Years ago I did some additional NLP training with Dr Richard Bandler one of the two originators of Neuron-Linguistic-Programming or as I like to think of it Positive Psychology.
Among other things NLP looks at ‘Modelling on Excellence’ so when we find something that we want to do well, or to have, the aim is to “model on’ or copy the behaviour or steps that allowed others to achieve that outcome, with the expectation that we will achieve similar results.
So what’s this got to do with my headline?
Finding out what naturally happy people do to feel happy helps others to model on that behaviour
People who are happier in life tend to be self-nurturing, kind and loving to themselves. They have learned to live with and accept their limitations, which doesn’t mean they don’t strive for things or have goals, more that they have reached a place of self-acceptance.
Happier people have also learned how to quieten the negative chatter in their minds.
How often are you aware of that nagging voice in the background of your awareness? That demanding, negative part that criticises what you’re doing or how you’re doing it?
People give this part many names from the devil, the ego, to the parent part. However you choose to label your ‘gremlin’ is your business. But do you know how to stop it from droning on and eroding your efforts to feel okay about yourself?
There are loads of clever therapeutic interventions for quietening this unhelpful inner voice, but for a quick fix, try Bandler’s advice who told us in training “Tell it to Shut the F**! Up! I did! It did! It does work!
Don’t take my word for it, try it yourself.
I’ll be honest and say I prefer the words ‘That’s enough! Be Quiet Now” Which I find works just as well. Choose your own wording, but next time you’re having a bad day and your parent part or inner critic is giving you a rough ride, you might want to try this until you close it down.
As you become aware of the negative chatter, mentally and silently shout Shut The F**! Up several times. Follow this up with several days of ‘reprogramming’ by listening to something like Super Charge Your Confidence, my hypnosis program that helps build self-esteem and notice just how quickly your adult part bounces back into control.
Enjoy and let me know how you get on.