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How Do You Like Your Love?

Are you lucky in love? Do you feel loving and loved?How Do You Like Your Love? - The Stresshacker / Sue Smith

Sometimes when we lose confidence we  shut down in areas of the body to protect ourselves. Many a person who has been hurt in a relationship will unconsciously create an invisible barrier around their heart to protect themselves from being hurt again.

Later they feel frustrated because they can’t find a loving relationship. It’s confidence that’s needed, the confidence to love the self first, before being able to open up again to someone new.

Love and compassion begin at home.

How Do You Like Your Love? - The Stresshacker / Sue SmithWhen you love yourself fully and freely it’s easier to love others boundlessly. So fill your cup, practise better self-love and nurturing now.  Be kind and gentle to yourself and treat yourself with the love and respect you would afford another.

Here’s an exercise that will start the process and help you to open your heart.

Take a moment to think about someone you love… it’s OK if that’s your dog or cat!  Think about what you would say to them if this were your last opportunity to let them know how much they mean to you.  If you can’t think of anyone you love. Imagine how it would feel to really love someone. Imagine a flow of warmth circulating around your chest and flowing out to that someone special.

Come on do it now … just see how it feels to write down exactly what you would say, express your love as openly and honestly as you can without restriction. Remember write don’t type, it’s an entirely different and more positive experience when we put pen to paper.

Turn it around now and pretend someone has sent this letter to you, read it out-loud to yourself seven times. Really anchor these sentiments.

What we say to ourselves becomes true for ourselves. It’s true and that’s because the bigger part of your mind (the other 90%) absolutely believes what it’s told. That is such a valuable piece of information I have to repeat it. YOUR UNCONSCIOUS MIND BELIEVES WHATEVER IT IS TOLD!

Affirmations work! Really they do, but don’t take my word for it practice them yourself and see the results… try the following

“I am open and receptive to a warm loving, respectful relationship”

“I attract a positive loving man/woman into my life”

“All my relationships are harmonious”

The more resistance you feel to saying affirmations the more likely you are to need them and do you know something? It really doesn’t matter whether you believe them or not because your unconscious mind does.

Once upon a time you didn’t know that 2 + 2 = 4 you repeated it often enough to know that it was true. You also didn’t know your alphabet until you practiced it over and over. If you’re good at reading, it’s because you read a lot! Repetition is the mother of all skill.

Affirmations work!

… “My heart is open and receptive to love and happiness” go on try saying it a few times; notice how it makes you feel. Good Right!

According to author Professor Richard Wiseman in his best selling book The Luck Factor you make your own luck.

Set about making your own luck by building the confidence and self-belief you need to find love. Take the short cut to building self esteem by listening to my Super Charge Your Confidence program and then top it up by reading my popular eBook Super Charge Your Confidence. Seven Simple Steps To Boost Your Confidence Self Esteem and Control

If you’re struggling to find love and feel blocked or numb around your heart area, practice these two yoga stretches on daily basis.

Yoga Technique 1: The Windmill

Stand with feet hip width apart soften the knees raise your arms out to the side at shoulder level and keep them there.  Keep your hips facing forwards and turn your trunk and arms to the left, keeping your arms straight and at shoulder height, fix your gaze on the fingers of the back hand. Turn back to the centre and repeat to the right. Keep your gaze fixed on the fingers of the back-hand. Repeat 10 times. Stop if you feel dizzy

Yoga Technique 2: The Chest Opener

Stand with feet hip width apart and bring your arms behind your back and clasp hands together. Draw your shoulder blades together and imagine you could slide them down your back toward the floor, now lift and lengthen up through the front of the body and take a gentle stretch backwards sending hands and arms toward the floor but keep them in touch with the back body. DO NOT take your head back unless you are certain that you have no problems with your neck.

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Do What You Love

Yoga Retreat March 2019 - The Stresshacker Sue SmithI’ve just shared a smashing weekend with a fabulous group of women in Yoga – that means unity for the uninitiated – at a weekend retreat in Sussex. Spending time with like-minded souls, sharing space, food and a love of yoga is positively uplifting.

