Winter marks the deepest expression of Yin energy. It’s the coldest, darkest, and most inward‑turning time of the year—a season when nature naturally contracts, rests, and conserves its strength. Spiritually, this is the time to follow nature’s lead: to slow down, soften your pace, and allow stillness to become part of your daily rhythm. It is not the time for exertion or for pushing ourselves headlong into new goals.
YIN ENERGY
The Water Element: Spiritual Meaning and Emotional Flow
In Qigong and traditional Chinese philosophy, winter corresponds to the water element, which governs the kidneys and bladder. Water represents wisdom, adaptability, and the ability to flow with life. When our energy is balanced, Water moves freely—calm, deep, and steady.
But when we push ourselves too hard during winter—overworking, under‑resting, or ignoring the body’s need for quiet—the Water element is said to “freeze.” Spiritually, this shows up as:
*a sense of fragility or overwhelm
* increased worry and heightened fear
* difficulty trusting the flow of life
These emotional shifts are indicators that our inner reserves are being depleted.
The Science Behind Winter Fatigue and Kidney Energy
Modern physiology supports many of these ancient observations:
• The kidneys regulate fluid balance, blood pressure, and stress hormones. When we’re overtired or chronically stressed, the kidneys and adrenal glands work harder, which can leave us feeling drained or anxious.
• Cold weather increases metabolic demand. The body uses more energy to stay warm, so rest becomes even more essential.
• Reduced daylight affects the brain. Lower sunlight reduces serotonin and increases melatonin, making us naturally more tired and more reflective.
• The nervous system shifts toward conservation. Winter encourages a parasympathetic (rest‑and‑digest) state—if we allow it.
The ancient idea of “protecting kidney energy” aligns beautifully with what science tells us about managing stress, sleep, and hormonal balance during the colder months.
Live in Harmony With Winter and take her invitation to :
• rest more deeply. Relaxation and Yoga Nidra
• sleep longer
• take naps without guilt
• keep warm and protect the lower back/kidney area
• choose reflective activities like meditation, journaling, reading, or gentle Qigong
• move slowly and intentionally
• conserve energy rather than scatter it
Winter is a season for replenishment, not overexertion. The above practices support both the spiritual flow of water and the scientific need for restoration.
Water freezes to ice
When Water Freezes Within Us
If we ignore winter’s call to slow down, we risk draining our reserves. In traditional language, the water element becomes icy—rigid instead of being fluid and flowing. In modern terms, this looks like:
Finally, we can benefit from reflection, consider what you want to leave behind and what has a place in the new year. It’s a great time of year to consider rebuilding your self-esteem and boosting your confidence with hypnotherapy. Reading, journaling, drawing and mind mapping are great creative pursuits at this time of year.
According to TCM (Traditional Chinese medicine) the ears are linked to the kidneys so this is a good time to listen in, change channels and hear your own inner wisdom from within.
Think of the moon bringing light into the darkness, you’ll benefit from longer deeper meditations that will likely bring enlightenment and “ah ha” moments of clarity. This is a great time for creative thinking (not doing) that will help shape the year ahead.
Keep an eye out for my Spring is the Perfect Season to Start Anew blog at the end of winter.
Monday 22nd September saw the Autumn Equinox arrive and bid a final farewell to summer. Some of you might be feeling a little sad at this prospect and with good reason but more of that later.
I might be stating the obvious when I say that now is a good time to wear warmer clothes, layers, scarves and hats but many years ago I couldn’t stand the autumn or winter and I found walking my lovely dog a chore.
I couldn’t quite let go of the notion that summer had gone and there I was stupidly still mincing around in summer clothes and sandals.
Nature is Peace
A dog is guaranteed to get you out in nature.
Once I sorted out my clothing and made a point of having a hearty breakfast before I took her out, I began to love being out in nature in all weathers and it’s where I find peace.
Finding ways to adjust and to be in sync with the changing seasons is more important for our mental health and wellbeing than we may realise.
According to TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) adapting our diet and keeping areas like the neck and kidneys warm, is essential to build a strong immune system – and to be able to head into the colder winter months feeling strong, healthy and mentally robust.
