Posted on April 15, 2021April 15, 2021 by Sue Smith — Leave a comment

10 Steps To Stay Stress Free After Lockdown

Going back to work after lockdown will have it’s challenges for sure. Because there’s a tendency in life to cling to the familiar, to feel safe and secure, change can feel threatening. Are there steps we can take to feel more in control and stress free after lockdown?

Read on for some suggestions on how to make your re-integration as stress free and smooth as possible.

Indeed let’s also remember, that whilst the more extrovert among us may be excited at the prospect of returning to work and re-engaging with an audience, other’s may well
dread the return to work for that very reason! Just the act of interacting with gregarious

Outgoing Personality — Stress-free and ready to go!

colleagues can be draining, anxiety provoking and far from stress-free for those with more introvert tendencies.

Rather than worrying about what might happen, aim instead, to discover how to ring fence yourself and reduce the risk to your mental health and emotional wellbeing.

Write a personal risk assessment and find stress-free solutions for your particular situation. Have a look at some of my suggestions below

You may wonder, can there be certainty in such uncertain times?

Perhaps a level of acceptance is a better state to aim for than a sense of certainty because we are in a state of flux and futures are uncertain for many of us.

Yet the fact remains, we want to feel in control and there is so much in life that we have no control over, the sooner we accept this, become flexible and adapt, the less stressful life will be.

Taking Charge of life — Stress-free and back in control

How can we handle the stress of not having control? In this link I explain the Circle of Influence and Circle of Control a tool that facilitates the discovery of personal ways to feel empowered and stress-free.

In fact, something as simple as learning a gentle breathing technique can quell a rising panic allowing you to regain self-control in the middle of a meeting or on the train going to work.

Before returning to work make a list of some of the things you are in control of.

Below are some tips about how to stay stress free after lockdown.

1. Consistent Clear Communication

This might be expressing to your line manager/supervisor/boss that you’re struggling with an aspect of the return to work. If you find it difficult to verbalise, write a private and confidential email outlining your concerns.

Likewise where possible, suggest one or two solutions to the problem you’ve identified, such as split working from home/office. Changing hours or asking for clarity on the troubling issue.

This way you take both the problem and the solution to your boss, who may also be struggling with issues.

2. Listen to yourself first

Your body will give you very clear signals of discomfort and distress if you tune-in and listen.

Try this, a minimum of 5 minutes quiet time each day can be enough to pick up on a tightened chest, or a churning stomach. If your body is light and buoyant all is well. Feelings of heaviness, constriction are not good signs, what do you think that’s telling you?

Pay attention to these feelings and aim to explore and address the issue causing these problems, talk them through with a trusted friend, colleague or engage a therapist or coach.

We know that there is a global collective grieving at this time but what we don’t know is who is grieving, or what or whom has been lost. It could be a loved one, a job or an income. Never has there been more of a need for kindness, compassion and understanding.

3. Listen and be prepared for emotion

Besides listening, know that we can’t fix other people’s stuff so don’t even try! What you can do is offer people time and space to listen, really listen and it’s one of the kindest gifts we can give another. Even identical twins suffering the same loss will experience their bereavement differently, so we should never presume to know what someone is feeling or when.

It’s much easier to ask them, “How are you?” and then listen, you may pick up the signal immediately that they do not want to talk about it or maybe if you stay quiet for just that tiny bit longer, they will share something with you.

Again, prepare yourself to be uncomfortably comfortable in the face of emotion. People who you least expect to be emotional may break down and cry in your presence. Be with them, hold the space for them and resist the temptation to hand them tissues, put an arm around them or placate them with platitudes.

Consequently they are more likely to benefit and recover quickly if you don’t react in this way. That’s empathy and compassion and can help them enormously.

4. Find Your Balance

Aim for balance and work out how you can achieve that? What do you need to do to re-energise? Do you need to stop and give yourself a short break to move around for example? Are you the type of person who needs to eat a little and often to keep your energy high? Are you sipping any water regularly? Is your head feeling hot? Perhaps you need to take the EarPods out of your ears to give them a rest.

Make a list of resources you need to keep with you to help you to feel balanced and in control.

5. Ask yourself good quality questions

“What do I want. What do I need to feel more balanced now?” Listen to your response, that’s your prescription, your wisdom so why not take your own advice!

