Posted on Leave a comment

It’s all about staying well and in control

healing hypnosis program

 The Stresshacker’s 12 Tips For Staying Well

  1. DRINK LOTS OF WARM DRINKS. E.G.s honey, lemon, ginger, cordials, tea, or coffee, in particular two dessert spoons of apple cider vinegar with honey in a big cup of hot water drink as it cools.

    Keeping We
  2. GARGLE You can use  apple cider vinegar or  an antiseptic mouthwash even diluted lemon juice in warm water.
  3. NETI If you are familiar with the practice use neti daily or if you feel nasally congested. DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN SHOWN HOW!
  4. DAILY MOTIVATION. Listen to something EVERY DAY that will lift your spirits. An inspirational speaker, podcasts, positive thinking guru’s find the one that floats your boat!
  5. PROGRAMME YOUR MIND AT NIGHT Use positive thinking hypnosis programmes as you to go off to sleep. If you wake in the night feeling anxious listen again.healing hypnosis program

Stress Free With Confidence. Healing Now. Super Charge Your Confidence. Assertive Empowerment Now. Breathe Easy can all help.

  1. COLDS If you feel the slightest sore throat, take any cough medicine from your shelf two dessert spoons diluted into hot water and drink. You’ll be       amazed at how quickly this works!
  2. CONGESTION If you’re prone to congestion in your lungs take turmeric tablets daily.
  3. SUPPLEMENTS Up your Vitamin C preferably naturally … I take 1000mgrms several times a week.
  4. PROTECTING LUNGS If you have any lung condition or weakness KEEP YOUR MOUTH AND NOSE COVERED! This is so important, cold, damp, windy air can inflame your bronchiole and alviolie – this will make you think you have a cold (it can feel like it but often isn’t!). This coupled with FEAR thoughts will drive you into a state of angst!
  5. STAY ACTIVE Take your arms up over your head – sideways up and down, forwards up and down. Punch the air with hands in fists moving arms in as many directions as possible. Pretend you are a boxer, move your feet around too if possible.
  6. CLEANLINESS Do I really need to say wash your hands? Wash Your Hands! A lot!
  7. PERSONAL GROOMING Stay well groomed. Don’t let your personal hygiene go, it’s easy to skip a bath or shower – don’t! Keep your hair washed too.
Posted on 2 Comments

What is Wellbeing? How can it work for you?

Wellbeing In A Week Course

Why is Wellbeing so important?

Wellbeing online course
WELLBEING AND HEALTH

Simply because it affects your overall health and happiness.

As a teacher and therapist of many years I see first hand how important wellbeing is for people to thrive. See what the World Health Organisation has to say about it.

I have learned that everyone has a story and none of us move through the journey of life unscathed. Some people suffer anxiety from past or current events and other’s live with emotional scars. And whilst some live with physical traumas, everyone has to deal with loss at some time in life.

It’s Not   Happens To You, It’s How You Deal With It.

My short course Wellbeing In A Week helps combat anxiety and stress.

It offers simple exercises and is packed full of opportunities to program positive thinking and wellbeing into your mind and body.

There are 5 main components to Wellbeing

1.Connection

Loneliness is an epidemic and there are many reasons for it, technology not being the least. People who feel lonely often talk about feeling isolated too. Whilst this isolation is actual, in that they may have stopped going out and connecting to others,  it can also show up as a  physical numbness,  an inability to feel.  In therapy we discover that  this usually forms part of a much bigger picture of grief.  Grief can come from all kinds of scenarios such as a childhood where parents are absent because of  divorce, death or just  ‘unavailable’ because of long working hours. Grief and isolation can also stem from periods of bullying at school or in the workplace.  The lonely person can feel cold, numb and shut-down.

The remedy is to  connect, learn to trust again and reach out for connection. Finding just one  person to talk to or discovering a small group that you could join. You can develop connection by taking up a  hobby. 

2. Be Active

It’s so important to stay fit and healthy. The stress hormone cortisol goes up when you feel lonely and this can compromise your immune system and affect your heart adversely. Psychologically this could be because ‘affairs of the heart’ will have you thinking in negative cycles spiralling into anxious and depressed thinking.  Serotonin, Oxytocin, dopamine and endorphins all help us to feel happy and most are released when doing things we love and enjoy … so find the exercise you love and boost your wellbeing.  So many people talk about a sense of ‘coming home’ for example, when they discover the joys of yoga. 