In autumn and winter many of us will find that the energy necessary to eat raw foods, salads etc outweighs the benefits. Instead a simple shift to eating warm foods like porridge, soups, broths, stews and drinking more warm drinks will help ward off colds and flu’s and go toward a stronger constitution.
Eating white foods in autumn such as pears, (cooked for some of us) radishes, porridge, butter beans (they’re great spiced up) onions etc help fortify the lung and large intestine energies.
The lungs are affected by grief and sorrow and this time of year we can witness many endings, the end of summer, the end of leaves on the trees, and temporary end of growth in nature around us. In addition, the impending shorter, darker days can feel make us feel sad and gloomy, consequently we may feel more tearful and weepy around this time. Here’s a bit of research on lungs and grief.
Given that acceptance is a big part of the healing process.
Accepting that we feel weepy and allowing ourselves quiet time to do just that and have a good cry can help purge the feeling and then we can get on with helping ourselves to feel better ,with it out of the way. Suppressing emotions, usually means they will bubble up somewhere else when we least expect it.
Autumn does have her gifts though. When we strengthen our lungs such as in a good yoga or qigong practice that involves opening and contracting the chest, we facilitate the process of ‘letting go’ which is a form of purging stagnant energy.
Repetition Builds Muscles
Much like decluttering your home, it feels good to make space in the lungs for new energy. A fresh supply of Qi can literally change your state both mentally and emotionally.
Another helpful way to declutter emotionally is to journal and write therapy letters. This time of year is brilliant to release old hurts and resentments. Write a letter to whoever you are harbouring a resentment, or grudge toward and let rip, then see if you’ve any room for forgiveness. For more tips and a really funny skit about clutter check this out on thestresshacker.com
Remember of course that forgiveness does not condone someone’s behaviour or actions.
It takes courage to forgive people who have hurt you and taking some of the above steps to strengthen your lungs will give you courage to confront issues and find ways to move forward.
Finally the autumn is a good time to end projects, tie up those loose ends, clear the clutter and generally begin to decelerate in life, it’s okay to take longer baths, get into bed with a good book earlier and give yourself a lot of loving and self-care.
As usual you will also find a huge supply of self-help audio programmes in the shop here and a few yoga classes here.
So wrap up, eat well, exercise, get out in nature and nurture yourself.
A few years ago I was teaching yoga in a local gym, when a student approached me seeking guidance on managing her anxiety. She asked which specific yoga poses could help her. Curiously, I inquired about her daily practice, only to learn that she felt too anxious to practice at all.
The purpose of any discipline, be it prayer, meditation, Yoga, or Qigong, is to connect with your inner self. This connection taps into an unwavering, peaceful presence that resides within you. By establishing a regular practice, ideally daily, it becomes easier to access this infinite source of calm.
The long-term benefits are profound. When you cultivate a sense of stillness and peace, it feels like returning home to a place you instinctively know you belong. You can carry this sense of calm with you as you navigate life’s journey.
Of course, as humans, we will still experience feelings of sadness, anger, and depression. Acknowledging these emotions is essential; they are part of the human experience. However, your practice allows you to move through these feelings more quickly. Embrace them after all, they are real and valid. With your discipline in place, you’re more likely to remain more positive as you move through the challenges of your day.
Can you take seven to ten minutes every day?
When you care enough about yourself to commit to a short time every day for your practice – whether that’s running, martial arts, or chanting – it becomes easier to remain centred, react less to external triggers, feel generally stronger and feel more in control of your life.
What you experience in your practice is eventually translated into every area of your life. For example, in the ancient art of Qigong, we learn to move slowly with relaxed breathing and in time we approach all our daily activities in the same way, thus gaining some self-mastery.
Over time we develop resilience as we realise that emotions are fluid; nothing stays the same forever, including how you feel in any given moment. Whilst we can’t escape illness, loss and life changing events we’re able to handle them in a more robust way.
Your Practice as an Anchor
Consider your practice as an anchor during life’s storms. Whilst many external circumstances are often beyond our control, building a daily routine fosters a sense of balance and inner strength that will serve you well throughout life.
