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Menopause Made Easier

Menopausal Mad Witch Hag Crone!

There, I’ve said it these are some of the charming names attributed to women experiencing menopause. Women who have reached a stage in their lives where they are no longer able to bear children.  Names mainly levied on us by the patriarch of the past.

The reality of course is that Women are wise and when we realise that pretty much everything that walks the planet is born of woman, we are in fact Creators, Goddesses even.

When we consider the pain and suffering women endure to give birth to humanity, shouldn’t women be honoured, respected and revered at every stage of life?Menopause Made Easier - Sue Smith, The Stresshacker blog

Some stories portray the crone or hag as disagreeable, malicious, or sinister often with magical or supernatural abilities that can make her either helpful or obstructive. Well that’s pretty much true of all of us really, men and women.

And as if creating, birthing, nurturing and child rearing isn’t enough, woman have the menopause to look forward to with it’s myriad of symptoms.

There are hot flushes, dryness, sleep problems, excessive tiredness.  Oh and then there’s the rapid mood swings, along with that wonderful feeling that your brain matter has been swapped for a cauldron of cotton wool!

Want to know about more symptoms? Google NHS menopause for more information.

Because so many of you have asked me  to write about the menopause what I offer you here are my tips and beliefs for dealing with this phase of life.

It’s a time for cleansing on many levels and clearing out the crap!

Many women at this stage realise that they can no longer live incongruently or out of sync with themselves, it just doesn’t work anymore.

People, jobs, gatherings and even friends that were tolerated in the past have no place during the menopause.

Maybe the description of Crone as disagreeable, unpleasant and ugly arises because during the this phase, women often wont tow the party line anymore.

In menopause women are no longer prepared to bend and mould to the ideals of another or even their own earlier scripts.

Many women I’ve worked with yearn to return to themselves, to be more authentic and congruent, done with their roles and labels.

Some want peace, some want fun, or to be heard, whilst others crave adventure. It’s time to do it differently.

So let’s welcome the menopause and treat women in this stage of life  with a reverence for their innate wisdom and knowledge.

We teach other’s how to treat us.

Like all things, that which we seek outside of ourselves must be found  within first. What can you do today to welcome and revere yourself?

The Hot Flush

I remember the first hot flush that roared up my neck and face like an inferno. Feeling distinctly uncomfortable I got up to distract myself when someone brought me a glass of cold water. Its was a kind act of awareness, considerate and thoughtful.  One that remained with me.

After that I learned to stay present with flushes, other than to reach for a glass of water. You’ll also find an ice pack or a packet of frozen peas on your pulse points pretty handy at this point.

Instead of running away from or trying to avoid this physical phenomena, I urge you to stay with it. Dive into the feeling, embrace and welcome it in,  there’s a wisdom in it somewhere.

That Which You Resist Persists.

I hear you say that’s all well and good but what if I’m in a meeting or an important event? Same advice – stay with it. Everything reaches a peaks and has to subside. The more you panic or try to stem it the more fierce it can seem. If you’re fidgeting around mopping your brow and looking uncomfortable people will notice more.  Imagine you’re loving that feeling of warmth.

12 Tips for coping better with Menopause

1. When you feel a flush rising, aim to stop what you’re doing and sit down. Slowly sip a glass of cold water until it passes.

2. Allow yourself time and space to yield to the feeling. You’ll notice that when you do this, that the feeling passes more quickly.

3. Try this lovely yoga breathing exercise called Sitali. This is the version I practice and it must be done sitting in a well ventilated space. Not standing on the platform of the station or in a room blasting out air-conditioning.

4. If sleep disturbances are your main issue and you keep waking up or struggle to get off to sleep, treat yourself to my hypnosis audio program Sleep Well Now or read up on the tips in my book  The Art of ZZZ’s

5. Where possible allow yourself some quiet meditation time on a daily basis.

6. Gentle yoga stretching such as yin and hatha yoga are ideal for personal practice.  I prefer to practice and teach fluid movements with weight bearing poses and attention to the breath.

7. Yoga lowers blood pressure, counters stress and can alleviate pain and discomfort, do a littel each day.

8. Your temperature can go up and down like a fiddler’s elbow during the menopause, so invest in a proper silk pashmina, it will keep you warm when you feel chilly and cool when you’re hot! They’re also great for mopping up the excess schvitz!

9. Keep a fan in your pocket or bag it gives you a sense of control when your body heats up.

Menopause Made Easier by Sue Smith The Stresshacker blog

10. The homeopathic remedy Sepia worked brilliant for me, minimising symptoms such as brain fog and tiredness.

11. I’ve practised Ayurvedic principles for many years and found Pukka Herbs’ Aloe Vera juice to be the best.  It’s cooling,  great for the skin and helps with problems like constipation.  It also acts as a carrier taking herbs to body parts that need them.

12. I would drink a shot glass of aloe vera morning and night and take the herb Shatavari – also from Pukka, which helps to combat the dryness that can come with menopause.