6. Work Smarter

Because many people will be returning to a backlog of work and since multi-tasking has been debunked, avoid that! Instead aim to spend longer at the outset and create a clear plan of action.

Besides prioritising tasks with a simple A,B,C,D method which will quickly provide order, you’ll also have a more realistic view of your workload. This will give you greater sense of control. You will also be in a better position to manage your expectations and communicate your position to colleagues or staff.

7. Set Realistic Goals

In addition to creating a schedule of work, aim to set small pragmatic goals. In your planning phase work out roughly how long each task will take, block that time out in your diary/calendar with the time span. This keeps goals realistic, also schedule in short breaks, to stand up and stretch, have a comfort break or a drink.

As a result of utilising steps 6 and 7 you offer yourself an opportunity to validate your efforts and recognise your achievements. In this way you’re not waiting around for someone else to pat you on the back. Say ‘Well done” and reward your good behaviour with a treat. A luxurious bath, a walk with a friend or carving out some time to read a book.

8. It’s OK to say No

Furthermore practice saying a good, clear No try saying it out loud now! You can be pleasant but firm when you say No. “No, I already have more than I can realistically handle” No I simply do not have the available time. No, it’s not my responsibility, I cannot take that on” Get used to that word in your mouth and throat.

In fact I often have clients’ practice saying No in front of a mirror in as many different tones and volumes as possible. Add to this good body language, such as a firm hand extended away from your chest with a big “No” should you need to communicate your position more clearly, will speak volumes.

9. Connect At Your Own Pace

You’re either itching to get back out with friends and family or feel the need to connect slowly.

First it’s your business is to know what you want and need. Secondly negotiate with yourself to establish what feels right and manageable for you. Thirdly practice out loud explaining to your friends and family how you need to proceed and see how you can arrive at a workable compromise between their expectations and yours.

10. Recognition And Validation

Finally, Be Your Own Cheerleader. Just be kind and loving to yourself. You will get the best from yourself by being supportive and gently encouraging. Watch out for the inner critic, sack your ‘Judge’ and pump up the volume on your balanced assertive adult self!

There is no ‘right’ way to do this only the way that is right for you, so aim to honour and respect your needs and keep your communication honest clear and consistent.

Posted on March 21, 2017March 22, 2017 by Sue Smith — Leave a comment

THE WAKE UP CALL

Are you ready for a change of scene?

Had enough of your current job?

Feeling Burnt Out?

If you feel like you can’t continue in your current existence, you are not alone. Every year thousands of people reach a point where they can no longer continue working in the same way, with the same people or in the same job or industry.

You just wake up one morning and know that it’s time for a change.

I was in my mid-twenties when I reached that point. I had come to hate my job, the industry and I didn’t like most of the people I worked with either.

I felt trapped by the money, I had a mortgage from the age of 22 and the notion of walking away from a well paid job seemed totally reckless.

I was run down, stressed and miserable and as a result became pretty unwell. After the third spell in hospital, I recognised this as a massive nudge from somewhere deep inside, to wake me up, shake me up and take responsibility for changing my life. I realised I was waiting! Waiting for something to happen. Waiting for someone else to make my life different.

This was at the start of the self-help movement and I read hundreds of books to help me find the confidence and methods to make those changes. I developed a habit of getting clear about exactly what I wanted and then applying certain steps to make sure I got it. I’ve retrained in a number of different fields, Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy, Yoga, Reiki. I’ve become an author, a blogger and a jazz singer. I’ve since spent the best part of twenty-eight years helping thousands of people to redefine themselves, to follow their hearts and launch new careers. You can do it.

Want to know how? Here are my starting steps when I want to make change.

Firstly create some space where you can be still and quiet and ask yourself the following questions.

What one thing am I really good at? What one thing do I seem to do naturally well?

Now ignore the voice that throws up the negatives and keep asking yourself that same question until you get some good answers.

I remember thinking defeatedly ‘I’m not really good at anything, there’s no area in which I excel.’ But I stuck at it and eventually a little voice said “You’re good at talking to people” It was true, I could stand at a bus stop and a total stranger would tell me their entire life story, then get on the bus and say “Do you know I’ve never told anyone that!” Eureka. That was it… the only thing I could come up with!