3. Keep Learning

Keeping your mind active by discovering something new learning something different from your usual daily routine will boost your wellbeing.  It could be something technical or a musical instrument or online courses that teach you how to think differently such as Wellbeing In A Week.

Wellbeing In A Week, online course, the stresshacker

Remember there’s always help at The Stresshacker to deal with things that threaten to derail you or negatively impact your wellbeing.

Take at peak at the shop here for resources to:

4. Give To Others

Yes! believe it or not giving to others makes us feel great! Develop an attitude of gratitude to boost your happy hormones. Think back, when was the last time you helped someone out? The last time you made a random act of kindness? If you can’t think of anything try doing something by the end of today to help someone out. You will be helping yourself too.

5. Mindful

Being mindful means being present in the moment here and now.

Try this exercise,  stop right now and centre yourself by observing 3 things that you can see, 3 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel without moving too much and 3 things you can smell and taste. 

How was that? How long did it take.  It was easy wasn’t it! And do you know what’s even easier? Go to ‘freebies’ section in The Stresshacker shop and download your free audio guides for mindfulness. Let me know how you like them.

Interestingly sometimes the smallest change in your routine, your thinking or habits can have a massive positive impact on your health and wellbeing. Investing in self-care is probably one of the most important things you can do to maintain a good sense of self and wellbeing.

Enjoy!

Posted on Leave a comment

15 Ways To Understand Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Healing begins in the past.

 

It’s Never Too Late To Have A Happy Childhood

What is emotional intelligence? How do you stop yourself from feeling like a child when you’re pulled up at work about something. Why do you react to your own children in a childish way? Why can’t you stand up to that bully? Just how do you grow up and heal emotionally?

For almost 30 years I’ve had the pleasure of helping thousands of people to develop emotional intelligence.  I’ve facilitated many as they’ve healed old wounds and genuinely found ways to leave an unpleasant past where it truly belongs, in the past!

Whilst counselling and cognitive approaches can be great ways to understand your past, they don’t always hit the spot when it comes to ‘feeling’ better.

Many clients arrive in my therapy room after months, sometimes years of counselling elsewhere, yet still feel that they haven’t moved on.  Although they have a good understanding of their pasts, they still feel they haven’t grown up emotionally. Why is this?

The simple answer is this. You remain emotionally stuck because emotions live in your body – not in your mind. To have emotional intelligence you probably need to heal the past.

Your emotional life lives on in your physiology.

What does that mean?

Your emotions are stored in your organ body and are communicated via your physical systems. Such as the nervous system or cardiovascular and respiratory systems.

What is emotional intelligence? Is it intellectual or somatic?

Let me ask you a question. Do you feel anxious or think anxious? Often the feeling precipitates the thoughts.

For example, you wake up with a feeling of anxiety in your chest, it feels like a tight band around your chest. You add all kinds of reasoning and ‘rationale’ as to why you’re feeling that way.

You’ve got a presentation later that day. You’ve had an argument with a colleague or friend, or you didn’t get enough sleep.

You attribute these thoughts to the feelings of tightness in your chest, the thoughts build and the band gets tighter. This creates a vicious circle.

To become more emotionally intelligent learn a little about your subconscious mind and it’s connection to your body.  Discover how you can change the way you feel.

 

  1. Your subconscious mind is also your imagination, your unconscious mind and your long term memory, the other 90%. It all means the same.

  2. According to quantum physics the subconscious mind processes 44 billion bits of information per second! Read that again!

  3. This part of your mind has billions of jobs to do. One of the main jobs is to store information, regardless of whether that information is true or false. Read that again!

  4. Your subconscious mind is phenomenally intelligent, yet simultaneously childlike in quality

    This mind holds all the memories of billions other you’s from the past. Look at the photo of the Russian Dolls and imagine one doll for every moment in time. They are all you.

