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What? Having Trouble Sleeping?

Woman Struggling To Sleep

Mistakes That Stop You From Going To Sleep

Are you having trouble getting to sleep? You're not alone according to research a whopping 36% of UK adults struggle to get to sleep at least on a weekly basis. Almost 1 in 5 have trouble falling asleep every single night. Nearly half of the UK have trouble falling asleep at least once a month.

Woman Struggling To Sleep
Restless Sleep

Make a note of my  best sleep tips:

1. STOP STIMULATING YOURSELF!

One hour before bed STOP drinking, especially alcohol and anything with caffeine in.

STOP scrolling, watching TV, working on devices, and listening to the radio or podcasts. Even reading is a No No if you want to get to sleep and stay asleep.

2. START BEING SMART

This is what to do with that hour. Once or twice a week oil up! Especially if your skin is dry. Massage, using warm sesame oil. Cover your entire body gently massage your face, your ears, up your nose and in between your toes!  Allow the oil to soak in for 20 minutes, then have a warm bath or shower you will sleep so well.

Prepare: Get things ready for the next day during this hour. If there are things you feel you have to do, make a note of them before you go to sleep and decide to do them first thing in the morning.

Head trash? If you’re plagued with thoughts this is the best time for you to journal. Scribble it all down to empty out your mind.

Still awake? If you’re still obsessed with thoughts, sit upright, close your eyes and gently hum… feel the vibration on your lips as you exhale the hum - do this for 10 minutes it will help your mind to quieten and sleep to come.

Still can't sleep?  Why not? Write down the following sentence and then the next 50 things that come to mind. " I can't sleep because..." Let's face it, you're the expert on you and somewhere you know what the problem is - unearth it and deal with it!

3. AND DO THIS...

Are your feet cold at night? Massage warm sesame oil into your feet and put socks on - you'll sleep like a baby!

To show baby sleeping
Sleep Like A Baby

Meditate for 15 minutes. Sit upright ideally on a hardback chair. Close your eyes. Bring your awareness gently to your nostrils and follow each in breath, pause, exhalation  and the following pause... rinse and repeat.

Don't go to bed hungry or full, both get in the way of a good night's sleep. Exercise a little discipline and aim to stop eating and drinking after 7.00pm. Plan to eat aa more substantial lunch.

If you’ve missed out on sleep - Don’t nap, go to bed a bit earlier instead.

Set your alarm for no later than 7am. Don't play the alarm game... you're an adult! Get up and get on.

This is by far the best tip, go for a brisk 30 minute walk within two hours of waking up.

Download my Sleep Well Now programme and bundle for minimum effort.

The problem of poor sleep won't improve unless you do something different. These tips will help you to reset your sleep pattern and cultivate healthier night-time routines.

 

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The Mistakes of International Women’s Day

So here we are in International Women’s Day 3021 – yes you read that correctly – and the pay gap has finally balanced out. Well you’ve got to have a dream haven’t you?

You Said Mistakes, What Mistakes?

It’s Time For Balance

Just one of the mistakes is that in most countries there is still a substantial gender pay gap that according to some reports https://ourworldindata.org/economic-inequality-by-gender could take 100 years to balance out.

And lucky for you that you’re not female working in agriculture in rural India where they are purportedly underpaid by as much as 34%

Why should women work more and get paid less?

Want to know another mistake? It’s this, despite women collectively being at the forefront of the race to combat Covid-19 – we’re talking health care workers, scientists, doctors etc – globally they are still paid 11% less than the men in their fields.

Men, we  also need your voice here, to speak-up and speak-out for your female colleagues who are being  undervalued, undermined, underpaid and mistreated. We are your mothers, sisters and daughters, help us fight this worldwide  inequality.

How can you support International Women’s Day?

https://www.unwomen.org/en/news/in-focus/international-womens-day?gclid=Cj0KCQiAs5eCBhCBARIsAEhk4r6W3ecsZmAFPxC0IsL_WugloPqMg

Also on a local level you can help the women in your community by supporting their businesses. Aim to buy their products, use their services and recommend them to others. You can do this by sharing in social media and word of mouth.

Never tear down her Crown, always straighten it and champion each one another.

On a personal note self-care is a must check out my SCABTS in a past post… these are ways to take care of yourself.

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Open Heart Therapy

Release Old Hurts

When a client asked “What is Open Heart Therapy?”   We went on to talk about the effects of being emotionally hurt, I think most of us have some experience of this.

Does anyone sail through life without being wounded at some point? Heal Your Heart

When we feel hurt, scared and rejected the natural response is to withdraw, close down and push away in order to protect ourselves.

This shutting down often takes place in the heart area. It can be a gradual closing down from small childhood hurts to a more sudden snapping shut after a major rejection.

The fall-out from this ‘protection’ can be devastating and one of the consequences is poor communication. In our efforts to keep ourselves safe, we can end up closing down in the throat area, meaning that open honest conversation is a no-go.

Instead of juicy heartfelt conversations that lead to  real intimacy and healthy relationships, important dialogues  left unsaid will have negative effects.  Couples I’ve worked with talk about avoiding direct eye contact, instead talking about mundane things like the weather or “What’s for dinner.” Humour can also be used to avoid genuine connection or worse still, no conversation at all as couples polarise to opposite ends of the bed, room, home or country.

Rather than searching or waiting impotently for someone else to provide the magical key that will open our hearts and free our speech, it is possible to take control and do it ourselves.

In a secure environment we can gently work on the business of improving our relationships, with ourselves first and then as a natural evolution, with others.

The benefits of this heart work are manifold as we learn to accept our unique selves and practice self-love,  we can breathe more easily, feel authentic, empowered and more comfortable in our skin.