Yet that simple answer started a whole new career for me which I still love and enjoy with every cell in my body.

When you’ve come up with a couple of answers write them down, stick them on the back burner. The process is starting.

2. If I didn’t have to worry about what anyone else thinks. If I didn’t have to worry about money or how I would pay my bills. What would I do for work?

Again, ignore all the negative, whiney head trash that wants to bring you down. That’s your ego battling for position! Write down the stream of positives that come to mind, such as … “I’d work with animals, I’d travel the world, or I’d be a yoga teacher” Now put those ideas into the pot on the back burner.

In a few days some ideas will begin to brew. Watch out for them and write them down.

When you get some idea, some direction that doesn’t contain a negative, you’re ready for the next step.

3. Just suppose (imagine) you were going to do that thing… the idea that you thought of, how would you go about it? What would be your first step of enquiry? Can you google some information?

Can you find someone who’s doing what you’d like to do or has what it is you would like to have?

If so call or email them and ask if you can buy them, a coffee or lunch, explain that you would like to ask them some questions about their work. Be honest and transparent. Naturally some people will say no, but many are flattered be asked and want to help.

First gather this information. Gradually all the ideas, information and knowledge come together and you will feel excited. This is your cue. If it’s a feeling in your heart GO FOR IT!

Find a way to make this happen. Go back to learning, take that course in your spare time, negotiate taking some time out of the workplace. Do what you have to do to kick-start your new career. When it’s something you feel passionate about, trust me, it will not feel like work. You will be happy to be up to the early hours of the morning writing your plans, or studying, because you know that you are working toward something really meaningful to you. Something heartfelt and positive.

When you live, breathe and talk about your dreams you bring a powerful energy to it that will attract a similar resonance. If it’s your dharma (your calling) doors of opportunity will open for you, you will be wafted along pathways that will support your calling. You will meet the right people at the right time who will share similar dreams and values.

DO NOT share your dreams with people who criticise, judge and search out the negatives in your plans. Why would you. You need to believe in yourself and your dreams.

If you need additional inspiration or support to get you over your fears about making change, grab your copy of my book Super Charge Your Confidence and the accompanying download of the same name from my shop.

Let me know how you get on.

Posted on April 15, 2016 by Sue Smith — Leave a comment

Growing Up At Last!

This week’s blog is going to be a little brief due to me going out and kicking my heels up (that’s the adult in me!) My parent part would have me slog over this blog for a few hours longer, revisiting it over and over “until it’s right”! DeathtoStock_Creative Community7

The child/teenager in me would likely acquiesce and sit for another few hours at my desk ‘to get it right’!

The adult in me knows it’s okay to have compromise. The adult is okay with not being perfect

If you’ve been following the past few blogs where I’ve talked about the model of looking at the mind in 3 parts, the child, parent and adult parts this will all be making sense, if you’ve just landed on this blog though, you can be forgiven for wondering what I’m on about! Start reading from here

In a nutshell, we tend to run old beliefs and thoughts programmed during childhood. It’s rare that we challenge or change these thoughts and beliefs and sadly the older we get the more ingrained they become. Simply put, we believe what we’ve been told about ourselves in the past.

Identifying the adult in us and adding new thoughts, beliefs and behaviours is akin to upgrading the software! The adult part is the starting place to set goals and if you like, reinvent ourselves.

In case you missed the rationale behind why this updating is so powerful I’ll reiterate. The subconscious mind (the other 90%) believes whatever it is told. Please re-read that last line!

If like many people who start to work with this model of the mind, you feel unsure of who your adult part is, or how you want to be, have a look at one of my favourite speakers Julian Treasure and familiarise yourself with his mnemonic HAIL

Honesty

Authenticity

Integrity

Love

I’m sure you’ll agree these are worthy traits to add to your adult part. Enjoy and watch Julian’s TED talk here>

Posted on March 18, 2016March 20, 2016 by Sue Smith — 1 Comment

Is It Time To Wake Up And Smell The Coffee?

Build It And They Will Come!

From time to time I talk about Transactional Analysis, the psychotherapy model that suggests that we have three ‘parts’ running in the back of the mind, that of the parent, adult and child.

For the purpose of this blog and to keep it brief, let’s assume that the programming of the Parent Part and the Child Part is from our past conditioning and as a result, set in stone. This would mean that the only part available for us to grow and develop is the Adult Part.

