arrive in my therapy room after months, sometimes years of counselling elsewhere, yet still feel that they haven’t moved on.  Although they have a good understanding of their pasts, they still feel they haven’t grown up emotionally. Why is this?

The simple answer is this. You remain emotionally stuck because emotions live in your body – not in your mind. To have emotional intelligence you probably need to heal the past.

Your emotional life lives on in your physiology.

What does that mean?

Your emotions are stored in your organ body and are communicated via your physical systems. Such as the nervous system or cardiovascular and respiratory systems.

What is emotional intelligence? Is it intellectual or somatic?

Let me ask you a question. Do you feel anxious or think anxious? Often the feeling precipitates the thoughts.

For example, you wake up with a feeling of anxiety in your chest, it feels like a tight band around your chest. You add all kinds of reasoning and ‘rationale’ as to why you’re feeling that way.

You’ve got a presentation later that day. You’ve had an argument with a colleague or friend, or you didn’t get enough sleep.

You attribute these thoughts to the feelings of tightness in your chest, the thoughts build and the band gets tighter. This creates a vicious circle.

To become more emotionally intelligent learn a little about your subconscious mind and it’s connection to your body.  Discover how you can change the way you feel.

 

  1. Your subconscious mind is also your imagination, your unconscious mind and your long term memory, the other 90%. It all means the same.

  2. According to quantum physics the subconscious mind processes 44 billion bits of information per second! Read that again!

  3. This part of your mind has billions of jobs to do. One of the main jobs is to store information, regardless of whether that information is true or false. Read that again!

  4. Your subconscious mind is phenomenally intelligent, yet simultaneously childlike in quality

    This mind holds all the memories of billions other you’s from the past. Look at the photo of the Russian Dolls and imagine one doll for every moment in time. They are all you.

  5. Your subconscious mind is nothing to be afraid of … it’s just YOU!
  6. Your subconscious mind has your best interests at heart… at every stage in your life.For example if when you were 14 you had a temper tantrum with your parents and screamed inside your head over and over with great emotion  “I wish I were dead!” That part of you still holds that intention. That nano second thought in time stays there at an energetic level.
  7. Because your subconscious mind cannot identify past or future, everything just is,in the here and now. This makes healing the past possible!
  8. Time is man-made. As I write this it’s 12.30pm here in the UK yet it’s 1.30pm in France. Your subconscious has no such time restrictions, so you can change memories (and their attached emotions) in the so-called past.
  9. .Your subconscious mind is willing to help you in the pursuit of your goals and dreams. But it’s up to you to make really clear exactly what you want. You can program a brighter future, because your subconscious mind’s main job is to store information.
  10. Your subconscious mind is basically YOU and it wants to help you.  You at a conscious level are the headquarters and your subconscious awaits your instructions. In the absence of any new directives, it just carries out old programming, often in the form of negative thoughts and beliefs.
  11. The subconscious mind is connected to the systems and organs in your body. This is where you feel.  According to Eastern traditions such as acupuncture and Ayurveda your emotions live in your organs.If you have you ever heard someone say they were gutted? Or noticed someone unconsciously holding their breath in fear as they recounted an unpleasant memory?  That’s the emotion ‘held’ in the stomach and cardio- vascular and respiratory systems.

    12. Your subconscious mind is really happy to change perspective on any issue past or future, because it                  wants to help you to feel better at every level.

    13  Due to the nature of your subconscious mind, it is willing to accept changes. When you change                             perspective on an old issue it affects your physiology positively.

    14   By playing around with visualization paired with a relaxed body, you can change past events and                       program future events and physiology will obey.

    15   This is currently revealed as neuro-plasticity, yet has been known and practiced by hypnotherapists                 the world over for years!

It’s easy to re-programme your mind. Hypnosis is the fastest way to do this. By regularly downloading positive suggestions to your subconscious mind, you bypass the ‘critical factor’ i.e. the conscious mind and in as little as a week you can be feeling happier and more positive. 

As I once told a client “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood!”