When we fill our own cup first, we have more to offer others, you cannot serve from a depleted cup.Release Old Hurts

Back in 2004 I ran the first ‘Open Heart Therapy’ workshop in Holmes Place and a few times since then but NOW definitely seems the right time to open up the heart chakra and get the other centres energised and spinning.

If you’re ready for the ‘Open Heart Therapy’ challenge you can book your space on this Saturday’s workshop Registration closes Friday 5th  March 2021 at 1.00pm. Book here or drop me an email at Sue@thestresshacker.com to join us.

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‘Open Heart Therapy Workshop’ Personal Development

Open Your Heart Therapy

In 2004 I ran my first personal development ‘Open Heart Therapy’ workshop and whilst successful, I sensed it was ahead of it’s time.Open Your Heart

So many people are saying it’s the right time for personal development and the success of last weeks Open Heart Therapy workshop proved it for me.   

But what does Open Your Heart even mean? As a therapist of 30 years I know too well how people shut down when they’re hurt. Whilst that’s no revelation, it is interesting to recognise that it’s the people closest to us who are capable of hurting us the most. 

It’s the friends, family, lovers and partners who we allow to get close, those who we open our hearts to  that we can feel most wounded by.

When we are honest and open-hearted  we can be vulnerable. If  betrayed and hurt in that space then naturally we lose faith and can be loathe to experience that again.

If you burn your hand when you put it into a fire, ouch! It hurts. You’d be crazy to do it again. The same kind of things happen when we’re hurt emotionally.

Fundamentally the heart is a pumping muscle  which can tighten and contract  like any other muscle in the body. With sufficient reason(s) to become restricted, it can metaphorically,  close down and because it’s a muscle it can’t  judge and can shut out people who haven’t hurt you.  

The consequences of emotional numbing in the heart  can have  the knock-on effect of deadening  passion in other areas  of life, we can feel drained have that “whats the point, who cares” type of thinking .

In addition, being emotionally blocked can also inhibit our ability to speak our truth openly and assertively.

This is because the energy centres above and below the heart are adversely affected.   We can feel weakened energetically, loose will-power and find it hard to fight addictions or stick to a healthy lifestyle. 

These are good enough reasons for personal development and attempts to heal the heart.

The thing is muscles need stretching and exercising and this is what my Open Heart Therapy workshop offers it aims to help you to move forward and heal the past if you’re ready. Are you ready for some personal development?

Testimonies:

“It totally met my objectives, mentally and physically.”
DB 12/02/2021
“It also made me very aware of the impact of parents’ behaviours on their children…Yes, would definitely recommend…”
NS 14/02/2021
“I’d like to say it was very good the workshop today, very beneficial and very well put together…I have already recommended it to other people!”
MF 12/02/2021
“It went really quickly – I would like to do it all over again!”
SB 15/02/2021

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Open It Now! It’s For You

How are you? It certainly feels like we’re being tested on so many levels in these changeable times.

I’m sure you know that among other things,  stress is a feeling of not being in control which can trigger all kinds of emotional, psychological and behavioural problems.

But how to deal with it? One of the main keys to dealing with stress is to develop flexibility so that we improve our bounce-ability factor and become resilient.

Dare I say the most flexible tree is the bamboo because of it’s ability to bend easily in the wind and then stand tall again.

How can we become more flexibile? Well I could say take up yoga, develop new hobbies, improve your way of thinking by listening to hypnotherapy programmes. But better still, find your own ways. 

Write down 10 things you could do to become more flexible mentally and physically.

Along with sending you my good wishes for the holiday period I want to offer a couple of approaches to help manage stress, anxiety and any other difficult feelings.

A Christmas Gift For You
 
Please do the exercise, as it’s experiential, it will only that will take about 7 minutes of your life and it may prove valuable. Try it now.

1. Sit somewhere away from distractions and close your eyes.
2. Repeat the following words to yourself silently and mentally.
“Be” “Just Be” repeat this periodically until you find your breathing slowing and a sense of quietness beginning to emerge.

You might find the next bit challenging and counter intuitive on one level but just go with it.

3. Invite the negative thought/feeling/emotion into the quieter space by simply saying “I welcome…       (anxiety, frustration, sadness, headache, stomach churning or whatever.)

4. Imagine them as an unexpected, slightly unwanted guest who’s arrived at your door but your good  manners dictate that you’re going to invite them in anyway!

5. When you’ve repeated ” I welcome” let’s say anxiety in, notice where it lives. Do you feel it in your chest? Or stomach for example.

Don’t get lost in the thought or feeling and don’t get too involved, stay mildly detached, you’re merely observing it.

6. After a few minutes of this, welcome in the opposite feeling/emotion/thought. So you might then say silently “I welcome peace and calmness” again repeating it several times.

Notice what peace and calmness feel like and where these feelings sit in your body.

Another odd thing to suggest but do it anyway…

7. Begin to move back and forth between the words  “I welcome anxiety and tension” then “I welcome peace, calmness and tranquility”

8. Finally after doing that for a couple of minutes, imagine you can step back away from the opposites and repeat silently “Be” “Just Be”

Let me know how that works for you.

The second gift I would like to offer is a free mind/body training that will lead to a more relaxed in control you.Download it and practise it until you’re able to do it anywhere anytime on your own. It’s my gift to you along with my fervent wishes that you be well and happy.

It’s a tried and tested method that with repetition will give you a greater sense of control in your world.

https://www.thestresshacker.com/product/relax-autogenic-relaxation-response-program/

Oh and if you fancy listening to an interview I gave earlier in the year about finding your purpose check it out here:

https://www.hotflushrebels.com/optin1597304230526