Because the subconscious mind believes whatever we tell it, we can program the Adult Part of the mind with positive thoughts and ideas.

If we think of the adult part as a clean slate for example, with no past programming, we can set realistic and achievable goals out into the future in order to have, be, or achieve the things we want in life.

If you don’t have a goal, how can you get there?

If we sent 22 footballers out into a field without the goal posts, there would be no game!

When coaching clients, I help them to explore how they would like to see themselves in the future.

Play around with this idea now. How would you like to see yourself in five years time? What will you be doing? How will you be living? What work are you doing? What sort of holidays are you having? What sort of relationships are you enjoying?

If we fail to plan, we plan to fail.

The kind of life you would like to lead and the future you would like to have is unlikely to happen on its own, it wont just magically appear. Let me ask you a question. Do you really think that someone else will come along and read your mind, somehow know what you want and need and then provide it? Nope. No one can know what you want and need more than you!

As an adult, you’re in charge of your life and it’s up to you to make it happen.

Try this exercise; pick one area from the following list:

My working life/career/business.

My finances.

My health and fitness.

My relationships.

My personal goals, this can include travel, courses, and education.

My community/what do I give of myself to others e.g. time money support expertise.

Now ask yourself these questions: If I don’t have to worry about anyone else or what they think, if I don’t have to worry about money or paying bills, what would I be doing? (in the area that you picked from the list).

Quickly write down the things that come to mind.

Build on this idea a bit more by asking more questions like what would it look like, it sound like, how would it feel, what images come to mind?

Does it make you feel light hearted and excited when you imagine that future you?

First of all get to work by dreaming it. I’m going to pick this up again in my blog next week, so be sure to read it to know what to do next.

Enjoy!

Posted on May 9, 2015June 6, 2017 by Sue Smith — Leave a comment

3 Hour Exams!

Yes it’s that time of year again! Here are some tips to survive the revision and exams.

Many teenagers are revising at the moment and we all know how stressful that can be, so this week’s blog contains top tips for revising and staying cool, calm and confident through the revision period and beyond.

Create a timetable of study.

Set short achievable tasks for your revision. It’s important to ‘chunk’ down. After all you can’t revise the whole thing in one go! So break things down into small chunks.

For example, you could revise in 20-minute chunks, set your phone (or alarm) when it goes off, change your activity for at least 5 minutes. Get up and stretch. Go and get a drink. Play with the dog! Then go back to revising. Naturally if you’re on a roll and studying well, you can skip a break and continue on for the next 20-minute chunk.

Look at the week and decide where, when and how you are going to revise. If you’re unsure, find someone who seems to revise well. Pick their brains and find out what they do to revise, where they do it and how, then copy that formula!

On Exam Day

Plan a good routine for the day. It might sound daft but it’s important know exactly where you’re going, it has been known for people go to the wrong place, out of sheer panic! Not you though. If you have to travel to your place of exam, do a dummy run a week before if necessary. Give yourself as much chance as possible to feel confident.

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail!

Even planning exactly what you’re going to wear so that you’re in charge of your own temperature will give you a sense of control (Layers are good).

Aim to be early and be prepared. Have your bag and any items that you might need, ready, well ahead of the exam day.

Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate!

Drink plenty of water during study periods and the exam; this has been linked to improved memory power. According to a study at the University of Wales (D.Benton, N Burgess – Appetite, 2009 – Elsevier.) ‘Recall was significantly better on the occasions when water had been consumed’.

Breathe deep then eat

Many students say they feel panicky prior to exams and suffer from anxiety. Many performers feel nervous before they perform and there’s at least one scientific study that says that nerves can help you to perform well, so maybe your anxious feelings are a good thing and they are going to help you to perform well!

Anxiety can sometimes make your tummy tense and your chest tight though and that’s not great. So try this, sit upright and rest one hand on your heart and one hand on your tummy. I call this the ‘Vagus Hug’ as it puts you in touch with a powerful nerve that runs from the brain through the heart to the gut and it is a powerful communication channel. Close your eyes and breathe in and count to 3 hold for a couple of seconds and as you breathe out to the count of 5 imagine your hands becoming warm and soothing to your tummy. You’ll be amazed at how quickly the tension melts. Don’t take my word for it, practice it and see for yourself.

