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DO HARRY AND MEGAN DO THIS?

In my last blog I wrote about the mistakes we make in relationships and how you’re on a hiding to nothing if you’re trying to change the other person.

Let’s have a look at Mistake No. 2. 

I’m sure that even the best among us are guilty of this next one, which is to think that we know them, better than they do. We are right! Only we have the answers, if only they would listen. Sound familiar?

A major cause of arguments between couples is the desire to be right. When you foist your views on others with the absolute conviction that your way is the right way, your ego has taken over. The ego part of the mind must be right at all costs, because ultimately it fears death.

The reality though, is that the more dominant the ego, the more likely the person you’re projecting onto will need to shut down to protect themselves,  or it will trigger their defence mechanisms and you’ll soon find yourselves arguing.

The next time you’re ‘helping’ someone and trying to get them on board to do it your way, it might be interesting for you to take a breath and notice what you’re feeling, is it frustration? Impatience?

Do you view the other person as the enemy? Perhaps you could ask yourself why it’s so important for you to be right?

In doing this we may be able to identify when our ego is at work and consider how can we change the way we communicate in relationships to get a better outcome.

Is there another place that you can step back into? Not literally, but within yourself?

Communicate with Compassion.

With practice you can learn to change your state,  perhaps come out of your head and drop into the heart space. Remind yourself that you’re in the presence of someone you love. When you come from a heartfelt perspective, it’s easier to reframe what’s going on between you in a more caring manner.

What is your common ground?

Is it the children? Or perhaps your desire to stay together? To not have to go through all that again, but mature in your relationship?  Or simply to improve your home?  Many fights happen around DIY.  From this perspective, you might have less of a need to be right, and more desire to approach your issues with a sense of compassion.

A Good Questions to Ask Yourself When Attempting This Reframe

“What would have to happen for me to see you as my friend, an ally?” What would you have to do to view them through the lens of love? Famous self-help author Louise Hay was an advocate of seeing your partner as a small vulnerable child and show them kindness. Be gentle in your approach and you might find the other person is more responsive to what you’re trying to share.

Relationship counselling can teach us how to better communicate with others and learn to listen properly.

Finally, with everything you know about the other person, can you trust them? Is it possible for you to let go and trust that they might have a perspective? Trust that they might also know what’s right for them?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Protect, Preserve and Conserve Your Life Force Energy

Get cosy in winter

As this year comes to a close and we move into the darkest most quiet time of the year give yourself permission to sleep longer, nap more often and generally hibernate. In this way you will emerge into spring with more verve and energy.

Get cosy in winter

5 Top Tips for Surviving Winter

  1. Keep your lower back warm. Kidneys and adrenals appreciate the warmth. Wear an additional layer around your hips, perhaps a thick warm scarf. Use a warmed wheat bag on your lower back if you’re sitting for long periods of time.
  2. Keep hydrated with warm drinks – try the winter drink recipe if you think you’re going down with a cold.
  3. We’re closest to Mother Earth at this time and as such a time for reflection, write down what lessons you learned in 2023, what you don’t want to repeat and what you’d like more of.
  4. If you’re too sedentary get up and Shake The Tree. Stretch up onto tip toes and raise arms and hands above your head with interlinked fingers. Make the sound Aaaah as you bring your arms down by your sides. Rinse and repeat.
  5. Finally, develop a strong building block by improving the quality of your sleep. Turn all technology OFF and leave it out of the bedroom. If you ruminate a lot, then write your thoughts down before you go to bed. A warm bath/shower an hour before bedtime and when your body begins to feel chilly that’s your body’s way of telling you it’s bedtime.
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Tips for Wellbeing

Are you feeling Weepy? Tips For Your Wellbeing

Are you in need of a boost for your wellbeing? It might be reassuring for you to know that this is the season for feeling grief and sadness. According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, the season of Autumn relates to the organ of the lungs which emotionally hold grief. Although separate organs, the heart and lungs are interrelated by the cardiovascular and respiratory systems. This means that any ‘affair of the heart’ such as loss, upset or conflict can be the trigger for grief. The heart affects the lungs, and the lungs affect the heart.

So, what can we do to boost our wellbeing at this time? Move!

Here are three ways to improve our wellbeing. We need to move stagnant energy (Prana, Qi or Ki) out of our lungs.