Just before lockdown I started my teacher training in Qigong which I’ve added to my regular yoga practice. I cannot sing it’s praises more highly; it is a remarkable practice and there is a huge body of scientific evidence to prove its efficacy.
It’s an easy practice to learn… you just have to keep practising.
YOGA AND QIGONG
If you would like to experience some of the wonderful benefits of Qigong. I am holding a mini-Yoga and Qigong Summer Retreat in a beautiful setting in Bromley, Kent. Contact me at sue@thestresshacker.com for more information.
Hum doesn’t matter what tune or whether or not you’re in tune, just hum it’s an easy fix to feeling calm.
Stroke your neck from your left ear to your right collar bone hand over hand, then from right ear to the left collar bone, finally stroke from your chin down to the little u bend at the base of your neck.
Put an ice-pack on the nape of your neck for one-to-two minutes.
Gargle ’till you gag. Use Himalyan salts if you can get them and gargle robustly for a good couple of minutes until your gag reflex is triggered.
Learn how to belly breathe it’s a life saver in stressful situations. To be able to change your state by moving into deeper belly breathing offers us a sense of control in challenging situations.
It’s all to do with resetting your vagus nerve
This net-like nerve pretty much travels the length of your torso from your 12th cranial nerve to your gut. Apply some of the mind body wellbeing hacks above and you’ll feel in control again. It will move away from anxiety toward self-confidence.
Mind body hacks were used as far back as 12th century. Techniques such as the Inner Smile Meditation were used to give subtle messages to the major organs in the body that all is well. Cool, simply by smiling and connecting with them we start to feel great.
Light Heart Chimes with Wellbeing and Nature
Now it might sound daft to smile and connect with your heart, but if you want to live in harmony, know that the heart is the Emperor of the emotions. Stop and think about that for a moment and you’ll know it’s true. When you feel sad, angry, fearful, happy or loving you experience those feelings from your heart.
***FREE GIFT***
It stands to reason then that we should look after the heart. With this in mind I made a gift for you. It’s my version of The Inner Smile Meditation. Download it free here in the shop or listen to it on my YouTube channel. Once you’re familiar with it you can do it yourself EVERYday to trigger a healthy mind body connection. Let me know what you think of it.
Smile with your heart, smile with your eyes let the light in and spread the love.
Yoga and Qigong Classes
Learn Qigong and Yoga for flexibility and longevity.
If you’d like to join me in exploring more mind body hacks, I run an in-person Yoga and Qigong class in Bromley on the last Friday of every month and online weekly. You’ll love how you feel afterwards. Beginners are welcome you only need to bring your mind and body.
As we move into the colourful season of Autumn, this is the right time to strengthen your defences and protect yourself by reinforcing your shield.
According to Qigong and Traditional Chinese Medicine, there is a protective force known as the Wei Qi (could be called the immune system too.) The yang energy flows on the outer layers of muscle and skin and controls the opening and closing of the pores that regulate temperature and sweating, this is the shield that helps you to protect yourself.
Protect yourself and strengthen your field to shield you from external pathogens and internal pathogens.
Protect and Shield Yourself
Obvious external pathogens are colds, flu’s and viruses but it may surprise you to know that internal pathogens are things like negative emotions and unhealthy thought patterns, we’re talking FAGS! fear, anger, guilt and shame. Banish those yucky emotions.
Since Autumn is a time of letting go and Mother Earth, is shedding layers and dying off, it’s actually quite normal to experience sadness and grief, weepy and low at this time of year.
As we say goodbye to the summer joys and all it’s warmth and prepare for the cold dark winter days ahead it can feel like grieving.
Other internal pathogens are poor attachments in the form of bad habits or addictions that can return with a vengeance as we reach for unhealthy comforts. When you lose your drive and feel rudderless this is also a call to action to strengthen and protect yourself.
So how do we combat this and strengthen our immunity? Luckily there are many ways, heres’ a few.
Keep Warm. A simple common sense approach to the changing seasons, such as protecting your body – especially neck/throat area – from wind and cold will help you. Plainly put, you’ve got to start wearing those extra layers even if that big yellow thing is still shining in the sky!