Try Something New

We wandered out of our comfort zone to try out one of the oldest branches of Chinese Medicine known as Qi Gong with Sound Therapist Ruth from Dao Natural Health. Apparently Qi Gong is a medical science, it was a subtle yet powerful experience that left us feeling energized and relaxed at the same time.do what you love - blog post - The Stresshacker Sue Smith

A Change Is As Good As A Rest

Later we bathed in the sound of a fascinating array of instruments, from the larger gongs to the smaller Tibetan bowls and rain sticks that transported us into various states relaxation and mediation.

Added to this throughout the weekend was a delicious, balanced vegetarian diet with the odd (more sensational than odd) fruity treat thrown in.do what you love - blog post - The Stresshacker Sue Smith

This left us feeling satisfied and satiated on a mental, physical and spiritual plane!

Find Your Tribe

share the pleasure of taking time out to immerse yourself in the things that bring
you joy.

If you suffer from anxiety or just plain old stress this is a gentle nudge to nurture yourself by spending time with people who share the same hobbies, pastimes or sports as you, so that you can return to everyday life feeling more contented and at one with yourself.

Also please look at our products and courses in The Stresshacker store to help assist you with your journey.

 

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3 Winter Boosts

Are you sick of feeling unwell?

At this time of year just about every other person you speak to is suffering with head colds, chest colds that seem to cling on so I thought I would share a couple of ayurvedic tips that I’ve used on and off for sometime and found really helpful.

1. This is a great tonic for the lungs, blood and bones so can help with general aches and pains, sluggish digestion, and wheezy chesty coughs.

¼ teaspoon of turmeric

½ teaspoon of cinnamon

½ teaspoon of apple cider vinegar

1 teaspoon of honey

Stirred into ¾’s of a glass of warm water and drink on an empty stomach first thing in the morning. It’s best to drink this through a straw so that the enamel your teeth are protected from the vinegar.

2. Cold? This a really great way to warm up if you really feel the cold or get dry, chapped skin.

Take some sesame oil (Neutrogena used to make a nice light one, if not available use sesame cooking oil) and warm it in a microwave or on a pan of water. Gently massage your entire body with the warmed oil. Make sure you include your ears, scalp, finger-nails, toes etc. Allow some time for the oil to be absorbed into the body before bathing or showering. It goes without saying be really careful you will be slippery! I guarantee you will feel amazing afterwards, really nutured and comfy.

3. Wake up your inner pharmacy!

My last tip is a bit of a plug but I wanted to share it as I’ve had some really fantastic feedback from clients and students about it and that’s my own Healing Now download. Once you’ve downloaded it from the shop you can transfer it to your phone and play it at night as you drift off to sleep,  it will create a positive mindset to kick-start your own inner healing. You can also use it to boost yourself up, if for example you’ve just got in from work and have to go out again in the evening.

So that’s it 3 tips to fight off the winter blues and stay empowered. Thanks for reading.

Enjoy and let me know how you get on.

Sue x

 

 

 

 

 

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I Really Appreciate Your Support And I Have A Favour To Ask…

So, here we are almost at the end of the year and as I look back I realise I’ve been blogging now for the best part of two years every week! My old English teacher would be proud of his teaching I think… not that I’m saying my English is perfect! Just that I hadn’t realised before blogging, how much I enjoy writing. Anyway enough waffle.

This week’s blog is short and different from my usual format as I’m using it to say a really big and heartfelt thank you to those of you who receive my weekly email and take the time to read  and comment on it. It’s a strange experience writing and never really knowing if anyone reads it!

I appreciate how busy you all are and also how many emails you receive, so when you take the time to read mine, I am humbled and grateful. I also want to say thank you to the women who have helped me to get this site and blog up and running efficiently and who continue to share their knowledge and inspire and support me, in various ways Katy, Claire A, Claire D and Natalie.thank-you-text

As well as a time for reflecting I have been looking forward to next year and thinking about future blogs, workshops and courses both online and in person. So here’s the favour, I want to improve thestresshacker and I wonder if you can help me?

What would you like to see more of in future blogs, freebies or other products?

Would you like more yoga tips? More inner child work? More of the Parent, Adult, Child, work that forms Transactional Analysis? To hear more cases (all of which are created by me based on client work in the last twenty-five years, so no real names or events.)

