If you are going to get through the 2nd lockdown with your mind intact and with a stronger bounce-ability factor it may well be down to you and you only!
Before you read this, grab a notebook… this could be your most valuable resource as the weeks go by.
I’ve said it before I’ll say it again, DON’T text or type, WRITE. There’s something about engaging your mind and handwriting simultaneously that makes these exercises much more powerful.
What if it’s true that no-one knows what you need better than you?
Then all you need to do is answer these questions and take your own advice and follow your own prescription.
1. Stop Scaring Yourself!
How do you do this? Write down 7 or more things that you think that make you feel worried, anxious and scared.
Include any pictures, images or past memories that you constantly revisit, you know, those things that help keep you in a state of fear.
Now write down as many ways that you could stop yourself from doing this, for example “I could choose different thoughts” (write down those different thoughts).
Choose different images, find pictures in magazines that are uplifting and positive. Put them where you’ll see them regularly, if that’s not possible stick them inside a cupboard or wardrobe door. Look at them a lot.
Create New Movies: Re-run any memories or flashbacks that are negative but this time with a positive outcome. For example if you have pictures in your mind in which you are the victim, now see the perpetrator(s) being disempowered in as many ways as possible.
Keep running the new images with brighter colours for example seeing a bully as smaller, insignificant and dis-abled from their bullying ways. Regularly revisit this new ‘memory’ until you feel bored with it.
When you do this exercise always leave yourself looking bigger or taller stronger, more empowered and assertive.
2. Pull Yourself Together
Look again at the image of the Russian Dolls above and remember that you carry all of you inside. This means that more often than not your scary thoughts have nothing to do with the here-and-now!
It’s true; you may be having “What if” thoughts that have no bearing on your current situation. They could be coming from a younger you. Equally so you may be constantly spending time in the future worrying about what could happen tomorrow, next week or even a year from now.
When we consider that truly the only bit that’s real is now, why are you spending your valuable energy roaming back into the past and forwards into the future?
If you really stop and think about this, it means that you’re constantly cheating yourself out of time and the ‘now’!
The chances are that every anxiety provoking thought is either about something that’s already happened or something that might happen. Practice being here now more frequently and one way to do this is to link something to a scary thought.
For example you’re thinking “ What if I can’t pay the next heating bill”
Shout inside your head “Get Up And Shake Off” Now stand up, feet apart and shake your hands and arms. Quickly! Shake each foot and leg … just like swimmers do before a race, shake off the excess adrenalin. Do this for a minute then take a deep breath and as you breathe out make a loud “Haaaaa” sound repeat twice.
That’s it! Do it every time you have an anxious thought, this way you’re changing your ‘state’ empowering yourself and getting back to the present.
3. Laughter Is The Best Medicine.
Remember who and what makes you laugh. Find as many films, jokes and books that make you laugh. Be sure you talk to the friend who makes you laugh (the one you have that chemistry with) regularly.
4. Exercise More
You must be sick of hearing this by now but someone has gone to the trouble of researching this and there’s tons of evidence to show that a brisk half an hours walk does wonders for the mind and body.
If you need a goal see how quickly you can reach a destination each time you walk.
If you need motivation buddy up (at a distance) or meet your walking buddy a location for incentive.
See what the NHS has to say about the benefits of exercise.
If you’re beating yourself up for something you did in the past that was wrong perhaps it’s time to forgive.
Mistakes are valuable ways of growing and learning, just ask a Scientist, they constantly get it wrong, until they find the right way.
What I’m saying is, it’s normal to screw up you’re not perfect and never will be!
If you hurt others by screwing up and you feel brave enough and it’s appropriate, then contact them and tell them how sorry you are for the pain or trouble you caused. Don’t look for forgiveness from them, that’s your business but aim to make amends if and where you can.
With that done, if you can be sure you will not repeat that behaviour then forgive yourself and practice forgiving yourself until your wrongs sit more easily with you. You do that by saying “your name… I forgive you, you are forgiven now.”
It’s remarkable how many people beat themselves up for years for things they’ve done. I’m obviously not condoning bad behaviour but if you’re genuinely remorseful, would never do that thing again… then be kind and gentle to yourself and forgive.
If you need to take a short break away from the family or just to reset remember to help yourself to my 7 Minutes of Zen download…this is what one person said “It’s fabulous!”