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These are my essential survival tips for a stress-free family Christmas

How to cope with ChristmasAs Christmas approaches it can be a time of mixed emotions. There’s such a lot of schmaltzy advertising and just about everywhere you look there are images of perfect Christmas scenes.

This is not the reality for many people. Over the years I have worked with clients who dread being thrown together with relations they clash with or can just about tolerate. The struggle for these people is to honour themselves without becoming too accommodating and acquiescent in the process.

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Would you sit a child in front of it? Why you need to stop watching the news

The News StresshackerI often ask clients who feel stuck, anxious or depressed to refrain from reading the newspapers and watching the news on a daily basis.

Why would I encourage people to stay away from the news? Well, here’s the reason.

If, in your memory, you already have a collection of negative, miserable or traumatic memories and thoughts stored up, you will increase the negativity by adding a regular diet of troubling news.

And, let’s face it, most of the news is negative.

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10 Top Tips For Dealing With Frustration

Did you know that anger can be an indicator of bereavement and grief? That is, you are experiencing some sort of loss. That could be loss of someone close to you, as in death or divorce, or even the loss involved when moving home or a job change or redundancy.

Just acknowledging this can be a start in managing anger.

Here  are some of my favourite tips to help reduce or manage feelings of frustration and annoyance:

1.  Write, on a sheet of paper, “I’m angry because…” and write a list of 50 things that come to mind. The exercise in itself will be enlightening and then see if there is anything you can actually do to change the irritating factor. If you can’t, then you might just have to do a bit of growing up and work on accepting what you can’t change.

2. Write a letter (by hand) to the person you feel angry with (even if they are no longer alive) and tear it up into lots of pieces when you have finished.

3. Sing or whistle – it helps you to breathe out; at the end of the sound you have to take a deep breath in again.

4. Repeat, silently, “I am calm and relaxed I am at ease” (even if you’re not feeling it!)

5. Lie on the floor with knees bent and feet flat on the floor, and bang the feet up and down tapping them from side to side.

6. Look up EFT on YouTube and Google it: there is a ton of free information that will help you learn how to do this amazing technique.

7. If you’re stuck in traffic, take a deep breath in, and as you breathe out make a loud HAAAAA sound.

8. Tell yourself that this feeling will pass.

9. Find a quiet room and take time out to listen to a relaxation or stress management recording. (We have one in our shop if you need one

10. Think about what might be causing your anger. Try this simple thought exercise to get to the bottom of your feelings: How to lose your baggage and lighten up.

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Working Too Hard? Here Are 12 Things You Can Do About It

12 Things You Can Do About Working Too Hard

We’ve talked about the 11 signs that you’re working too hard. If you recognised yourself in those signs that you’re over-doing it, we’ve put together some tips to help you slow your life down again.

Twelve things you can do for a calmer, happier, less stressful life.

1. Put your arms in the air

Stand with feet hip width apart:

  • inhale raise arms up in front and overhead, as you exhale bring arms down beside you
  • inhale raise arms out beside you then up overhead exhale bring them back down beside you
  • repeat 10 times.

If you’re stuck in a stuffy environment do this on and off throughout the day. Yep, people will think you’re odd to begin with; you’ll get over it and they will get past it. Putting your arms in the air helps to make you feel more lively and can help give you a different perspective. Try it now and see!

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Are You Working Too Hard? Here are 11 signs…

Twee as it may sound, ‘all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’ is a truism.

Signs you're working too hard

Below are 11 signs that you may be overdoing it on the work front.These indicators that you are no longer coping with this aspect of your life can be a gateway to a better existence. It is often said that life is a journey, well if that’s true what kind of a ride are you having?

If you relate to any of the symptoms below, then it may be time to make positive changes. Developing a better balance between the various parts of your life could make your journey more of an adventure.

1. You can no long contain your anger

Sudden angry outbursts or angry reactions disproportionate to the event/conversation, constant sniping or unpleasant jibes are symptoms of stress. Incessant anger can be an indicator of a deeper issue such a loss or bereavement.

2. You’re behaviour is irrational

Have you found yourself doing something completely alien to you like booking a train to somewhere you’ve never been or spending a lot of money on inappropriate clothing or things for the home? Behaviour that is out of the ordinary can be a sign of stress and that you’re over-doing it in the workplace.

3. You break down in tears without warning

If you are usually quite controlled, but start breaking down in tears at the slightest thing you may need a break!

4. Complete loss of interest

A sure sign of stress is boredom with everything in your life and a lack of desire to see friends, or go out and join in your usual activities. Constant thoughts of ‘why bother’ or ‘what’s the point’ are angry thoughts – albeit inverted anger – which can present itself as a mild depression.

5. Sleep problems

Are you finding it hard to get off to sleep? Are you waking constantly throughout the night or waking early?? Perhaps you are falling asleep at inappropriate times? Sleep disturbances are a cue that something is out of balance in your life: there’s too much going on and your brain is not resting at the right time.

Smoking stress

6. Mental Confusion

One client described her mental confusion as fuzziness, “it’s like someone has taken my brain and put cotton wool in its place”. If you’re finding it difficult to concentrate and apply yourself maybe you are overdoing things on the work front.

7. Physical Symptoms

Physical manifestations of stress include feeling over-heated (and irritable as a consequence). Certain types (A personality) may feel mentally hot and a rising heat in the body, which pushes their irritability up even further.

8. Onset of panic and anxiety

Feelings of dread, panic and anxiety in the stomach, chest and throat suggest that you’re struggling to keep on top of things. Maybe you feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities or fear you won’t cope with your workload.

9. Change in eating habits

If you are overeating and constantly focused on your next snack or meal, or conversely have completely lost your appetite and never think about eating, it may be time to look at your workload.

10. Obsessions

Any disproportionate urge to ‘use’ – be it cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, sex, exercise, food, gambling, shopping or any other ‘fix’ – is a pointer that all is not well.

11. Phobias

A sudden onset of a phobia or compulsion may suggest work overload.

So are you working too hard? Stay tuned for 11 things you can do about it.

For a stress-free life, download the Stresshacker self-hypnosis audio