Disicipline. Find whatever way works for you but knuckle down and do some regular exercise, whether it’s jogging, an aerobic class, yoga or Qigong get into something that you can practice for a short time each day, ideally working up a sweat. By the way don’t wash the sweat off for at least 1/2 an hour because when you allow it to soak into the pores you strengthen your Wei Qi and that’s your shield.
Nourishment. Ideally eat food that’s in season and nutrient rich with a variety of fruit, veg, nuts and seeds – the gut biome likes that! If you don’t know how to get your act together on the food front contact a good nutritionist
Stress Free. Reduce stress by practising relaxation techniques or listen to any of the programmes such as Yoga Nidra available in the shop here at thestresshacker.com .
Sleep Well.Aim for seven to eight hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. Get into a routine, avoid visual stimulus for at least a couple of hours before you turn in. Clear your mind by writing a list of everything you have to do tomorrow and rise early to address your list.
Boundaries. Look at your boundaries make a note of who pushes them, or where and when your own boundaries weaken and you reach for your ‘fix’. Make a conscious decision to address them by writing out the ways you can deal with your boundary pushers for example learning assertive skills. Make an alternative plan to avoid the people, situations, times and triggers that make you want to use your comforters, consider other ways to handle this.
Know Yourself Better. In order to establish good clear boundaries, it’s important to know yourself. One simple way to do this is to journal daily. Just write a couple of pages either last thing at night or first thing in the morning before you get up. No rules, just write whatever comes out… over time you’ll see a pattern emerge. Noticing this can help you start addressing the things that get in the way of you feeling strong and you’ll be able to help yourself.
Finally, if you struggle with any of the above enlist some experts and get a wellbeing team behind you. Go and see a homeopath, get some acupuncture to boost your immune system and clear stagnation. Find a life-coach or therapist to work through your mental and emotional blocks and lastly set clear goals and then practice being present i.e meditation and mindfulness.
If you’re looking for a yoga and Qigong class, drop me a line meaI look forward to hearing your thoughts on taking steps to protect yourself.
As this year comes to a close and we move into the darkest most quiet time of the year give yourself permission to sleep longer, nap more often and generally hibernate. In this way you will emerge into spring withmore verve and energy.
5 Top Tips for Surviving Winter
Keep your lower back warm. Kidneys and adrenals appreciate the warmth. Wear an additional layer around your hips, perhaps a thick warm scarf. Use a warmed wheat bag on your lower back if you’re sitting for long periods of time.
Keep hydrated with warm drinks – try the winter drink recipe if you think you’re going down with a cold.
We’re closest to Mother Earth at this time and as such a time for reflection, write down what lessons you learned in 2023, what you don’t want to repeat and what you’d like more of.
If you’re too sedentary get up and Shake The Tree. Stretch up onto tip toes and raise arms and hands above your head with interlinked fingers. Make the sound Aaaah as you bring your arms down by your sides. Rinse and repeat.
Finally, develop a strong building block by improving the quality of your sleep. Turn all technology OFF and leave it out of the bedroom. If you ruminate a lot, then write your thoughts down before you go to bed. A warm bath/shower an hour before bedtime and when your body begins to feel chilly that’s your body’s way of telling you it’s bedtime.
People often ask me how to deal with Stress at Christmas time and there areways to cope, so read on…
But first things first. If you have been or are going to be a client, Yoga student or customer at my little shop at The Stresshacker, thenTHANK YOU!I really value your support and to show my appreciation I attach a small gift that has HUGE worth. You can unwrap it at the bottom of the page.
Do You Find It Hard To Be Honest?
One of the reasons people struggle with stress is because they have difficulty in telling the truth. I’m not suggesting you’re a liar but do you find it challenging to be up front about the way you feel?
Let me give you an example, Martin dreaded the thought of spending the Christmas break with his family. Whilst he enjoyed Christmas day with his Mum, Dad and Sister, the thought of the wider festivities on Boxing day, filled him with horror.
Why? Martin is an introvert and finds it extremely uncomfortable to engage in crowds, family or not! He avoids social gatherings at work and with groups of friends for the same reason.
