I recall with some embarrassment, in my late teens, being so totally terrified of going to the dentist that I would not turn up – no cancellation – no excuse, just didn’t go! I know, I know it’s really unassertive at best and rude and inconsiderate at worst.
Why is that we have so much trouble telling our truth?
I later realised that this inability to just pick up the phone and simply cancel the appointment or even say I was too frightened to attend, could be attributed to the child part of me.
The Transactional Analysis approach in psychotherapy loosely suggests that we have three main programs running in the back of the mind, that of Parent, Adult and Child. Any part can take over and dominate the psyche.
In this case the child was dominating, mainly because the feelings of fear were so powerful. Now had the adult or even the parent part of me dealt with the dentist I might have addressed my fears earlier. Unfortunately at that time the fear was so utterly paralysing that it triggered a childlike state in me leaving me unable to speak out.
At a later point I realised this was a ridiculous situation, after all I had to go to the dentist sometime.
I sat down in the safety of my own home and decided to confront my fears. As I examined the feelings of anxiety, exploring the knot in my stomach that made it hard to breathe, I began to remember some particularly unpleasant dental experiences as a child. Then it hit me … as a child! I know it sounds daft but at that point I had this moment of awareness where I thought ‘I’m not a child I’m 33! What’s more I’m a hypnotherapist! I can deal with this.
In that moment part of me grew up. I realised I had to deal with the fear. I began to develop a better inner dialogue, partly by giving myself positive suggestions. One very powerful thing I did was to constantly remind myself ” I’m a 33 year old adult, I’m a 33 year old adult” (it was some time ago!) I found this message quietly comforting and grounding.
I began to use hypnosis programs to strengthen my mind. Eventually this enabled me to make an appointment with the dentist and keep it! Only this time I went as an adult rather than in fearful child mode.
I knew I would never enjoy going to the dentist but I did start to use the experience as an opportunity to practice deep relaxation, breathing techniques, such as those used in giving birth, hypnosis and other mind over matter techniques that are used successfully in therapy.
Are you challenging a fear within yourself ?
Are you trying to break bad habits? Maybe you just want to feel psychologically stronger and more robust. Perhaps you need a real boost to your confidence. Don’t struggle on your own, use the support of mind strengthening programs like Super Charge Your Confidence.
If you’re dealing with fears and anxiety and you want to feel calmer and more in control emotionally, to be able to relax your breathing then Breathe Easy or Stress Free With Confidence may be the program for you.
Just click on the links and click the program best suited to you now and it will download to your computer, you can put it onto your phone or ipad and listen regularly to enjoy all those benefits and more. Listen regularly for at least a month and just watch the changes. Oh and remember to tick the terms and conditions box.
I hope this helps you.
Sue x