  5. Your subconscious mind is nothing to be afraid of … it’s just YOU!
  6. Your subconscious mind has your best interests at heart… at every stage in your life.For example if when you were 14 you had a temper tantrum with your parents and screamed inside your head over and over with great emotion  “I wish I were dead!” That part of you still holds that intention. That nano second thought in time stays there at an energetic level.
  7. Because your subconscious mind cannot identify past or future, everything just is,in the here and now. This makes healing the past possible!
  8. Time is man-made. As I write this it’s 12.30pm here in the UK yet it’s 1.30pm in France. Your subconscious has no such time restrictions, so you can change memories (and their attached emotions) in the so-called past.
  9. .Your subconscious mind is willing to help you in the pursuit of your goals and dreams. But it’s up to you to make really clear exactly what you want. You can program a brighter future, because your subconscious mind’s main job is to store information.
  10. Your subconscious mind is basically YOU and it wants to help you.  You at a conscious level are the headquarters and your subconscious awaits your instructions. In the absence of any new directives, it just carries out old programming, often in the form of negative thoughts and beliefs.
  11. The subconscious mind is connected to the systems and organs in your body. This is where you feel.  According to Eastern traditions such as acupuncture and Ayurveda your emotions live in your organs.If you have you ever heard someone say they were gutted? Or noticed someone unconsciously holding their breath in fear as they recounted an unpleasant memory?  That’s the emotion ‘held’ in the stomach and cardio- vascular and respiratory systems.

    12. Your subconscious mind is really happy to change perspective on any issue past or future, because it                  wants to help you to feel better at every level.

    13  Due to the nature of your subconscious mind, it is willing to accept changes. When you change                             perspective on an old issue it affects your physiology positively.

    14   By playing around with visualization paired with a relaxed body, you can change past events and                       program future events and physiology will obey.

    15   This is currently revealed as neuro-plasticity, yet has been known and practiced by hypnotherapists                 the world over for years!

It’s easy to re-programme your mind. Hypnosis is the fastest way to do this. By regularly downloading positive suggestions to your subconscious mind, you bypass the ‘critical factor’ i.e. the conscious mind and in as little as a week you can be feeling happier and more positive. 

As I once told a client “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood!”

Wellbeing In A Week – Day 5

Hi and welcome to the last day of the course.

Yesterday we looked at core values and how knowing what yours are, makes such a big difference to the choices you make in life. If peace is one of my core values, I am unlikely to rent out a room to a drummer who needs to practice daily!

Today we’re looking at self-acceptance. How do we accept ourselves enough to live confidently and comfortably with who we really are?

Get a piece of paper and make a quick list of all the awful things you’ve done, the dreadful thoughts, the things you feel shameful or guilty about. Don’t think about it for too long just quickly scribble them down. No-one but you will see this list and you can tear it up after.

Is it really that bad?

You are already living with what you’ve done, though maybe not comfortably. So, first question can you change or repair it? If so do that.

Are you likely to repeat any of those things?

If you have done things that you are ashamed of and do not intend to repeat them then it’s time to forgive yourself. NOW! Please give yourself a break and forgive yourself. How long would you punish someone you love for? Yes, it’s finally time to stop punishing yourself.

Get ready to forgive yourself?

Do this now.

Write down 7 times… (your name) I now forgive you for …(your crime) you are forgiven.

Repeat this exercise as often as possible to enjoy the feeling of lightness in your chest.

It’s important to practise forgiving and forgive in the 1st 2nd and 3rd person so write down again

I am forgiven for …

you are forgiven for…

e.g. John is forgiven for… 

There are so many benefits for forgiveness.

Firstly it means you can dump the guilt. Guilt doesn’t help you to feel good. It is one of the most crippling emotions. So let it go.

Secondly with forgiveness comes more self-acceptance. Being comfortable with who you really are and not some expectation of perfection or an unrealistic, unattainable idea of who you should be.

You’re doing the best you can so let it go at that.

Along with self-acceptance comes an instant lift in your self-confidence. This means you feel less stressed, calmer and more relaxed.

Practise forgiving yourself daily.

Well done! Now that you’ve completed the exercises, incorporate them into your life.

To recap:

  1. Shake your body daily to release negative energy.
  2. Make a note of what you’re unhappy with. Empower yourself and come up with two things you could do to change this situation.
  3. Take your 10
  4. Remind yourself daily of your core values, this is your compass in life.
  5. Be compassionate and practise forgiveness.

If you’ve enjoyed this course I think you will love Super Charge Your Confidence I wrote this book and created an audio hypnosis MP3 so that you really can create unstoppable self confidence.

If you have any trouble sleeping then you definitely want the Sleep Well Now bundle with book and download. It’s an invaluable resource to retraining your brain and get more in control of your life.

Go to Follow Up

Posted on Leave a comment

6 Survival Tips For A Stress Free Christmas

How to cope with Christmas

Surviving Christmas Stress:

I love that quote …“Think you’re enlightened? Spend a week with your family!”

