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It’s Time to Sack Your Inner Judge – Here’s How

Stop judging yourself
Ah yes, our inner Judge. Where does it come from? More importantly how can we stop the incessant judgments?

From the moment we wake up until we go to sleep the ‘Judge’ or ‘Inner Critic’ is often present, judging others and judging ourselves. How we look, what we do, what we did, how we act. Yes, the  Inner Judge presides and criticises all of it.

Well firstly, well done if you are able to even identify your ‘Inner Judge’ or ‘Inner Critic’,  since most people don’t  manage to separate themselves out from their Judge (and that isn’t a judgment!)

Secondly, you’ll need to be tenacious in order to keep observing the Judge from a different perspective or place.

Thirdly, you’ll need to have another place to go in order to watch or listen to the Judge at work.

[Related: Why Am I So Judgmental? Your judgments may hide a deeper meaning.]

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Would you sit a child in front of it? Why you need to stop watching the news

The News StresshackerI often ask clients who feel stuck, anxious or depressed to refrain from reading the newspapers and watching the news on a daily basis.

Why would I encourage people to stay away from the news? Well, here’s the reason.

If, in your memory, you already have a collection of negative, miserable or traumatic memories and thoughts stored up, you will increase the negativity by adding a regular diet of troubling news.

And, let’s face it, most of the news is negative.

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A simple thought hack: create an analeptic circle to remove negative thoughts

Analeptic cycle
Do you know what an analeptic cycle is? I bet you know what a vicious cycle is!

Do you ever doubt yourself? Wonder if you’re quite good enough as a mother, daughter, son, friend, employee, employer or in any of the other roles we take up in life? Do you ever hear that little nagging voice in the back of the mind, or wake up to a stream of negative thoughts?

Welcome to life!

It’s totally normal to feel like this – most people do at some time or another.  But did you know that there are things that you can do to quieten the negative chatter, to silence the inner critic?

Here’s one technique for stopping that inner critic

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Do you compulsively repeat patterns over and over? Here’s how to change

Do you constantly repeat the same patternsWhether consciously or subconsciously, we often recreate scenarios around us that are familiar. We do this in an effort to feel safe and comfortable.

A while back a client came to see me. The client – let’s call him “Pete” – couldn’t understand why he kept ending up in relationships that always ended the same way.

He’d be happy at first, but then his inner chatter would start to grow and he’d begin building stories based on his negative thoughts. Those thoughts then stimulated unpleasant negative emotions.

Before long he would behave in a way that provokes the very thing he was afraid of: rejection. Once he met someone new, the whole cycle would start again.

Do you find yourself repeating the same things over and over?

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Why owning all the stupid things I’ve done has made me happier

The power of surrenderOne of the most liberating moments in my life was when I stopped hiding from myself.

A few weeks back I talked about emotional immaturity in adults. I discussed how emotionally immaturity can be a sign that while someone has grown up physically, emotionally they may still have a long way to go. But how do you grow up emotionally?

I discussed some techniques that can help with feeling more earthed (and I’ve previously talked about ways to make yourself feel more grounded and less detached and day-dreamy as well as the problems that come from letting your inner child rule your life). I also mentioned how it’s important to figure out where in your body this feeling sits.

But there’s more you can do to feel more like a fully grown adult.

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