Once you feel more relaxed ensure that you eat something prior to the exam. If you feel uptight make sure it’s something easily digestible. Protein is always good and can be easily digestible if it’s something light like an omelette or scrambled eggs. Plan what you will eat on the day – have everything ready.

Are your thoughts serving or sabotaging you?

Watch out for your thoughts they can either be helpful and positive or negative and damaging. Do NOT project negative thoughts into the future… that’s just daft since the future hasn’t happened yet!

You have a choice. What are you saying to yourself about your ability to study? What are you saying to yourself about the exam itself? Modern psychology and hypnotherapy knows that it is possible to ‘future pace’ suggestions.

An example of a good future paced suggestion is “I now revise easily, effortlessly and concentrate with focused attention whenever I revise.” Or “On the day of the exam I feel confident and relaxed. My recall is sharp and accurate I breeze confidently through each question.” Notice the suggestion is phrased in the ‘here and now’ which is important, since the subconscious mind doesn’t have a sense of past or future, so it prefers suggestions as if they’re already happening.

Obviously if you haven’t done the study or the revision in the first place, this can’t come true but if you’ve done the work – then trust your subconscious mind to serve you. You could be amazed by the results.

Finally, listening to Stress Free With Confidence every night will definitely help you to remain calm and to feel more confident. I suggest listening for a month leading up to the exam and also through your revision period. Listen on ear-phones each night as you drift off to sleep and let it work for you.

Good luck with your exams and remember you are still a wonderful unique person whatever your results.

Sue x

Posted on August 16, 2013September 15, 2015 by Sue Smith — Leave a comment

Working Too Hard? Here Are 12 Things You Can Do About It

We’ve talked about the 11 signs that you’re working too hard. If you recognised yourself in those signs that you’re over-doing it, we’ve put together some tips to help you slow your life down again.

Twelve things you can do for a calmer, happier, less stressful life.

1. Put your arms in the air

Stand with feet hip width apart:

inhale raise arms up in front and overhead, as you exhale bring arms down beside you
inhale raise arms out beside you then up overhead exhale bring them back down beside you
repeat 10 times.

If you’re stuck in a stuffy environment do this on and off throughout the day. Yep, people will think you’re odd to begin with; you’ll get over it and they will get past it. Putting your arms in the air helps to make you feel more lively and can help give you a different perspective. Try it now and see!

Continue reading Working Too Hard? Here Are 12 Things You Can Do About It

Posted on August 5, 2013August 11, 2015 by Sue Smith — Leave a comment

Are You Working Too Hard? Here are 11 signs…

Twee as it may sound, ‘all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’ is a truism.

Signs you're working too hard

Below are 11 signs that you may be overdoing it on the work front.These indicators that you are no longer coping with this aspect of your life can be a gateway to a better existence. It is often said that life is a journey, well if that’s true what kind of a ride are you having?

If you relate to any of the symptoms below, then it may be time to make positive changes. Developing a better balance between the various parts of your life could make your journey more of an adventure.

1. You can no long contain your anger

Sudden angry outbursts or angry reactions disproportionate to the event/conversation, constant sniping or unpleasant jibes are symptoms of stress. Incessant anger can be an indicator of a deeper issue such a loss or bereavement.

2. You’re behaviour is irrational

Have you found yourself doing something completely alien to you like booking a train to somewhere you’ve never been or spending a lot of money on inappropriate clothing or things for the home? Behaviour that is out of the ordinary can be a sign of stress and that you’re over-doing it in the workplace.

3. You break down in tears without warning

If you are usually quite controlled, but start breaking down in tears at the slightest thing you may need a break!

4. Complete loss of interest

A sure sign of stress is boredom with everything in your life and a lack of desire to see friends, or go out and join in your usual activities. Constant thoughts of ‘why bother’ or ‘what’s the point’ are angry thoughts – albeit inverted anger – which can present itself as a mild depression.

5. Sleep problems

Are you finding it hard to get off to sleep? Are you waking constantly throughout the night or waking early?? Perhaps you are falling asleep at inappropriate times? Sleep disturbances are a cue that something is out of balance in your life: there’s too much going on and your brain is not resting at the right time.