For many, family is the messiest part of life. People just won’t do what we want them to do will theyHow to cope with Christmas!

Christmas holidays often mean spending prolonged periods of time with people who can push your emotional buttons, so what’s your plan to survive Christmas and the strong opinions or personalities that can arise at this time?  Check out my tips below.

1. Meditation

The Christmas holidays are a perfect time to develop a regular mediation habit. Start with  5 minutes, building to 7 and then 10 minutes a day by week two.  Along with enormous health benefits, at this time of year meditation can offer you the perfect excuse to get away and give yourself some much needed time and space. Check out my other blogs or click here for simple meditation techniques.

2. Breathe To Alleviate Boredom

I remember someone telling me of their dread of the office party and the boring conversations they had to endure each year. If you get stuck with the office bore try practising a simple breathing technique whilst they’re talking to you. Keep looking at the person and subtly bring your awareness to your nostrils, silently count One on your next inbreath, two before you breathe out, three as you exhale and four before you breathe in again. When you’ve counted 5 ‘whole’ breaths in this way make your excuses ” well, it’s been great catching up and I want to talk to …. now, enjoy the rest of the party” and run!

3. Develop compassion.

If step 2 seems a bit harsh, maybe you can develop the art of active listening? You’re with the office bore again (except you no longer refer to them in such a way) imagine you can drop down into a very peaceful space within and begin listening with an open heart, i.e. with absolutely no expectations, no desire to escape and without a need to fix them, question them or judge anything they say. Good luck with that!

4. Boundaries. Where are yours?

What is your tolerance level for a particular person? So for example you don’t get along with your sister can you sit open-heartedly listening to her for 5 minutes or 10? What and where is your limit? It’s important to know yourself in this respect. Think about these interactions ahead of time.  Once you’ve reached your tolerance level with that particular person have  an “I need to get up and get some water” statement handy, so that you can change your position and your state. Plan ahead, is it possible to arrange to sit next to someone you do enjoy talking to?

5. Booze. Is it time to monitor your intake?

At what point might you say something you could regret? If two drinks leave you merry and sweet but four make you a bit mouthy…  perhaps you need a plan. Think ahead. How do you want to feel when you wake up after you’ve been out partying? When you look back over the previous evening’s events do you want to be happy with your ruminations or will you be cringing because of something you said or did?  Will that extra drink make the difference?  Plan ahead and decide when enough is enough. Before you go out think about an alternative to alcohol get a really clear picture of it in your mind, for example imagine a nice glass of sparkling tonic water with a shot of lime cordial and a twist of lemon, or a pot of freshly brewed coffee.

6. Kindness

Christmas is an especially good time to be thoughtful, kind and generous to others but I hear so often of people (usually women) who have run themselves ragged trying to make the perfect Christmas for others only to end up ‘coming down with something’. So be kind to yourself first, it’s then easier to give authentically to others.  Make time for you and as you give yourself a bit of space  ask yourself “what do I want, what do I need.” When your cup is full there’s a tendency to only want for the good of others and if you’re okay,  you’re in a better position to take care of others.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blogs, visit the site and purchase products I really value your feedback.

Wishing my family, friends, clients, yoga students and readers a great Christmas and all you would wish for yourself throughout 2019.

Remember if you know of anyone who might benefit, my shop is stocked full of hypnosis programs designed to boost confidencecounter stress, deal with anxiety, sleep problems and other issues. Psst! Pass it on please…

Posted on Leave a comment

Judging Ourselves and Others: How To Break The Habit

Pointing Finger of Judgement

Are You Sick Of Judging?

Judging ourselves and others can become a habit.

When Louisa was younger she used to love people watching with her sister when they were in the car. They would take it in turns to pick out a stranger who they would judge and criticise for something, each trying to out-do the other with insults.

When she was older Louisa felt more and more uncomfortable indulging in what had once felt like harmless fun.

She’d reasoned as a teenager that it didn’t hurt anyone because the strangers couldn’t hear them and it eased their boredom.

Years later however Louisa recognised that the discomfort she felt stemmed, not only from being mean to innocent strangers, but also because of what it told her about herself and her attitudes.

What our judgements say about us

If you can be unkind about a stranger, how mean are you to yourself? Do you spend a lot of  time criticising the way your friends and colleagues behave? Then you’re probably  harsh and critical about yourself.