  1. Try some shoulders shrugs individually and both together.  Shrugging acts as a pump to move stale energy and encourage better circulation try it now, where-ever you are, can you feel the lungs moving?
  2. Stand up and relax your whole body and shake your arms, bend your knees, and straighten your legs, repeatedly, shaking off any negative energy through your hands and fingers, like a tree losing its leaves in the autumn.
  3. Take your arms out to the sides float your palms up toward each other and back down again and repeat. This simple movement opens the sides of the lungs brings a bit of energy to your intercostal muscles (that sit between your ribs) and lift both heart and lungs. You’ll feel instantly brighter and more energised.

And Finally…

As Autumn is a season of ‘dryness’, you may have noticed your skin feeling dry and crepey (not creepy!) at this time. To remedy this, set some time aside for self-care. Get some sesame oil (it’s naturally the warmest oil) and heat it. I place mine into a plastic bottle and then put it into a stainless-steel cup of hot water. When it’s warmed, begin to gently massage your body, including the nostrils, ears fingers and toes, including your nails. Allow half an hour for it to soak in before having a bath or shower. NB if you oil your hair, which feels amazing, you will need to put neat shampoo on your hair before the water or it will be difficult to get the oil out. Not only will you feel nurtured and comforted, you  will also sleep well, so best done at night. Repeat once or twice a week.

Autumn is a good time to boost your immune system in preparation for winter so remember, that there are lots of resources and programmes available in the stresshacker shop to make life more manageable for you. 

Try out Healing Now Hypnosis Program if you’re starting to feel under the weather and take advantage of the Freebies!

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Get Organised And Save Time

Some friends and I were chatting recently and discovered something in common, namely a state chaos and a realisation of how much time is lost by attempting too many things at once.  I mean I’m talking, highly talented and skilled women here, so it was surprising to discover how many of us need to get organised in other ways.

We laughed about starting a hundred chores at the same time, okay slight exaggeration here, but…

Can you relate to this?

You start one task, for example clearing your desk, then you go to the kitchen to get a drink, open the fridge, notice the shelf needs a wipe over and end up cleaning out the fridge. Then you remember you’re half way through clearing up your desk, so go back to your desk. Then you notice an email that you should have responded to, start to reply and horror! Remember your were running a bath! Before long the whole place is in chaos! You need to get organised!

We agreed that having a number of tasks on the go feels really stressful. A messy environment equals a messy mind and definitely leads to feelings of agitation and stress. It triggers the inner critic too and before long, you’re berating and beating yourself up, which is very bad for your confidence and leads to poor self-esteem.

Does this or variations of it sound familiar?

But what if I told you there’s a cure for this, that in addition, you will have a nice little release of Serotonin, the drug that promotes internal happiness? Every time we get a reward, the brain releases a small amount of dopamine. Dopamine, a molecule that sends signals from our brain, gives us a temporary sense of pleasure.

When we increase rewards they build up and we eventually get a shot of Serotonin which gives us a deeper, longer lasting sense of pleasure and happiness.

It’s simply a matter of retraining your mind and re-conditioning your behaviours and that’s easier than it might sound.

The positive psychology of Neurolinguistic Programming helps us to get organised and encourages us to ‘Put Systems In Place’ again, this is not as complicated as it sounds.

For example; always putting your front door keys in the same place, will ensure that you wont spend 10 minutes searching for them with the “I’m sure I put them there” lament! It’s a system.

American Author Alan Lakein created the following to get us more organised,  read on now to discover how you can bring structure and simple systems to your tasks.

Cull the Chaos


1. Make a list with no more than seven tasks on it. Write A,B,C or D beside each task in order of priority i.e. the most important jobs will have an A next to them, then B and so on.

2. Start the first A job and complete it. Do NOT move onto any other chore until this first task is completely finished. Then you have the small pleasure of putting a BIG tick beside it and crossing it off of the list, and that’s your first reward and remember a reward equals a shot of feel good dopamine.

3. RINSE AND REPEAT! Do this and you’ll get organised.

 

When I discovered that multi-tasking is a myth,  that something has to suffer when you attempt to do two things at once, I worked even harder to stick to the above system. In a relatively short period of time I retrained my brain and my approach to tasks and have become addicted to feeling good!

Yoga Retreat

Oh, I almost forgot, if you’re in need of a reset and would like to experience a deeper state of peace and tranquility, there’s good news and bad news. The bad news is we are now fully booked for the March 2024 Yoga retreat but the good news is that we do have a couple of spaces available on our weekday Yoga Retreat 12 – 14 June 2023.

It’s held in the beautiful space of Florence House in Sussex, suitable for beginners and experienced yogis alike. Please feel free to contact me for more information or questions.

