Menopausal Mad Witch Hag Crone!
There, I’ve said it these are some of the charming names attributed to women experiencing menopause. Women who have reached a stage in their lives where they are no longer able to bear children. Names mainly levied on us by the patriarch of the past.
The reality of course is that Women are wise and when we realise that pretty much everything that walks the planet is born of woman, we are in fact Creators, Goddesses even.
When we consider the pain and suffering women endure to give birth to humanity, shouldn’t women be honoured, respected and revered at every stage of life?
Some stories portray the crone or hag as disagreeable, malicious, or sinister often with magical or supernatural abilities that can make her either helpful or obstructive. Well that’s pretty much true of all of us really, men and women.
And as if creating, birthing, nurturing and child rearing isn’t enough, woman have the menopause to look forward to with it’s myriad of symptoms.
There are hot flushes, dryness, sleep problems, excessive tiredness. Oh and then there’s the rapid mood swings, along with that wonderful feeling that your brain matter has been swapped for a cauldron of cotton wool!
Want to know about more symptoms? Google NHS menopause for more information.
Because so many of you have asked me to write about the menopause what I offer you here are my tips and beliefs for dealing with this phase of life.
It’s a time for cleansing on many levels and clearing out the crap!
Many women at this stage realise that they can no longer live incongruently or out of sync with themselves, it just doesn’t work anymore.
People, jobs, gatherings and even friends that were tolerated in the past have no place during the menopause.
Maybe the description of Crone as disagreeable, unpleasant and ugly arises because during the this phase, women often wont tow the party line anymore.
In menopause women are no longer prepared to bend and mould to the ideals of another or even their own earlier scripts.
Many women I’ve worked with yearn to return to themselves, to be more authentic and congruent, done with their roles and labels.
Some want peace, some want fun, or to be heard, whilst others crave adventure. It’s time to do it differently.
So let’s welcome the menopause and treat women in this stage of life with a reverence for their innate wisdom and knowledge.
We teach other’s how to treat us.
Like all things, that which we seek outside of ourselves must be found within first. What can you do today to welcome and revere yourself?
The Hot Flush
I remember the first hot flush that roared up my neck and face like an inferno. Feeling distinctly uncomfortable I got up to distract myself when someone brought me a glass of cold water. Its was a kind act of awareness, considerate and thoughtful. One that remained with me.
After that I learned to stay present with flushes, other than to reach for a glass of water. You’ll also find an ice pack or a packet of frozen peas on your pulse points pretty handy at this point.
Instead of running away from or trying to avoid this physical phenomena, I urge you to stay with it. Dive into the feeling, embrace and welcome it in, there’s a wisdom in it somewhere.
That Which You Resist Persists.
I hear you say that’s all well and good but what if I’m in a meeting or an important event? Same advice – stay with it. Everything reaches a peaks and has to subside. The more you panic or try to stem it the more fierce it can seem. If you’re fidgeting around mopping your brow and looking uncomfortable people will notice more. Imagine you’re loving that feeling of warmth.
12 Tips for coping better with Menopause
1. When you feel a flush rising, aim to stop what you’re doing and sit down. Slowly sip a glass of cold water until it passes.
2. Allow yourself time and space to yield to the feeling. You’ll notice that when you do this, that the feeling passes more quickly.
3. Try this lovely yoga breathing exercise called Sitali. This is the version I practice and it must be done sitting in a well ventilated space. Not standing on the platform of the station or in a room blasting out air-conditioning.
4. If sleep disturbances are your main issue and you keep waking up or struggle to get off to sleep, treat yourself to my hypnosis audio program Sleep Well Now or read up on the tips in my book The Art of ZZZ’s
5. Where possible allow yourself some quiet meditation time on a daily basis.
6. Gentle yoga stretching such as yin and hatha yoga are ideal for personal practice. I prefer to practice and teach fluid movements with weight bearing poses and attention to the breath.
7. Yoga lowers blood pressure, counters stress and can alleviate pain and discomfort, do a littel each day.
8. Your temperature can go up and down like a fiddler’s elbow during the menopause, so invest in a proper silk pashmina, it will keep you warm when you feel chilly and cool when you’re hot! They’re also great for mopping up the excess schvitz!
9. Keep a fan in your pocket or bag it gives you a sense of control when your body heats up.
10. The homeopathic remedy Sepia worked brilliant for me, minimising symptoms such as brain fog and tiredness.
11. I’ve practised Ayurvedic principles for many years and found Pukka Herbs’ Aloe Vera juice to be the best. It’s cooling, great for the skin and helps with problems like constipation. It also acts as a carrier taking herbs to body parts that need them.
12. I would drink a shot glass of aloe vera morning and night and take the herb Shatavari – also from Pukka, which helps to combat the dryness that can come with menopause.
There’s a notion that we’re no longer in our masculine warrior phase, out there chasing and hustling a living. It’s time to sit back into the powerful energy of the feminine and allow ourselves to receive.
The feminine energy is depicted by the moon and in the same way that it’s cool brightness can throw light across a darkened sea. This can be a time of enlightenment as we take time to ‘be’ and receive our inner wisdom.
Naturally we’re all different and these are just things that worked well for me I hope they help you. Share your tips with me on my Facebook page thestresshacker or in the comments section below.