6. Mental Confusion

One client described her mental confusion as fuzziness, “it’s like someone has taken my brain and put cotton wool in its place”. If you’re finding it difficult to concentrate and apply yourself maybe you are overdoing things on the work front.

7. Physical Symptoms

Physical manifestations of stress include feeling over-heated (and irritable as a consequence). Certain types (A personality) may feel mentally hot and a rising heat in the body, which pushes their irritability up even further.

8. Onset of panic and anxiety

Feelings of dread, panic and anxiety in the stomach, chest and throat suggest that you’re struggling to keep on top of things. Maybe you feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities or fear you won’t cope with your workload.

9. Change in eating habits

If you are overeating and constantly focused on your next snack or meal, or conversely have completely lost your appetite and never think about eating, it may be time to look at your workload.

10. Obsessions

Any disproportionate urge to ‘use’ – be it cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, sex, exercise, food, gambling, shopping or any other ‘fix’ – is a pointer that all is not well.

11. Phobias

A sudden onset of a phobia or compulsion may suggest work overload.

So are you working too hard? Stay tuned for 11 things you can do about it.

For a stress-free life, download the Stresshacker self-hypnosis audio

Posted on July 17, 2013August 11, 2015 by — Leave a comment

What Would You Achieve If You Knew You Couldn’t Fail?

Zig Ziglar

I frequently get asked by leaders and managers how they can stay motivated. This week, I was talking to a sales director who was asking why he had to constantly motivate his teams and I was reminded of this quote by Zig Ziglar:

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.

In these challenging times, motivation is critical for personal, family and business success. Getting and staying motivated — both individually and as a family or team — is essential. People often see motivation as something that happens to you, either you are or you aren’t, but it doesn’t work like that.

Motivated employees produce better results. Motivated teams are more productive. Motivated families feel more content. Getting and staying motivated is something you need to work on consistently. It is something that you need to work on every day, every week and every month.

Finding your why

Individuals can motivate themselves more effectively by better understanding why they do what they do. They already know the ‘what’ of their role and the ‘how’ they do their jobs but what is their core ‘reason’?

What is really essential is to question the ‘why’ or the ‘reason’ you do what you do. Check out this amazing TED talk by Simon Sinek to find out more.

So, start to inspire yourself by setting your goals in writing (journaling your successes gives you a different relationship with your goals, is easy to do and reaps massive rewards) and remember to reward yourself every time you achieve a goal no matter how small. It makes a difference.

The business of happy teams and families

And remember, this is about your personal life as much as your working life. There’s a growing “Family Inc.” movement at the moment: that is, families that are run like businesses. Bruce Feiler recently wrote about the “business of happy families” in the Wall Street Journal and Patrick Lencioni’s “Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family” explores how many business principles can be brought into the home.

Teams and families can be motivated through inspirational meetings, team building exercises and development, to name just three easy methods. Happy teams and families are more productive and feel more valued. In fact, individuals who feel valued at work give around 18% extra discretionary effort.

Whatever strategy you choose it is not something that you can do once and then forget. It’s something you have to work on every day and every week. Regular meetings, updated business plans and goals (yes, even with your family) will help to keep you on track and identify where further motivation is needed.

What can you do now to improve your and your team or family’s motivation levels today?

Can’t Get Your Work Done? Here’s How To Hit Those Deadlines

Are you having trouble hitting deadlines? Do you procrastinate when you should be getting things done? Chances are, no amount of time management tricks will fix this until you deal with the deeper issues holding you back.

This guide will take you through all the emotional reasons why you might be sabotaging your own time-keeping, and includes some practical tips on what to do to get you back into time-management heaven.

Take the following steps and surprise yourself at how quickly you can do it.

Five Simple Steps For Fixing Your Time Management Issues.

Step One: Send Your Inner Child to Bed

Send your Inner Child to Bed - The Stresshacker - Sue Smith — (c) Esperales

First off, it’s important to recognise that you’re making a choice. You can either get this done now in the quickest most efficient way or you can time waste, procrastinate, whine (inwardly or outwardly!) or make a million different excuses.

The reality is nobody cares.

Grow up and get on with it. A bit of mental discipline never hurt anyone.