Judging others means you’re judging yourself. When we point the finger of blame or judgment at another, you’ll notice three fingers pointing back at yourself. We levy a much heavier burden of judgment on ourselves when we judge others.

In life we tend to attract mirrors of ourselves, in our partners, friends and colleagues.

Look at the things in others that you like or dislike, love or hate, you’ll discover that they are aspects about yourself that you are not owning.

Consider the one thing that you find most abhorrent, something you believe you would NEVER do – be very careful, because you almost certainly house some aspect of that deep within your psyche!

So the next time your inner Judge starts pointing, be kinder to yourself and curl those fingers into a yoga mudra (gesture). Bring your thumb and index finger together and slowly repeat the words ‘I am peace, you are peace, there is peace’

Judging takes up a lot of psychic energy and takes us away from the here and now. Next time you catch yourself judging, distract your mind by singing the lyrics to a favourite tune.

Constant judgements mean that we are not accepting what is, which creates conflict and  creates mental turmoil.

Sack the Judge and treat yourself a to a mental holiday. Discover more peace and positivity when you retrain your brain with my positive thinking book and audio.

Enjoy!

 

 

Posted on Leave a comment

How Do You Like Your Love?

Are you lucky in love? Do you feel loving and loved?How Do You Like Your Love? - The Stresshacker / Sue Smith

Sometimes when we lose confidence we  shut down in areas of the body to protect ourselves. Many a person who has been hurt in a relationship will unconsciously create an invisible barrier around their heart to protect themselves from being hurt again.

Later they feel frustrated because they can’t find a loving relationship. It’s confidence that’s needed, the confidence to love the self first, before being able to open up again to someone new.

Love and compassion begin at home.

How Do You Like Your Love? - The Stresshacker / Sue SmithWhen you love yourself fully and freely it’s easier to love others boundlessly. So fill your cup, practise better self-love and nurturing now.  Be kind and gentle to yourself and treat yourself with the love and respect you would afford another.

Here’s an exercise that will start the process and help you to open your heart.

Take a moment to think about someone you love… it’s OK if that’s your dog or cat!  Think about what you would say to them if this were your last opportunity to let them know how much they mean to you.  If you can’t think of anyone you love. Imagine how it would feel to really love someone. Imagine a flow of warmth circulating around your chest and flowing out to that someone special.

Come on do it now … just see how it feels to write down exactly what you would say, express your love as openly and honestly as you can without restriction. Remember write don’t type, it’s an entirely different and more positive experience when we put pen to paper.

Turn it around now and pretend someone has sent this letter to you, read it out-loud to yourself seven times. Really anchor these sentiments.

What we say to ourselves becomes true for ourselves. It’s true and that’s because the bigger part of your mind (the other 90%) absolutely believes what it’s told. That is such a valuable piece of information I have to repeat it. YOUR UNCONSCIOUS MIND BELIEVES WHATEVER IT IS TOLD!

Affirmations work! Really they do, but don’t take my word for it practice them yourself and see the results… try the following

“I am open and receptive to a warm loving, respectful relationship”

“I attract a positive loving man/woman into my life”

“All my relationships are harmonious”

The more resistance you feel to saying affirmations the more likely you are to need them and do you know something? It really doesn’t matter whether you believe them or not because your unconscious mind does.

Once upon a time you didn’t know that 2 + 2 = 4 you repeated it often enough to know that it was true. You also didn’t know your alphabet until you practiced it over and over. If you’re good at reading, it’s because you read a lot! Repetition is the mother of all skill.

Affirmations work!

… “My heart is open and receptive to love and happiness” go on try saying it a few times; notice how it makes you feel. Good Right!

According to author Professor Richard Wiseman in his best selling book The Luck Factor you make your own luck.

Set about making your own luck by building the confidence and self-belief you need to find love. Take the short cut to building self esteem by listening to my Super Charge Your Confidence program and then top it up by reading my popular eBook Super Charge Your Confidence. Seven Simple Steps To Boost Your Confidence Self Esteem and Control

If you’re struggling to find love and feel blocked or numb around your heart area, practice these two yoga stretches on daily basis.