Effortless Being

There’s a notion that we’re no longer in our masculine warrior phase, out there chasing and hustling a living.   It’s time to sit back into the powerful energy of the feminine and allow ourselves to receive.

The feminine energy is depicted by the moon and in the same way that it’s cool brightness can throw light across a darkened sea. This can be a time of enlightenment as we take time to ‘be’ and receive our inner wisdom.

Naturally we’re all different and these are just things that worked well for me I hope they help you. Share your tips with me on my Facebook page thestresshacker or in the comments section below.

Enjoy!

 

 

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How Do You Like Your Love?

Are you lucky in love? Do you feel loving and loved?How Do You Like Your Love? - The Stresshacker / Sue Smith

Sometimes when we lose confidence we  shut down in areas of the body to protect ourselves. Many a person who has been hurt in a relationship will unconsciously create an invisible barrier around their heart to protect themselves from being hurt again.

Later they feel frustrated because they can’t find a loving relationship. It’s confidence that’s needed, the confidence to love the self first, before being able to open up again to someone new.

Love and compassion begin at home.

How Do You Like Your Love? - The Stresshacker / Sue SmithWhen you love yourself fully and freely it’s easier to love others boundlessly. So fill your cup, practise better self-love and nurturing now.  Be kind and gentle to yourself and treat yourself with the love and respect you would afford another.

Here’s an exercise that will start the process and help you to open your heart.

Take a moment to think about someone you love… it’s OK if that’s your dog or cat!  Think about what you would say to them if this were your last opportunity to let them know how much they mean to you.  If you can’t think of anyone you love. Imagine how it would feel to really love someone. Imagine a flow of warmth circulating around your chest and flowing out to that someone special.

Come on do it now … just see how it feels to write down exactly what you would say, express your love as openly and honestly as you can without restriction. Remember write don’t type, it’s an entirely different and more positive experience when we put pen to paper.

Turn it around now and pretend someone has sent this letter to you, read it out-loud to yourself seven times. Really anchor these sentiments.

What we say to ourselves becomes true for ourselves. It’s true and that’s because the bigger part of your mind (the other 90%) absolutely believes what it’s told. That is such a valuable piece of information I have to repeat it. YOUR UNCONSCIOUS MIND BELIEVES WHATEVER IT IS TOLD!

Affirmations work! Really they do, but don’t take my word for it practice them yourself and see the results… try the following

“I am open and receptive to a warm loving, respectful relationship”

“I attract a positive loving man/woman into my life”

“All my relationships are harmonious”

The more resistance you feel to saying affirmations the more likely you are to need them and do you know something? It really doesn’t matter whether you believe them or not because your unconscious mind does.

Once upon a time you didn’t know that 2 + 2 = 4 you repeated it often enough to know that it was true. You also didn’t know your alphabet until you practiced it over and over. If you’re good at reading, it’s because you read a lot! Repetition is the mother of all skill.

Affirmations work!

… “My heart is open and receptive to love and happiness” go on try saying it a few times; notice how it makes you feel. Good Right!

According to author Professor Richard Wiseman in his best selling book The Luck Factor you make your own luck.

Set about making your own luck by building the confidence and self-belief you need to find love. Take the short cut to building self esteem by listening to my Super Charge Your Confidence program and then top it up by reading my popular eBook Super Charge Your Confidence. Seven Simple Steps To Boost Your Confidence Self Esteem and Control

If you’re struggling to find love and feel blocked or numb around your heart area, practice these two yoga stretches on daily basis.

Yoga Technique 1: The Windmill

Stand with feet hip width apart soften the knees raise your arms out to the side at shoulder level and keep them there.  Keep your hips facing forwards and turn your trunk and arms to the left, keeping your arms straight and at shoulder height, fix your gaze on the fingers of the back hand. Turn back to the centre and repeat to the right. Keep your gaze fixed on the fingers of the back-hand. Repeat 10 times. Stop if you feel dizzy

Yoga Technique 2: The Chest Opener

Stand with feet hip width apart and bring your arms behind your back and clasp hands together. Draw your shoulder blades together and imagine you could slide them down your back toward the floor, now lift and lengthen up through the front of the body and take a gentle stretch backwards sending hands and arms toward the floor but keep them in touch with the back body. DO NOT take your head back unless you are certain that you have no problems with your neck.

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Do What You Love

Yoga Retreat March 2019 - The Stresshacker Sue SmithI’ve just shared a smashing weekend with a fabulous group of women in Yoga – that means unity for the uninitiated – at a weekend retreat in Sussex. Spending time with like-minded souls, sharing space, food and a love of yoga is positively uplifting.

Try Something New

We wandered out of our comfort zone to try out one of the oldest branches of Chinese Medicine known as Qi Gong with Sound Therapist Ruth from Dao Natural Health. Apparently Qi Gong is a medical science, it was a subtle yet powerful experience that left us feeling energized and relaxed at the same time.do what you love - blog post - The Stresshacker Sue Smith

A Change Is As Good As A Rest

Later we bathed in the sound of a fascinating array of instruments, from the larger gongs to the smaller Tibetan bowls and rain sticks that transported us into various states relaxation and mediation.