Bit harsh? Thing is we have an internalised child part. For many of us the child part doesn’t want to work, the child might be fearful of ‘getting it wrong’ so wants to avoid, play or hide. Some people find it stressful even thinking about deadlines and so prefer just to do nothing rather than deal with the worry. If you let that child part of you dictate your behaviour you’ll never hit your deadline.

You are a grown-up! It’s time to remind yourself out loud how old you are. Say to yourself, “C’mon Julie, you are a 36-year-old account director” (obviously, fill in your own name, age and occupation instead!)

Tell that part of you that wants to procrastinate, that it isn’t helpful, that you don’t want it or need it. Tell it to go away and find a different game to play and remind yourself instead of how great you’re going to feel when the task is completed.

This is the most simple step, but by far the most important one. If you do NOTHING else, take this moment to send your child off to play and make it clear to yourself that your adult is in charge. Oh, and you can tell your inner parent to stop beating you up too – that’s not going to help you get things done.

Pick some carrots

If you’re driven by the carrot it might be good to tell your child part that when the deadline is achieved you can lie in a bath, watch that film, go shopping – or whatever the ‘reward’ is. If you’re a stick person, you’ll need to come up with something that will make it painful if you don’t succeed. Check out the article below which has tips for how you can visualise things to motivate yourself.

Step Two: Plan Like an Adult

Take a moment and – with your adult head on – make a plan. I would hate to remind you of that old adage that if you fail to plan you plan to fail, but it is true.

First write a list of the steps involved. Do this by hand, that way you get the feel-good factor of ticking off the completed segments and the sense that you’re nearing the deadline. It will also make you feel adult and efficient.

Give yourself specific instructions, not vague to-dos. For example, if you write “start research by ringing X and ask the following questions” you’re more likely to feel inspired and get the job done than if you write something that feels too vague or over-whelming like “research book”.

Next, think about the deadline. Can you break it down into three parts or four parts? Chunking down into more manageable pieces makes it much easier to approach.

Another way is to write out everything you have to do to hit your deadline and then 1,2,3, 4, it. The highest priorities are ones, the next are twos and so on. Stick to the plan, get on and do the ones first.

Plan your space

As part of your planning, get everything you need in one place. You don’t need any distractions. If you have to keep getting up and down to get things, you run the risk that the child part might interfere and then you’ll wander off down the procrastination road again.

Less is more. Once you have everything put it into neat piles, on another desk or on the floor. Only have on your desk/table the things you need to complete the first stage of the assignment. Clear the clutter away, it’s distracting and you need every bit of help to stay focused. Don’t use that as an excuse to spend the next three hours re-organising your office, however. Limit your clean up time to 15 minutes. If you need a glass of water or a cup of tea get it now.

Plan your breaks

Do you know yourself? If you know that you will work better with a couple of breaks, schedule the breaks in on your list above. Other than a toilet break, stick to those breaks on your list and time them. I suggest 10 minutes is long enough to make a drink, look out of the window etc. Then it’s back to work. AVOID LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE! This is likely to be the biggest temptation and the strongest hook. Be disciplined, wait until you’ve hit your deadline.

Step Three: Make Your Workspace a Happy Place

Make your Workspace Bright - The Stresshacker - Sue Smith — (c) JD Hancock

If you’re feeling lethargic place some lemon oil somewhere in the room. Apparently, the Japanese pipe this smell through the air- conditioning in their offices as it is believed to stimulate mental clarity. A recent study also suggests it enhances your mood.

Put something brightly coloured near your work station. This might just keep the creativity flowing. I tried using a multi-coloured feather duster. I was amazed – it worked (and, let’s be honest, I would never use it to dust)! According to a study by the University of British Colombia, red in your workspace improves your attention to detail, while blue makes you more creative. (Further reading: Color in Office Environments [pdf]).

Be nice

If you’re still feeling uninspired and uncreative step back and observe your thoughts for a moment. Are they helpful and supportive or negative and sabotaging? The most important things we ever hear are the things we say to ourselves. If you’re feeding yourself messages like, “I should never have taken this on, I can’t do it, It’s too difficult” what kind of a reaction would you expect? It’s far better to say to yourself “I can do this, I can do this, I can do this”.