Yoga Technique 1: The Windmill

Stand with feet hip width apart soften the knees raise your arms out to the side at shoulder level and keep them there.  Keep your hips facing forwards and turn your trunk and arms to the left, keeping your arms straight and at shoulder height, fix your gaze on the fingers of the back hand. Turn back to the centre and repeat to the right. Keep your gaze fixed on the fingers of the back-hand. Repeat 10 times. Stop if you feel dizzy

Yoga Technique 2: The Chest Opener

Stand with feet hip width apart and bring your arms behind your back and clasp hands together. Draw your shoulder blades together and imagine you could slide them down your back toward the floor, now lift and lengthen up through the front of the body and take a gentle stretch backwards sending hands and arms toward the floor but keep them in touch with the back body. DO NOT take your head back unless you are certain that you have no problems with your neck.

Posted on Leave a comment

THE WAKE UP CALL

Are you ready for a change of scene?

Had enough of your current job?

Feeling Burnt Out?

The Wake Up Call

 If you feel like you can’t continue in your current existence, you are not alone. Every year thousands of people reach a point where they can no longer continue working in the same way, with the same people or in the same job or industry.

You just wake up one morning and know that it’s time for a change.

I was in my mid-twenties when I reached that point. I had come to hate my job, the industry and I didn’t like most of the people I worked with either.

I felt trapped by the money,  I had a mortgage from the age of 22 and the notion of walking away from a well paid job seemed totally reckless.

I was run down, stressed and miserable and as a result became pretty unwell. After the third spell in hospital, I recognised this as a massive nudge from somewhere deep inside, to wake me up, shake me up and take responsibility for changing my life. I realised I was waiting! Waiting for something to happen. Waiting for someone else to make my life different.

This was at the start of the self-help movement and I read hundreds of books to help me find the confidence and methods to make those changes.  I developed a habit of getting clear about exactly what I wanted and then applying certain steps to make sure I got it.  I’ve retrained in a number of different fields, Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy, Yoga, Reiki. I’ve become an author, a blogger and a jazz singer. I’ve since spent the best part of twenty-eight years helping  thousands of  people to redefine themselves, to follow their hearts and launch new careers. You can do it.

Want to know how? Here are my starting steps when I want to make change.

Firstly create some space where you can be still and quiet and ask yourself the following questions.

  1. What one thing am I really good at? What one thing do I seem to do naturally well?

Now ignore the voice that throws up the negatives and keep asking yourself  that same question until you get some good answers.

I remember thinking defeatedly ‘I’m not really good at anything, there’s no area in which I excel.’ But I stuck at it and eventually a little voice said “You’re good at talking to people” It was true, I could stand at a bus stop and a total stranger would tell me their entire life story, then get on the bus and say “Do you know I’ve never told anyone that!” Eureka. That was it… the only thing I could come up with!

Yet that simple answer started a whole new career  for me which I still love and enjoy with every cell in my body.

When you’ve come up with a couple of answers write them down, stick them on the back burner.  The process is starting.

   2.  If I didn’t have to worry about what anyone else thinks. If I didn’t have to worry about money or how I would pay my bills. What would I do for work?

Again, ignore all the negative, whiney head trash that wants to bring you down. That’s your ego battling for position! Write down the stream of positives that come to mind, such as … “I’d work with animals, I’d travel the world, or I’d be a yoga teacher”  Now put those ideas into the pot on the back burner.

In a few days some ideas will begin to brew. Watch out for them and write them down.

When you get some idea, some direction that doesn’t contain a negative, you’re ready for the next step.

3. Just suppose (imagine) you were going to do that thing… the idea that you thought of, how would you go about it? What would be your first step of enquiry? Can you google some information?

Can you find someone who’s doing what you’d like to do or has what it is you would like to have? 

If so call or email them and ask if you can buy them, a coffee or lunch, explain that you would like to ask them some questions about their work. Be honest and transparent. Naturally some people will say no, but many are flattered be asked and want to help.

First gather this information. Gradually all the ideas, information and knowledge come together and you will  feel excited. This is your cue.  If it’s a feeling in your heart GO FOR IT!

Find a way to make this happen. Go back to learning, take that course in your spare time, negotiate taking some time out of the workplace. Do what you have to do to kick-start your new career. When it’s something you feel passionate about, trust me, it will not feel like work. You will  be happy to be up to the early hours of the morning writing your plans, or studying, because you know that you are working toward something really meaningful to you. Something heartfelt and positive.

When you live, breathe and talk about your dreams you bring a powerful energy to it that will attract a similar resonance. If it’s your dharma (your calling) doors of opportunity will open for you, you will be wafted along pathways that will support your calling. You will meet the right people at the right time who will share similar dreams and values.