After some coaching, Martin became sufficiently comfortable to own his truth, that he would rather stick pins in his eyes than attend the family party!
He decided to honour his truth and explained his level of discomfort to his family. In his eyes, being with them on Christmas Eve and Christmas day was desirable, reasonable and for him, a compromise but he would not go to the party. Being firm in his decision formed part of his coaching.
The outcome was interesting, his mother found it hard to understand, as an extrovert and somewhat of a people pleaser she attempted some emotional blackmail with Martin, but he was prepared for this and stood firm.
It was made easier by the fact that his father (also an introvert but hadn’t realised it!) praised Martin for being forthright and wished he’d been able to do the same!
His sister also empathised and thought he was right to speak out. His mother didn’t really ‘get him’ but wanted all to be well and was happy to make excuses for him with the extended family, which of course was more her issue than his.
By being honest with himself first, Martin was able to explore what needed to happen to find Christmas a less stressful and happy occasion and to live a more congruent life.
If you’re struggling to be more up front you’ll find Assertive Empowerment Now an easy way to sharpen your skills, it’s a training download that I created, you can get yours here Meanwhile here are 5 Tips To Deal With Christmas Stress
1. Give yourself Space. Create a short Mediation practice that takes you out of the situation into another room. Even 5 minutes now and then will give you time to relax and reset.
2. Use the 6 Healing Sounds. This amazing little technique can cool a hot temper and soothe stress in seconds. It’s an ancient tried and tested Qigong practice that I have recorded for you as a gift.
3. Use the 6 Healing Sou…no only joking but really, it’s that good and all you’ll need to calm your stress. It will also help you if you suffer from insomnia.
4. Exercise. Get up and move! It’s a bad habit to sit for long periods of time. Take a short walk 20 minutes is fine. Or swing your arms up over your head and clap your hands together 50 times. Then hold onto a surface and swing one leg back and forth 50 times, repeat on the other side. Don’t take my word for the incredible benefits from this. Do it and see for yourself.
5. When the kids or family are driving you mad, HUM! Yes, Hum. Breathe in through the nose and feel the gentle vibration on your lips as you hum. When we get irritated and stressed we tend to hold our breath. Humming encourages letting go and balanced breathing.
Whilst we’ve been fortunate enough to enjoy the warmer weather, don’t be fooled by it, as late summer yields fully into Autumn the way we take care of ourselves now, will dictate whether we have a cosy winter or one fully of colds and allergies.
As the leaves become crispy, dry out and fall to the ground, so will we unless we take sensible, self-care steps. Have a browse through my self-help tips to nurture yourself through to Winter and let me know how you get on.
My Top 10 Autumn Tips:
Whilst we cling to the last of the late summer sunshine, remember that the air can be cold and drying, consider adding foods to your diet that are the opposite of cold, drying and still. Think of foods that are warm, stimulating and pungent such as garlic, onions, chives, black pepper, ginger, cayenne pepper, horseradish and mustards.
Start the day with warm teas, slice some fresh ginger bring to the boil and cool to drink.Finish the day with a cosy cup of warm milk with a pinch of black pepper, a 1/4 teaspoon of turmeric and a little honey. It will give you a great night’s sleep.
Although it’s a great time for clearing out your clutter e.g. look at the sell by dates in your kitchen cupboards and take your unwanted items to the local donation hub or charity shop, it’s a bad time to set yourself up with big goals or deadlines.
Autumn is a time of death, a letting go of things that no longer serve us.
Instead, take the pressure off and slip slowly into the winter months by considering the equal and opposite; for example Autumn is chilly, blustery, with wind whipping up the leaves in swirls, do the opposite, take time to be still, create small spaces of quiet time to read and relax. It’s a great time to reintroduce the practice of meditation. Take time to bathe in nature, wrap up warm and sit in your local park or take a slow quiet meditative walk.
Emotionally this is again a good time for letting go of resentments and grudges. Remember though, that forgiving those who have hurt you, doesn’t necessarily mean that you allow them back into your life. It does mean however that you can practice letting go by writing a therapy letters, journalling and even saying out loud “ I forgive you so-and-so for… blah blah …” It really works, but don’t take my word for it, try it yourself!