Did you know that your unconscious mind has a massive storage capacity? Many believe it contains a record of every bit of information you have ever picked up from the moment of your birth. It’s where a hidden cache of information, memories, skills and talents reside. Use it. Ask your unconscious mind good quality questions in order to get good quality responses. So instead of , “I wish I’d never taken on this assignment, I’ll never do it in time,” say to yourself, “how can I get this assignment finished in record time?” You will be amazed and impressed with the solutions that begin to filter through.

Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.

The interesting thing is that whatever we believe becomes our reality. I’m going to say that again because it is so important.

Whatever we believe becomes our reality.

Successful people don’t wonder whether they will meet their deadlines, they know they will. Do you know why? Because they don’t entertain the idea of failure, it doesn’t enter their world. Successful people believe they will succeed.

To meet your deadline have the absolute total conviction that you can and will do it. When you have strong positive beliefs they strengthen your determination which then fosters your will power. Your will power supports a good sense of self and so your confidence grows. It’s an analeptic circle: in time you develop strong faith and a pride in yourself because you know you can achieve what you set out to achieve.

Step Four: Be Disciplined

Work steadily and allow yourself to get in the flow. You’ll be amazed at how good you’ll feel as you begin to reach your deadlines more quickly.

Modern psychology, NLP, attributes the smooth running of successful businesses to the placement of good systems. Once you have a good system in place it runs on its own with very little need for maintenance. Getting up, going to the toilet, having a shower, cleaning your teeth, in that order, constitutes a system. After a while you haven’t got to think about it, that’s just the way you do it. It works!

In exactly the same way, once you have your way of hitting your deadlines in place, you won’t have to think about it. It becomes automatic. Having your systems in place leaves space for the creativity often required for the work and time for having more fun.

Step Five: Leave a Buffer

Leave yourself a little longer than you think you will need, especially the first time you set up this system.

At this point you are training yourself. Aim to get more done in less time. Set yourself chunks of time throughout the assignment and work conscientiously. Set the alarm on your phone and work consistently until the time you’ve allocated yourself is up. Then take your break.

Imagine you are the Managing Director of your company.

You are setting a good example to your other employees. Remind yourself periodically of Step 1 – you are not a child! Get on with it!

Part of developing this self-discipline is to get hold of your brain and gain mastery of it. The nature of the mind is unruly. It wants to be constantly on the move darting into the future – “what shall I get for dinner?”, “I wonder what John’s doing” – or flipping back into the past – “I can’t believe he said that”, “I wish I was still sitting in the Alps looking at the blue sky”.

Stop it!

Don’t go there; it’s lazy unstructured thinking and not the thinking we need for hitting those deadlines! Get in the now. Be present. Think only about the job in hand. Focus on what it is you want to achieve with this project/deadline.

This is a massive step to maturity, placing your attention on what you want. When you realise that you can concentrate your self–confidence takes another flying leap.

Enjoy it!

And do you know what? Look forward to it! Hopefully you are working your dharma: living the life you have chosen or at the very least working in a field that you want to be in. If not, you need to put some time aside and work out what you do want to do. Life’s too short to spend most of it in an occupation that you don’t like or enjoy. When you are working more from your heart and you have a passion for what you’re doing, it really should be as effortless being.

Stop Letting Your Child Rule Your Life

Do you avoid doing jobs because the thought of it stresses you out? Do you eat too many bars of chocolate when you promised to eat healthily? Are you late for things simply because you didn’t leave on time? Chances are you’re letting your inner child take control of your life…

I know, I know, you start out with really good intentions at the begining of the week. You’re going to eat sensible, healthy foods. And yet by Tuesday you’re on your second take-away.

It sounds like your inner child has taken over and is running the show!

Stop Letting Your Child Rule Your Life - The Stresshacker - Sue Smith

What Happens When You Let Your Inner Child Rule

That inner whining often goes something like this: “it’s not fair, I’m tired, I don’t want to work, I can’t be bothered to go shopping, I need a treat now, I deserve it!” And giving in to it means that you – the adult – are no longer in charge. Let’s face it if you were, you might be able to have a more grown-up conversation with yourself!

Your inner adult might say something like: “I know you feel like you deserve a treat, but if you do eat those crisps or drink that extra glass of wine, your workout at the gym will feel even harder and ultimately the dress you want to look stunning in next weekend will feel tight and uncomfortable. You’re just hungry let’s get something yummy and healthy to eat right now and if you still want crisps after you can have them!”

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