DO NOT share your dreams with people who criticise, judge and search out the negatives in your plans. Why would you. You need to believe in yourself and your dreams.

If you need additional inspiration or support to get you over your fears about making change, grab your copy of my book Super Charge Your Confidence and the accompanying download of the same name from my shop.

Let me know how you get on.

Posted on Leave a comment

5 Quirky Ways To Beat Performance Anxiety

When I decided to pursue a childhood dream of singing and went along to my first performers evening, I was mortified when I got up to sing. As I opened my mouth I heard a weird strangled sound more reminiscent of an injured animal! My diaphragm locked up like a tight fist and my lips wriggled around independently like a pair of worms! The rest of my performance that evening is thankfully a fuzzy haze!
I had the classic Fight, Flight or Freeze symptoms one might experience in the face of eminent disaster such as being attacked or having a near miss in a car.

Performance Anxiety
Performance Anxiety

Singing was something I wanted to do, so I decided I was not going to be beaten by this poor experience. Using my training and experience as psychotherapist and hypnotherapist I applied to myself, all the techniques and practices I might offer a client experiencing performance anxiety.

I liken public performance to standing naked in front of a group of people! You really are exposing your most vulnerable self. This means your self-esteem is very much linked to your performance. Trouble is, if your good sense of self is totally dependent on others having to like you or think well of you, then you’re even more vulnerable because that’s is something you have no control over.

Continue reading 5 Quirky Ways To Beat Performance Anxiety

Posted on Leave a comment

Are You Fat Focused?

Do you obsess about food?
file2791247193219

Are you constantly on and off of the scales?

Do you worry about sticking to a diet?

Are you always counting calories?

If you don’t care about being overweight then fine, don’t read on but if you’re constantly striving to lose weight only to put it back on, or are stuck in the yo-yo pattern of dieting you might want to try a new approach.

The majority of people with weight problems tend to be consumed by thoughts of what, when and how they will eat or drink. Constant worrying about food and focusing on feeling fat are your worst enemies in the pursuit of losing weight.

I know that the easiest way to lose weight and keep it off is to change your mind-set. Here are 3 ways you can do it

  1. Update Your Mental Software.
  2. Throw Away Your Scales.
  3. Reprogram Your Mind using language it understands.

Change your mind and keep the change

 Discover the best way to finally dump your negative thoughts and feelings. Upgrade your mindset and rebuild your self-esteem with my Mindful Weight Loss approach.

1. Update Your Mental Software

Are you interested in the quickest way to do this? Hypnosis. Reprogram your mind, by-pass the negative inner chatter and input positive thoughts that will change the way you feel. 21 days of consistent listening to positive, upbeat suggestions of self-love will have you automatically making better choices. You will find everything easier when you feel positive and confident.

The biggest part of your mind, the subconscious mind believes whatever it is told. What are you telling yourself about your size, weight, or the way you look?

2. Throw Away Your Scales.file0001481171194

Hopping on and off of scales create a hopeless addiction, get rid of them, they’re work of the devil! They lie too! Have you ever jumped on your scales and felt your heart soar because you’d shed a little weight? Only to get on your friend’s scales (because you couldn’t resist) to find you’d gained some weight?

Scales encourage negative thinking that will quickly spiral you down into feeling out of control, this is my opinion based on 28 years of facilitating weight loss with thousands of people.

Stop kidding yourself. You WILL KNOW WHEN YOU’VE LOST WEIGHT when your trousers feel loose or more comfortable, or when you no longer need to loosen your belt whilst eating. Resist the temptation to  buy  clothes in bigger sizes and work your way back into the wardrobe you have, by being kind, encouraging and loving to yourself. I go into the psychology of this more in the course.

3. Picture The Best You

Picture The Best You… develop the habit of putting yourself into a gentle state of relaxation (yes, this can be done on the train on your way to work, or just as you drift off to sleep) once relaxed; create pictures of you in your minds eye being the best version of you. Imagine yourself feeling, fit, flexible and strong. If you’re visual (I’m not so I just get on and imagine) visualize yourself doing and being who you are when you are what makes you feel the best. For example, see you looking very much in control, relaxed, confident, peaceful, in love with and loving yourself. See yourself sufficiently confident to make better choices. Encourage yourself to exercise by persistently picturing yourself swimming, walking or taking a class in the gym.