Yoga / Qigong Classes – Last Friday of every month – Bromley

Finally,  alongside the weekly online yoga and meditation classes, I’m now offering an in-person Yoga/Qigong class on the last Friday of every month, in Bromley at a great spanking new venue that has a fabulous cafe serving quality food and drinks, it is in the beautiful green space of Norman Park and has free parking. Beginners welcome. Please get in touch with me by phone or email if you would like to know more.

 

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5 Tips To Deal With Christmas Stress

A GIFT FOR YOU

People often ask me how to deal with Stress at Christmas time and there are ways to cope, so read on…

But first things first. If you have been or are going to be a client, Yoga student or customer at my little shop at The Stresshacker, then THANK YOU! I really value your support and to show my appreciation I attach a small gift that has HUGE worth. You can unwrap it at the bottom of the page.A GIFT FOR YOU

Do You Find It Hard To Be Honest?

One of the reasons people struggle with stress is because they have difficulty in telling the truth. I’m not suggesting you’re a liar but do you find it challenging to be up front about the way you feel?

Let me give you an example, Martin dreaded the thought of spending the Christmas break with his family. Whilst he enjoyed Christmas day with his Mum, Dad and Sister, the thought of the wider festivities on Boxing day, filled him with horror.

Why? Martin is an introvert and finds it extremely uncomfortable to engage in crowds, family or not! He avoids social gatherings at work and with groups of friends for the same reason.
After some coaching, Martin became sufficiently comfortable to own his truth, that he would rather stick pins in his eyes than attend the family party!

He decided to honour his truth and explained his level of discomfort to his family. In his eyes, being with them on Christmas Eve and Christmas day was desirable, reasonable and for him, a compromise but he would not go to the party. Being firm in his decision formed part of his coaching.

The outcome was interesting, his mother found it hard to understand, as an extrovert and somewhat of a people pleaser she attempted some emotional blackmail with Martin, but he was prepared for this and stood firm.

It was made easier by the fact that his father (also an introvert but hadn’t realised it!) praised Martin for being forthright and wished he’d been able to do the same!

His sister also empathised and thought he was right to speak out. His mother didn’t really ‘get him’ but wanted all to be well and was happy to make excuses for him with the extended family, which of course was more her issue than his.

By being honest with himself first, Martin was able to explore what needed to happen to find Christmas a less stressful and happy occasion and to live a more congruent life.

If you’re struggling to be more up front you’ll find Assertive Empowerment Now an easy way to sharpen your skills, it’s a training download that I created, you can get yours here
Meanwhile here are 5 Tips To Deal With Christmas Stress

1. Give yourself Space. Create a short Mediation practice that takes you out of the situation into another room. Even 5 minutes  now and then will give you time to relax and reset.

2. Use the 6 Healing Sounds. This amazing little technique can cool a hot temper and soothe stress in seconds. It’s an ancient tried and tested Qigong practice that I have recorded for you as a gift.

3. Use the 6 Healing Sou…no only joking but really, it’s that good and all you’ll need to calm your stress. It will also help you if you suffer from insomnia.

4. Exercise. Get up and move! It’s a bad habit to sit for long periods of time. Take a short walk 20 minutes is fine. Or swing your arms up over your head and clap your hands together 50 times. Then hold onto a surface and swing one leg back and forth 50 times, repeat on the other side. Don’t take my word for the incredible benefits from this. Do it and see for yourself.

5. When the kids or family are driving you mad, HUM! Yes, Hum. Breathe in through the nose and feel the gentle vibration on your lips as you hum. When we get irritated and stressed we tend to hold our breath. Humming encourages letting go and  balanced breathing.

Open your gift here 

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Six Simple Steps To Self-Care

These tips for self-care will help towards achieving positive health and wellbeing. You’ve heard the expression ‘Charity begins at home,’  so does self-care. Let’s be honest if you can’t look after yourself and take an interest in your wellbeing, why should anyone else?

Successful people use simple mind hacks to boost their self-confidence while they sleep and feed their minds with personal development programmes and podcasts by day.

With the NHS creaking under pressure and GP appointments hard to come by, preventative steps to ensure our positive mental health and wellbeing  are more important than ever.

Tips for Self-Care

One Eastern approach to wellbeing is called Ayurveda, roughly translated as The Science of Life. I’ve loosely studied Ayurveda since 1984 by reading and attending courses but I feel as if I’ve just scratched the surface! It’s  a vast subject and one of the main things is to understand your constitution, also known as your doshic make-up.

