Anxiety is fear. I suppose it is more socially acceptable to say “I suffer from anxiety” rather than say “I’m frightened” or “I’m scared.”
You won’t find a specific pill, or approach to addressing your anxiety because the root, that is, the cause of my anxiety is going to be different from yours. It is specific to the individual.
What I would say is if you have tried lots of different approaches, lots of self help, mediation, etc and the anxiety doesn’t shift in any way, then you do probably need to enlist help. A counselor psychotherapist, hypnotherapist or coach will all have excellent skills to help navigate your way out of feeling so bad.
It’s horrible to feel that way.
Antidotes and Remedies.
1. Letter writing
Hand write letters to people who have frightened you the most. Really go for it and say all the things you would like to have said at the time. Tell them exactly what you think of them. Vent your spleen! Speak your truth.
TEAR THE LETTER UP! – DO NOT SEND IT.
This exercise is for you to cathart (release). Do not send the letters you write because the likelihood of those people changing is as high as pigs flying through the air! This a cleansing ritual for you.
The logic behind this exercise is that your subconscious mind, which is about 90% of your mental energy – another way of thinking of your subconscious mind is that it is your long term memory. Totally accepts whatever you tell it. It cannot judge it will believe that you have actually said these things to the person. Because it believes you have said these things, you begin to feel empowered as you address your demons, so to speak.
2. Art therapy to address Anxiety.
Get a big sheet of paper, maybe like the reverse side of a roll of old wallpaper. Draw a life-size picture of the person who has caused the most upset for you. Then once it’s drawn. Write all over it. Grafitti it. You might ask questions of this person such as WHY? Scrawl that right across the persons body. You might choose to walk up and down all over this drawing, stamping on them. You might choose to draw a big Zip over their mouth so that they can no longer say those things that upset you so much. Or cover their eyes up by drawing a big pair of sunglasses or scribbling over their eyes. Do you get the idea? Once you have finished ‘addressing’ this person, rip the whole drawing up into tiny pieces and take it outside and stick it in the rubbish where it belongs.
… more art therapy for anxiety..
Take a sheet of paper and with your non-dominant hand draw your anxiety – don’t worry no-one else will see this except for you. It does not have to be perfect.
Next draw a picture (with either hand) that looks like how it would feel if you could shrink and contain that anxiety or fear.
You can keep adding new drawings of what you feel diminishing fear would look like.
3. Assertiveness
Many people feel afraid to be assertive. In fact if you ask people what it is they often mistake it for being aggressive. IT IS NOT.
People who are assertive are basically people who are comfortable with their truth. They feel okay about telling people what is okay and what is not. They have spent time getting to know themselves well enough to know that we can all have different perspectives. If my perspective is different from yours, it doesn’t make me a liar, or a trouble maker or difficult, it just means I see things differently from you,
If we are all sitting in a big hall watching one person if I’m at the front looking up at this person, do I have the same view as the girl sitting right at the back to the left? Of course not, but it’s the same hall and the same person just different perspectives.
Many of us are passive and as a consequence get taken advantage of or walked over. After some time we may decide we cannot let this keep happening and we become more vigiliant and watchful as a way of looking out for and protecting. We jump on the next person who tries to take advantage of us, maybe then we become aggressive.
Neither end of the spectrum is balanced. The middle ground is to be assertive. This sits in the middle of being passive or aggressive.
Unless you were fortunate enough to have excellent role models, you will have to learn to be assertive. You have to learn to be comfortable enough in your skin to risk talking about how you really feel and strong enough to stand up for your feelings and truth.
This takes time and some educating. So read about assertiveness, take courses and workshops, listen to my download Assertiveness Now.
It cannot happen without you putting some work into it. And you wont regret it. Learning to stand up for yourself will be one of the best things you’ve ever done. It will help you to feel worthy and valuable, nurtured and protected.
4. MOVE!
Your body holds your fears and anxiety so move your body! Do some gentle stretching. Or run, jog, exercise. Lay on the floor with your knees bent pull you navel back in and stamp your feet and bang your fists on the floor whilst shouting aaaaah! Externalise these feelings. Get them out. You’ll feel lighter and more spacious in your body afterwards.
5. What Scares You Most?
Write a long list of all the things that frighten you.
Now look at each question and ask yourself honestly “Is it true?”
If it’s true, what can you do to change something about this situation? Write it down, go on, anything even the tiniest thing to make a small shift in this situation?
Remember of course that the power to change is within us. We cannot change anyone else. Even if you’re in the worst possible situation ever, start to make an escape plan, write down the steps that you need to take to get out of this job, relationship or situation.
When you write things down you are beginning to make a commitment to yourself to make your life better and become empowered.