Added to this throughout the weekend was a delicious, balanced vegetarian diet with the odd (more sensational than odd) fruity treat thrown in.do what you love - blog post - The Stresshacker Sue Smith

This left us feeling satisfied and satiated on a mental, physical and spiritual plane!

Find Your Tribe

share the pleasure of taking time out to immerse yourself in the things that bring
you joy.

If you suffer from anxiety or just plain old stress this is a gentle nudge to nurture yourself by spending time with people who share the same hobbies, pastimes or sports as you, so that you can return to everyday life feeling more contented and at one with yourself.

Also please look at our products and courses in The Stresshacker store to help assist you with your journey.

 

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HAPPY MIND & BODY

Movement Now Hypnosis Program

HAPPY MIND & BODY by The Stresshacker Sue SmithMove Your Body

I sometimes feel that I sit down for too long… but that’s the nature of my work as a Psychotherapist and Life Coach, thankfully I’m able to balance some of that by teaching yoga, walking and swimming. A sedentary lifestyle is not good if you want to stay healthy moreover, it’s ageing too. Scientifically proven as one of the 5 components that make up Wellbeing, exercise and keeping on the move is a must if we want to stay healthier, happier and youthful.

I’m often heard singing the praises of yoga. It really is more than just exercise, it’s a system of health. Other Eastern philosophies such as Chinese Medicine, subscribe to the notion that we have an emotional body. According to these approaches the emotions reside in the organs. You can hear it in language such as “I felt gutted (stomach) or choked” (throat) or “… he had some gall” referring to the gallbladder that is said to process anger, along with it’s partner the liver.

I definitely recognise the existence of an emotional body in my own style of teaching yoga and also when working one-to-one coaching clients. As a client or student of mine you’ll be on the receiving end of my ‘nagging’ or as I like to think of it, encouragement! Prompting you to direct your attention to the tightest or most uncomfortable part of your body and then breathe deeply into it whilst stretching. It facilitates a beautiful release and expansion that often alleviates pain and discomfort. You just feel great afterwards!

I’m often reminded of my favourite saying that the body will express what the mind is concerned with It’s true and I’ve been interested to observe my own body in the last 3 to 4 weeks whilst going through a particularly stressful and emotional time. Although I’m doing the same amount of yoga practice as usual, I’ve really noticed how tight and stiff my muscles and ligaments have become, in fact my body has been aching and tense. I realise that at times like this it’s more important than ever to keep up my yoga practice (it would be so easy to let it slip)! I have found the gentle long held yin poses have been particularly useful in releasing toxic energy (a build up of negative emotions such as fear and anger). HAPPY MIND & BODY by The Stresshacker Sue Smith

Some years ago my colleague and friend Sabine Smith and I created a lovely CD also available as a download called Movement Now. This is a gentle yoga program that we designed for people who haven’t done any exercise at all for a while, people who want a quick easy stretch program, people who are stuck at their desks all day long and people recovering from illness or surgery. It’s really easy to download to your laptop then pop onto your phone then you can practice anywhere anytime. Click here to buy.

The short program is a real energy boost and you’ll also notice that it creates a nice peaceful state mentally and emotionally.

So if you’re going through one of life’s testing times remember to keep up your practice. If you don’t do yoga then walk, swim or do some exercise and keep the demons at bay!

Also please look at our products and courses in The Stresshacker store to help assist you with your journey.

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The No. 1 Peaceful Retreat

“Just what I needed, really great” ” … completely relaxed and enjoyed the practice, venue, food and great company…  such great organisation” is just some of the  feedback received after last weekend’s yoga retreat. (Book there for the next one in February.  

Being Versus Doing
Being Versus Doing

Do you want peace in your life? What are you doing to achieve that state?

Even if you’re new to yoga get on your mat and breathe then begin to stretch, you’ll be surprised how quickly you will remember a couple of yoga poses you’ve enjoyed in the past and just do them. Listen to your body. If it hurts don’t do it!  Apart from that enjoy!

Be the peace you want to see.

Feeling anything but peaceful? Are you feeling stressed and uptight?

Even 5 minutes of yoga can give you a break from the incessant dominance of the ego mind. You’ll recognise your ego mind as the part of you that labels, criticises, judges, demands and has big expectations. Sound familiar?

Yoga means union or to join,  try taking a few minutes this weekend to tune into your breathing. Go on I dare you to take up my challenge and simply follow 10 whole breaths without allowing your mind to wander – good luck with that!

Oh and by the way this is a whole breath. Breathe in. Notice the natural holding of the breath. Breathe out. Notice the pause before you breathe in again.

Enjoy and let me know how you get on. Also remember there’s the ‘Ask Sue’ page if you have a yoga related or counselling question.