A quiz can help you do this and it’s one of my favourite tips for taking better care of yourself so read on…

  1. Know yourself. Take the Dosha quiz here: Dosha Quiz
  2. As we move out of late summer, rethink your diet,  you’ll need to eat differently as the Autumn winds and damp weather take hold.  See my delicious recipe below.
  3. Keep negative thoughts at bay, use this  vibration meditation. Close your eyes, inhale slowly and on the exhale make the sound Mmmmmm. Feel the vibration on your lips and imagine it resounding around the inside of your brain. Do this for 3 minutes minimum. For a greater sense of calm try 7 or 21 minutes. It’s excellent if you suffer from insomnia,  obsessive thoughts and anxiety.
  4. Are you one of those people who feel irritated easily? Start the day with fresh lemon and warm water it’s cleansing for the liver and surprisingly, can calm your disposition.  If your digestion is feeling sluggish peel and slice fresh ginger, boil it and cool before drinking first thing in the morning. It feels very warming to the gut.
  5. If you have trouble sleeping, massage your hands and feet with warm sesame oil and go to bed wearing socks and light cotton gloves. Write down anything that could keep you awake . Make a list of all the things you have to do tomorrow, then forget about them until the morning. When there are things you need to get off of your chest, journal until you’re bored!
  6. Aim to bathe in nature at least once a week and preferably more often . Go for a walk in a park, woodland or  visit the seaside, blue and green are soothing for the soul.

Would you like to try a regular weekly online meditation class? 

I run a session at 8.30pm – 9.30pm on Wednesday evenings email me at sue@thestresshacker.com and I’ll send you details. Read some of the testimonies to hear what other’s say about it.

Recipe for Kitchari

Make the recipe below for yourself and see how nurturing it is. Let me know how you get on I love to hear your feedback.

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 cup basmati rice 1 cup mung dal (split yellow) I also use red lentils as I find them much easier to digest and quicker to cook.
  • Approximately 6 cups of water
    Roughly 1 inch of fresh ginger, chopped or grated – it really is easier to peel with a teaspoon!
  • ¼ teaspoon of rock salt
  • 1 tablespoon of ghee
    1/2 tsp. coriander powder
    1/2 tsp. cumin powder
    1/2 tsp. whole cumin seeds
    1/2 tsp. mustard seeds
    1/2 tsp. turmeric powder
    1 pinch asafoetida (hing)
  • It’s a bit of a faff measuring this out every time you make it,  I make it up in bulk and keep it in a jar and I tend to pulp it into a powder in a pestle and mortar (except the ginger and fresh coriander.)
  • A handful of freshly chopped coriander
  • A handful of  assorted vegetables ( these are optional)
  • Preparation – takes no time.

Cooking Instructions:

  1. Thoroughly wash your lentils in a sieve, make sure the water runs clear through them and leave to one side.
  2. Place a heavy bottomed saucepan on a high heat, when it’s hot, turn it down add the ghee, let it melt and throw your spices in (but NOT the fresh coriander) stir them into the ghee until the seeds pop (If you haven’t pulped them) Do NOT let it burn.
  3. Next add the washed lentils and coat them in the spicy ghee mixture, then cover until they become soft. (Check from time to time that it’s not burning and add a little more water if necessary.If you want more of a soup, add more water and don’t add rice. If you want a more substantial meal, add less water and add your vegetables for about 10 mins or less if you like them al dente.

    Note:
      If you’re adding some vegetables, wash and chop them into small chunks, you could use broccoli, courgettes, carrots, sweet potato, or some spinach or cabbage.
  4. Finally throw in a packet of 2 minute basmati rice (or a cupful that you might have already cooked) and stir in for 4 or 5 minutes.

In my opinion good cooking comes from tasting as you go along, after all you’ll be eating it so you’re the judge of it! If you’re feeling low or unwell, this is considered a ‘healing meal’ and is the perfect remedy for any body type or age group.  Enjoy!

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What? Having Trouble Sleeping?

Woman Struggling To Sleep

Mistakes That Stop You From Going To Sleep

Are you having trouble getting to sleep? You're not alone according to research a whopping 36% of UK adults struggle to get to sleep at least on a weekly basis. Almost 1 in 5 have trouble falling asleep every single night. Nearly half of the UK have trouble falling asleep at least once a month.