As well as being a good time of year for clearing out, it’s also a great time for creating clear boundaries. Are there people who don’t respect your boundaries? Take some time to consider how you will establish the boundaries, think about what you might need to do or say in this respect, so that you’re clear on how to move forward.
As natural as it is for the leaves fall from the branches at this time of year, it’s all a good time to let the tears fall, go on, give yourself permission to let it go. You’ll likely find when you create time and the right environment, emotions will surface, especially sadness. Allow them space as this is the perfect time to release and clear space.
As a yoga teacher I encourage the clearing of energy blocks in the body. As we practice bending, stretching, twisting, using breath and visualisation to release tension, it brings a sense of freedom and space. In this way we don’t somatise our ‘stuff’ or push our emotions even deeper into the body’s systems and organs. So don’t be rigid, bend and stretch daily. It’s one of the reasons that students feel so good after a yoga class.
Now is the time to use more oils and balms to massage into dry skin. Try warmed sesame oil rubbed into your feet or Vick rubbed into the soles of the feet, pop a pair of socks on and sleep like a baby!
I’m going to share a secret, the best oils and balms come from Urbanveda and they have given a generous discount especially for thestresshacker readers! So grab your discount on their fabulous products here thestresshacker20 . Also when you place an order they plant a tree!
Try This Autumn Meditation
Sit in an upright chair, close your eyes and allow your awareness to move down to your chest ……. allow yourself a little time to tune into the quiet rhythm of your breathing …….. then allow the breath to drop a little deeper down into your abdomen ……. and simply enjoy the deep sense of calm and relaxation that diaphragmatic abdominal breathing brings.
Rest here a while as you observe the miracle of life force and energy moving in and out of your body without you having to do anything at all.
These tips for self-care will help towards achieving positive health and wellbeing. You’ve heard the expression ‘Charity begins at home,’ so does self-care. Let’s be honest if you can’t look after yourself and take an interest in your wellbeing, why should anyone else?
Successful people use simple mind hacks to boost their self-confidence while they sleep and feed their minds with personal development programmes and podcasts by day.
With the NHS creaking under pressure and GP appointments hard to come by, preventative steps to ensure our positive mental health and wellbeing are more important than ever.
Tips for Self-Care
One Eastern approach to wellbeing is called Ayurveda, roughly translated as The Science of Life. I’ve loosely studied Ayurveda since 1984 by reading and attending courses but I feel as if I’ve just scratched the surface! It’s a vast subject and one of the main things is to understand your constitution, also known as your doshic make-up.
A quiz can help you do this and it’s one of my favourite tips for taking better care of yourself so read on…
Know yourself. Take the Dosha quiz here: Dosha Quiz
As we move out of late summer, rethink your diet, you’ll need to eat differently as the Autumn winds and damp weather take hold. See my delicious recipe below.
Keep negative thoughts at bay, use this vibration meditation. Close your eyes, inhale slowly and on the exhale make the sound Mmmmmm. Feel the vibration on your lips and imagine it resounding around the inside of your brain. Do this for 3 minutes minimum. For a greater sense of calm try 7 or 21 minutes. It’s excellent if you suffer from insomnia, obsessive thoughts and anxiety.
Are you one of those people who feel irritated easily? Start the day with fresh lemon and warm water it’s cleansing for the liver and surprisingly, can calm your disposition. If your digestion is feeling sluggish peel and slice fresh ginger, boil it and cool before drinking first thing in the morning. It feels very warming to the gut.
If you have trouble sleeping, massage your hands and feet with warm sesame oil and go to bed wearing socks and light cotton gloves. Write down anything that could keep you awake . Make a list of all the things you have to do tomorrow, then forget about them until the morning. When there are things you need to get off of your chest, journal until you’re bored!
Aim to bathe in nature at least once a week and preferably more often . Go for a walk in a park, woodland or visit the seaside, blue and green are soothing for the soul.
Would you like to try a regular weekly online meditation class?
I run a session at 8.30pm – 9.30pm on Wednesday evenings email me at sue@thestresshacker.com and I’ll send you details. Read some of the testimonies to hear what other’s say about it.