Your subconscious mind believes whatever you tell it… what are you telling it?

More importantly the language of the biggest part of your mind (the subconscious) is imagery, so it prefers to receive positive images. Don’t take my word for it, try it yourself regularly.

Don’t be shy, take advantage of the Ask Sue facility here on the website and ask me any questions you have about losing weight.

If you’ve any questions about my Mindful Weight Loss course ask away! The course is unique and I created it more with the idea of helping people to become happier and more at peace with themselves with the weight loss being more a by- product of that. There is no dieting involved in this course, although you do need to want to lose weight and be prepared to make a commitment to doing so.

So if you know someone who would find this useful please pass it onto them.

 

 

 

 

Posted on Leave a comment

28 Ways To Be On Top!

28 ways to be on top

How can you reach your destination if you haven’t got a map?

Do you know how to stay in adult mode?

Can you recognise the qualities and behaviours that belong to the adult part of you?

Are you becoming more adept at recognising your inner child’s behaviours and thoughts?

Can you identify when you’re in critical parent mode and use your map to snap out of it?

Add this list to your adult part and enjoy the process of growing up.

  1. Speak your truth
  2. Know yourself
  3. Nurture yourself
  4. Learn to be assertive
  5. Eat well.
  6. Have plenty of rest
  7. Exercise regularly
  8. Spend time with people who make you laugh
  9. Remember that variety is the spice of life
  10. Improve your confidence and self-esteem
  11. Become more congruent shed the ‘roles’ that make you feel a phoney
  12. If you lack it, develop integrity
  13. Be honest and truthful with yourself and others
  14. Spend time alone
  15. Do what you love to do
  16. Act as if you’re brave until you feel brave
  17. Explore and try something different a food, exercise, or hobby
  18. Say daily positive affirmations.
  19. Try journaling every day.
  20. Dump your grievances by writing therapy letters to those who have hurt you. (DON’T send them, tear them up after… it works!)
  21. Develop an attitude of gratitude write 3 things two or three times a week that you’re grateful for.
  22. Practice loving. Imagine you’re falling in love with yourself
  23. Be kind and forgiving to yourself
  24. Remind yourself it’s okay to say No
  25. Set goals for the experiences you want to have
  26. Upgrade your programs with hypnotherapy
  27. Be kind and gentle with your inner child
  28. Be firm and boundaried with your inner parent. (Don’t let it take over!)

Enjoy and let me have your feedback!

Posted on Leave a comment

SHUT THE F*@/ UP!

Years ago I did some additional NLP training with Dr Richard Bandler one of the two originators of Neuron-Linguistic-Programming or as I like to think of it Positive Psychology.

Among other things NLP looks at ‘Modelling on Excellence’ so when we find something that we want to do well, or to have, the aim is to “model on’ or copy the behaviour or steps that allowed others to achieve that outcome, with the expectation that we will achieve similar results.

So what’s this got to do with my headline?

Finding out what naturally happy people do to feel happy helps others to model on that behaviour

smiling-kids-facesPeople who are happier in life tend to be self-nurturing, kind and loving to themselves. They have learned to live with and accept their limitations, which doesn’t mean they don’t strive for things or have goals, more that they have reached a place of self-acceptance.

Happier people have also learned how to quieten the negative chatter in their minds.

How often are you aware of that nagging voice in the background of your awareness? That demanding, negative part that criticises what you’re doing or how you’re doing it?

People give this part many names from the devil, the ego, to the parent part. However you choose to label your ‘gremlin’ is your business. But do you know how to stop it from droning on and eroding your efforts to feel okay about yourself?file000727125552

There are loads of clever therapeutic interventions for quietening this unhelpful inner voice, but for a quick fix, try Bandler’s advice who told us in training “Tell it to Shut the F**! Up! I did! It did! It does work!

Don’t take my word for it, try it yourself.

I’ll be honest and say I prefer the words ‘That’s enough! Be Quiet Now” Which I find works just as well. Choose your own wording, but next time you’re having a bad day and your parent part or inner critic is giving you a rough ride, you might want to try this until you close it down.

As you become aware of the negative chatter, mentally and silently shout Shut The F**! Up several times. Follow this up with several days of ‘reprogramming’ by listening to something like Super Charge Your Confidence, my hypnosis program that helps build self-esteem and notice just how quickly your adult part bounces back into control.

Enjoy and let me know how you get on.