Woman Struggling To Sleep
Restless Sleep

Make a note of my  best sleep tips:

1. STOP STIMULATING YOURSELF!

One hour before bed STOP drinking, especially alcohol and anything with caffeine in.

STOP scrolling, watching TV, working on devices, and listening to the radio or podcasts. Even reading is a No No if you want to get to sleep and stay asleep.

2. START BEING SMART

This is what to do with that hour. Once or twice a week oil up! Especially if your skin is dry. Massage, using warm sesame oil. Cover your entire body gently massage your face, your ears, up your nose and in between your toes!  Allow the oil to soak in for 20 minutes, then have a warm bath or shower you will sleep so well.

Prepare: Get things ready for the next day during this hour. If there are things you feel you have to do, make a note of them before you go to sleep and decide to do them first thing in the morning.

Head trash? If you’re plagued with thoughts this is the best time for you to journal. Scribble it all down to empty out your mind.

Still awake? If you’re still obsessed with thoughts, sit upright, close your eyes and gently hum… feel the vibration on your lips as you exhale the hum - do this for 10 minutes it will help your mind to quieten and sleep to come.

Still can't sleep?  Why not? Write down the following sentence and then the next 50 things that come to mind. " I can't sleep because..." Let's face it, you're the expert on you and somewhere you know what the problem is - unearth it and deal with it!

3. AND DO THIS...

Are your feet cold at night? Massage warm sesame oil into your feet and put socks on - you'll sleep like a baby!

To show baby sleeping
Sleep Like A Baby

Meditate for 15 minutes. Sit upright ideally on a hardback chair. Close your eyes. Bring your awareness gently to your nostrils and follow each in breath, pause, exhalation  and the following pause... rinse and repeat.

Don't go to bed hungry or full, both get in the way of a good night's sleep. Exercise a little discipline and aim to stop eating and drinking after 7.00pm. Plan to eat aa more substantial lunch.

If you’ve missed out on sleep - Don’t nap, go to bed a bit earlier instead.

Set your alarm for no later than 7am. Don't play the alarm game... you're an adult! Get up and get on.

This is by far the best tip, go for a brisk 30 minute walk within two hours of waking up.

Download my Sleep Well Now programme and bundle for minimum effort.

The problem of poor sleep won't improve unless you do something different. These tips will help you to reset your sleep pattern and cultivate healthier night-time routines.

 

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The Mistakes of International Women’s Day

So here we are in International Women’s Day 3021 – yes you read that correctly – and the pay gap has finally balanced out. Well you’ve got to have a dream haven’t you?

You Said Mistakes, What Mistakes?

It’s Time For Balance

Just one of the mistakes is that in most countries there is still a substantial gender pay gap that according to some reports https://ourworldindata.org/economic-inequality-by-gender could take 100 years to balance out.

And lucky for you that you’re not female working in agriculture in rural India where they are purportedly underpaid by as much as 34%

Why should women work more and get paid less?

Want to know another mistake? It’s this, despite women collectively being at the forefront of the race to combat Covid-19 – we’re talking health care workers, scientists, doctors etc – globally they are still paid 11% less than the men in their fields.

Men, we  also need your voice here, to speak-up and speak-out for your female colleagues who are being  undervalued, undermined, underpaid and mistreated. We are your mothers, sisters and daughters, help us fight this worldwide  inequality.

How can you support International Women’s Day?

https://www.unwomen.org/en/news/in-focus/international-womens-day?gclid=Cj0KCQiAs5eCBhCBARIsAEhk4r6W3ecsZmAFPxC0IsL_WugloPqMg

Also on a local level you can help the women in your community by supporting their businesses. Aim to buy their products, use their services and recommend them to others. You can do this by sharing in social media and word of mouth.

Never tear down her Crown, always straighten it and champion each one another.

On a personal note self-care is a must check out my SCABTS in a past post… these are ways to take care of yourself.

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‘Open Heart Therapy Workshop’ Personal Development

Open Your Heart Therapy

In 2004 I ran my first personal development ‘Open Heart Therapy’ workshop and whilst successful, I sensed it was ahead of it’s time.Open Your Heart

So many people are saying it’s the right time for personal development and the success of last weeks Open Heart Therapy workshop proved it for me.   

But what does Open Your Heart even mean? As a therapist of 30 years I know too well how people shut down when they’re hurt. Whilst that’s no revelation, it is interesting to recognise that it’s the people closest to us who are capable of hurting us the most. 

It’s the friends, family, lovers and partners who we allow to get close, those who we open our hearts to  that we can feel most wounded by.