Below are some of the workshops I’ve run over the last twenty-five years.

Dare To Dream and Create The Life You Want To Have?

Money. Have You Got The Right Consciousness To Manifest?

Creative Problem Solving. 

Healing Your Inner Child

Could You Be More Assertive?

How To Create More Self-Confidence

Stress Free Tools And Tips For Really Chilling Out

The Principles Of Goal Setting

Open Heart Therapy.

If you could spare two minutes to tell me which of these grab your attention and let me know by hitting reply to this email.

If there’s anything else that you would particularly like to see offered as a workshop, covered in a blog or recorded as an Hypnosis program I’m all up for the feed-back.

Finally just a quick reminder that if you’re already signed up to the weekly email and you haven’t downloaded your free products… go and get them now by adding them to your basket in the thestresshacker shop and using the code stresshacker. They are the 5 Minute Power Nap, The 7 Minutes of Zen and The Relaxation Response

If you have a problem that you’d like some guidance on then go to the Ask Sue page on the website, please remember your question and answer there, will be public.

If you want a chance to win my new Sleep Well Now ebook and hypnosis program  go to https://www.thestresshacker.com/giveaways/the-art-of-zzzs/  We will be announcing the winners of this competition at midnight on Wednesday 9th December 2015.

I would love to hear your thoughts and please help me spread thestresshacker word by sharing it with with your friends.

Thanks again and have a great weekend.

Sue

 

 

 

 

 

 

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CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Brian Tracy quote

When we pay full attention to what someone is saying, it contributes to people feeling validated and recognised.sw_Listening_sa209430

One of the most valuable gifts you can give someone is to be present for them whilst they talk to you. If you think back over your last interaction with someone, did you listen properly? By this I mean really listen to them with your full attention?

Modern psychology states that something like 78% of our communication is non-verbal. This means when people are speaking their words may be saying one thing but their tonality, the volume of what they’re saying and body language, may all be communicating something else.

For example someone says, “Of course I love you!” in an aggressive tone. Or someone is saying yes whilst unconsciously shaking his or her head side to side in a ‘No’ fashion.

It’s the same when we’re listening, if we are only half paying attention to what someone is saying, we are giving mixed messages. What we’re really saying is, I’m not really listening because what I’d like to be getting on with, or saying is far more important than anything you have to say! These mixed messages are confusing for people and add to negative feelings and low self-esteem. It’s poor communication.

Successful business entrepreneur Brian Tracy uses the quote ‘Seek first to understand, then to be understood’ a good premise for excellent communication.

 Brian Tracy quote

The art of active listening requires practice and since many people like to talk about themselves, there’s usually plenty of opportunity for that.

Effective listening underpins healthy, positive relationships.

How do you stop your mind from wandering when the person in front of you is talking and perhaps you’ve heard it all before? Breathe, focus on your breath for a moment and then guide your unruly mind back to the person on the other end of the phone or the face of the person who’s standing in front of you. What if that was the last time you ever saw them, spoke with them? Would you be happy at how you had received them?

I once witnessed a situation where one person was sharing something really personal and heartfelt and the other person emptied the entire contents of her handbag looking for something. When the first person stopped talking the other eventually looked up and said “Go on, I am listening.” Was that active listening? What do you think?

So what is active listening? Here’s my top ten tips for attentive listening.

  1. Where possible stop what you are doing
  2. Make eye contact with the person who is speaking.
  3. Stand or sit directly in front of them.
  4. Aim to keep your own facial expressions to a minimum, no raised eyebrows or eyes rolling to the sky.
  5. Remain still, without fiddling or rummaging when someone is speaking to you.
  6. Refrain from sounds such as ‘tut’ ‘phew’ or other non-verbal sounds.
  7. When you think they have finished speaking, allow a space, they may not have finished.
  8. Don’t talk over people.
  9. Don’t interrupt.
  10. If someone is talking slower than your mind is working, don’t finish their sentences, there’s just a chance, you’re not a mind reader and don’t quite know what they’re going to say.

Looking forward to your feedback.

Sue