Recipe for Kitchari
Make the recipe below for yourself and see how nurturing it is. Let me know how you get on I love to hear your feedback.
Ingredients:
1/2 cup basmati rice 1 cup mung dal (split yellow) I also use red lentils as I find them much easier to digest and quicker to cook.
Approximately 6 cups of water
Roughly 1 inch of fresh ginger, chopped or grated – it really is easier to peel with a teaspoon!
It’s a bit of a faff measuring this out every time you make it,I make it up in bulk and keep it in a jar and I tend to pulp it into a powder in a pestle and mortar (except the ginger and fresh coriander.)
A handful of freshly chopped coriander
A handful ofassorted vegetables ( these are optional)
Preparation – takes no time.
Cooking Instructions:
Thoroughly wash your lentils in a sieve, make sure the water runs clear through them and leave to one side.
Place a heavy bottomed saucepan on a high heat, when it’s hot, turn it down add the ghee, let it melt and throw your spices in (but NOT the fresh coriander) stir them into the ghee until the seeds pop (If you haven’t pulped them) Do NOT let it burn.
Next add the washed lentils and coat them in the spicy ghee mixture, then cover until they become soft. (Check from time to time that it’s not burning and add a little more water if necessary.If you want more of a soup, add more water and don’t add rice. If you want a more substantial meal, add less water and add your vegetables for about 10 mins or less if you like them al dente.
Note:If you’re adding some vegetables, wash and chop them into small chunks, you could use broccoli, courgettes, carrots, sweet potato, or some spinach or cabbage.
Finally throw in a packet of 2 minute basmati rice (or a cupful that you might have already cooked) and stir in for 4 or 5 minutes.
In my opinion good cooking comes from tasting as you go along, after all you’ll be eating it so you’re the judge of it! If you’re feeling low or unwell, this is considered a ‘healing meal’ and is the perfect remedy for any body type or age group. Enjoy!
Going back to work after lockdown will have it’s challenges for sure. Because there’s a tendency in life to cling to the familiar, to feel safe and secure, change can feel threatening. Are there steps we can take to feel more in control and stress free after lockdown?
Read on for some suggestions on how to make your re-integration as stress free and smooth as possible.
Indeed let’s also remember, that whilst the more extrovert among us may be excited at the prospect of returning to work and re-engaging with an audience, other’s may well dread the return to work for that very reason! Just the act of interacting with gregarious
Stress-free and ready to go!
colleagues can be draining, anxiety provoking and far from stress-free for those with more introvert tendencies.
Rather than worrying about what might happen, aim instead, to discover how to ring fence yourself and reduce the risk to your mental health and emotional wellbeing.
Write a personal risk assessment and find stress-free solutions for your particular situation. Have a look at some of my suggestions below
You may wonder, can there be certainty in such uncertain times?
Perhaps a level of acceptance is a better state to aim for than a sense of certainty because we are in a state of flux and futures are uncertain for many of us.
Yet the fact remains, we want to feel in control and there is so much in life that we have no control over, the sooner we accept this, become flexible and adapt, the less stressful life will be.
Stress-free and back in control
How can we handle the stress of not having control? In this link I explain the Circle of Influence and Circle of Control a tool that facilitates the discovery of personal ways to feel empowered and stress-free.
In fact, something as simple as learning a gentle breathing technique can quell a rising panic allowing you to regain self-control in the middle of a meeting or on the train going to work.
Before returning to work make a list of some of the things you are in control of.
Below are some tips about how to stay stress free after lockdown.
1. Consistent Clear Communication
This might be expressing to your line manager/supervisor/boss that you’re struggling with an aspect of the return to work. If you find it difficult to verbalise, write a private and confidential email outlining your concerns.
Likewise where possible, suggest one or two solutions to the problem you’ve identified, such as split working from home/office. Changing hours or asking for clarity on the troubling issue.
This way you take both the problem and the solution to your boss, who may also be struggling with issues.
2. Listen to yourself first
Your body will give you very clear signals of discomfort and distress if you tune-in and listen.