When we are honest and open-hearted  we can be vulnerable. If  betrayed and hurt in that space then naturally we lose faith and can be loathe to experience that again.

If you burn your hand when you put it into a fire, ouch! It hurts. You’d be crazy to do it again. The same kind of things happen when we’re hurt emotionally.

Fundamentally the heart is a pumping muscle  which can tighten and contract  like any other muscle in the body. With sufficient reason(s) to become restricted, it can metaphorically,  close down and because it’s a muscle it can’t  judge and can shut out people who haven’t hurt you.  

The consequences of emotional numbing in the heart  can have  the knock-on effect of deadening  passion in other areas  of life, we can feel drained have that “whats the point, who cares” type of thinking .

In addition, being emotionally blocked can also inhibit our ability to speak our truth openly and assertively.

This is because the energy centres above and below the heart are adversely affected.   We can feel weakened energetically, loose will-power and find it hard to fight addictions or stick to a healthy lifestyle. 

These are good enough reasons for personal development and attempts to heal the heart.

The thing is muscles need stretching and exercising and this is what my Open Heart Therapy workshop offers it aims to help you to move forward and heal the past if you’re ready. Are you ready for some personal development?

Testimonies:

“It totally met my objectives, mentally and physically.”
DB 12/02/2021
“It also made me very aware of the impact of parents’ behaviours on their children…Yes, would definitely recommend…”
NS 14/02/2021
“I’d like to say it was very good the workshop today, very beneficial and very well put together…I have already recommended it to other people!”
MF 12/02/2021
“It went really quickly – I would like to do it all over again!”
SB 15/02/2021

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Open It Now! It’s For You

How are you? It certainly feels like we’re being tested on so many levels in these changeable times.

I’m sure you know that among other things,  stress is a feeling of not being in control which can trigger all kinds of emotional, psychological and behavioural problems.

But how to deal with it? One of the main keys to dealing with stress is to develop flexibility so that we improve our bounce-ability factor and become resilient.

Dare I say the most flexible tree is the bamboo because of it’s ability to bend easily in the wind and then stand tall again.

How can we become more flexibile? Well I could say take up yoga, develop new hobbies, improve your way of thinking by listening to hypnotherapy programmes. But better still, find your own ways. 

Write down 10 things you could do to become more flexible mentally and physically.

Along with sending you my good wishes for the holiday period I want to offer a couple of approaches to help manage stress, anxiety and any other difficult feelings.

A Christmas Gift For You
 
Please do the exercise, as it’s experiential, it will only that will take about 7 minutes of your life and it may prove valuable. Try it now.

1. Sit somewhere away from distractions and close your eyes.
2. Repeat the following words to yourself silently and mentally.
“Be” “Just Be” repeat this periodically until you find your breathing slowing and a sense of quietness beginning to emerge.

You might find the next bit challenging and counter intuitive on one level but just go with it.

3. Invite the negative thought/feeling/emotion into the quieter space by simply saying “I welcome…       (anxiety, frustration, sadness, headache, stomach churning or whatever.)

4. Imagine them as an unexpected, slightly unwanted guest who’s arrived at your door but your good  manners dictate that you’re going to invite them in anyway!

5. When you’ve repeated ” I welcome” let’s say anxiety in, notice where it lives. Do you feel it in your chest? Or stomach for example.

Don’t get lost in the thought or feeling and don’t get too involved, stay mildly detached, you’re merely observing it.

6. After a few minutes of this, welcome in the opposite feeling/emotion/thought. So you might then say silently “I welcome peace and calmness” again repeating it several times.

Notice what peace and calmness feel like and where these feelings sit in your body.

Another odd thing to suggest but do it anyway…

7. Begin to move back and forth between the words  “I welcome anxiety and tension” then “I welcome peace, calmness and tranquility”

8. Finally after doing that for a couple of minutes, imagine you can step back away from the opposites and repeat silently “Be” “Just Be”

Let me know how that works for you.

The second gift I would like to offer is a free mind/body training that will lead to a more relaxed in control you.Download it and practise it until you’re able to do it anywhere anytime on your own. It’s my gift to you along with my fervent wishes that you be well and happy.

It’s a tried and tested method that with repetition will give you a greater sense of control in your world.

https://www.thestresshacker.com/product/relax-autogenic-relaxation-response-program/

Oh and if you fancy listening to an interview I gave earlier in the year about finding your purpose check it out here:

https://www.hotflushrebels.com/optin1597304230526