Try this, a minimum of 5 minutes quiet time each day can be enough to pick up on a tightened chest, or a churning stomach. If your body is light and buoyant all is well. Feelings of heaviness, constriction are not good signs, what do you think that’s telling you?
Pay attention to these feelings and aim to explore and address the issue causing these problems, talk them through with a trusted friend, colleague or engage a therapist or coach.
We know that there is a global collective grieving at this time but what we don’t know is who is grieving, or what or whom has been lost. It could be a loved one, a job or an income. Never has there been more of a need for kindness, compassion and understanding.
3. Listen and be prepared for emotion
Besides listening, know that we can’t fix other people’s stuff so don’t even try! What you can do is offer people time and space to listen, really listen and it’s one of the kindest gifts we can give another. Even identical twins suffering the same loss will experience their bereavement differently, so we should never presume to know what someone is feeling or when.
It’s much easier to ask them, “How are you?” and then listen, you may pick up the signal immediately that they do not want to talk about it or maybe if you stay quiet for just that tiny bit longer, they will share something with you.
Again, prepare yourself to be uncomfortably comfortable in the face of emotion. People who you least expect to be emotional may break down and cry in your presence. Be with them, hold the space for them and resist the temptation to hand them tissues, put an arm around them or placate them with platitudes.
Consequently they are more likely to benefit and recover quickly if you don’t react in this way. That’s empathy and compassion and can help them enormously.
4. Find Your Balance
Aim for balance and work out how you can achieve that? What do you need to do to re-energise? Do you need to stop and give yourself a short break to move around for example? Are you the type of person who needs to eat a little and often to keep your energy high? Are you sipping any water regularly? Is your head feeling hot? Perhaps you need to take the EarPods out of your ears to give them a rest.
Make a list of resources you need to keep with you to help you to feel balanced and in control.
5. Ask yourself good quality questions
“What do I want. What do I need to feel more balanced now?” Listen to your response, that’s your prescription, your wisdom so why not take your own advice!
6. Work Smarter
Because many people will be returning to a backlog of work and since multi-tasking has been debunked, avoid that! Instead aim to spend longer at the outset and create a clear plan of action.
Besides prioritising tasks with a simple A,B,C,D method which will quickly provide order, you’ll also have a more realistic view of your workload. This will give you greater sense of control. You will also be in a better position to manage your expectations and communicate your position to colleagues or staff.
7. Set Realistic Goals
In addition to creating a schedule of work, aim to set small pragmatic goals. In your planning phase work out roughly how long each task will take, block that time out in your diary/calendar with the time span. This keeps goals realistic, also schedule in short breaks, to stand up and stretch, have a comfort break or a drink.
As a result of utilising steps 6 and 7 you offer yourself an opportunity to validate your efforts and recognise your achievements. In this way you’re not waiting around for someone else to pat you on the back. Say ‘Well done” and reward your good behaviour with a treat. A luxurious bath, a walk with a friend or carving out some time to read a book.
8. It’s OK to say No
Furthermore practice saying a good, clear No try saying it out loud now! You can be pleasant but firm when you say No. “No, I already have more than I can realistically handle” No I simply do not have the available time. No, it’s not my responsibility, I cannot take that on” Get used to that word in your mouth and throat.
In fact I often have clients’ practice saying No in front of a mirror in as many different tones and volumes as possible. Add to this good body language, such as a firm hand extended away from your chest with a big “No” should you need to communicate your position more clearly, will speak volumes.
9. Connect At Your Own Pace
You’re either itching to get back out with friends and family or feel the need to connect slowly.
First it’s your business is to know what you want and need. Secondly negotiate with yourself to establish what feels right and manageable for you. Thirdly practice out loud explaining to your friends and family how you need to proceed and see how you can arrive at a workable compromise between their expectations and yours.
10. Recognition And Validation
Finally, Be Your Own Cheerleader. Just be kind and loving to yourself. You will get the best from yourself by being supportive and gently encouraging. Watch out for the inner critic, sack your ‘Judge’ and pump up the volume on your balanced assertive adult self!
There is no ‘right’ way to do this only the way that is right for you, so aim to honour and respect your needs and keep your communication honest clear and consistent.
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Your Practice as an Anchor
