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Do you disapprove of anyone? What that person might tell you about yourself

Pointing Finger of Judgement
When Louisa was younger she used to love people watching with her sister when they were in the car.

They would take it in turns to pick out a stranger who they would criticise for something, each trying to out-do the other for insults.

But as she grew older, Louisa began to feel uncomfortable indulging in what had once felt like a harmless bit of fun (after all, the strangers couldn’t hear them and Louisa and her sister were just two bored teenagers trying to pass the time). Years later, Louisa would recognise that a lot of her discomfort stemmed not just from the meanness against the innocent stranger, but also because of what it told her about herself and her attitudes.

What our judgements say about us

If you can be unkind about a stranger, how mean are you to yourself? And if you spend all of your time criticising how your friends choose to do things, how harshly do you criticise your own behaviour?

If you know you are a judgemental person, have you ever stopped to consider what the things you choose to judge say about you? When we point the finger of blame or judgment at another, chances are there will be three fingers pointing back at ourselves. We really levy a much heavier burden of judgment upon ourselves when we judge others.

In life we tend to attract mirrors of ourselves, in our partners, friends and colleagues. So if there is something about another person that you like or dislike, love or hate, ask yourself, is this really something I dislike in myself?

In fact, if you can think of the thing that you find most abhorrent and obnoxious, something that you think in a million years you couldn’t do – be very careful, because you almost certainly house some aspect of that yourself deep within your psyche!

So the next time your inner Judge starts pointing, be easy on yourself and curl those fingers into a yoga mudra (gesture). Bring your thumb and index finger together and slowly repeat the words ‘I am peace, you are peace, there is peace’.

See how you get on and let me know!

[Image: PnP]

 

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JUST A MOMENT…

JUST A MOMENT

Isn’t that what life is? Just a moment or should I say a series of moments. It’s true. If you really think about it, five minutes time, tomorrow or next week hasn’t happened yet and two minutes ago, yesterday or ten years ago is the past. So the only bit that’s real is now! Enjoy it!

Looking back and realizing what a great evening that was or anticipating the enjoyment of a forthcoming holiday is something we all do. Whilst it’s pleasant to reflect on the past and future, we may be in danger of actually missing out on the moment, the here and now, the present.

If you’re one of my yoga students you’ll know that I’m always directing your awareness to the presence of the ego mind. This is the part of the mind that is in charge of filtering. It sifts and sorts, categorizes and labels and is an essential part of our thinking. Without it we would all be bonkers!

Although an essential part of the mind, the ego can take over, acting as if it’s the only ‘mind’. It can gather steam with its labeling, comparing, judgments and criticism and before long it’s the only part of our inner dialogue that we hear.

If your ego mind is very busy and loud it will drown out deeper intuitive thoughts from your Self. These thoughts could be considered as natural perceptive ‘gut instincts. They have just as much, if not more value. They wish to serve you in the pursuit of being the ‘best’ you. They may for example alert you to a health issue that you are not paying attention to, this pushes you to take the necessary action that could be preventative.

Think of it like tuning a radio. If you only ever listen to Radio 1, how do you know that radio 4 exists, with all its amazing programs and information?

How do we access this deeper intuition you might ask? By being present is the answer.

Being here now equals less stress. If we want to enjoy life more and feel less pressured we need to make a conscious effort to be in the moment. Being present requires being ‘psychologically awake’ and more conscious.

Here’s How.

Take a moment to notice what you can see right now around you. Now notice every single sound near and far. Next observe what you can feel… hungry, happy, and irritable, the fabric of your clothing, the air in your nostrils, the wind on your face and so on.

Practice this as often as possible so that you become the observer… the watcher… the listener… then you may wonder ‘who am I’?

Enjoy the Easter break I wish you lots of light, love and peaceful presence.

 

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1 Surprisingly Simple Mind Hack

Subconscious mind

According to quantum physics the brain processes 400 billion bits of information per second. Apparently we are only consciously aware of 2,000 of these, which are processed and filtered at a conscious level.

When someone recently said to me “I don’t know how you can sit and  listen to people’s problems day in and day out” I was ferocious in defence that my work isn’t like that at all! To the contrary, I explained it’s positively joyous!  I help people to establish what they want to change, get rid of, or improve in their lives I then facilitate that change. As a result it is the most privileged,  rewarding work, that I liken to watching a flower grow.

So when a friend asked me to help her I jumped at the opportunity. She was bored with her job as a civil servant. To counter the boredom over the years, she had retrained in a number of different skills and was extremely well qualified to make a shift and change her career. There was one problem, she was scared! She lacked the confidence and belief in herself  to take the leap of faith required.

We did a small piece of work and the next thing my friend had handed in her notice and moved on.  A year down the line she feels fulfilled in her new career, has met lots of people and made many new friendships. I didn’t really do anything. She did it all, by allowing her subconscious mind to create a perfect solution, in a way that only she could know and understand, a solution that resonated elegantly with every part of her on every level. Continue reading 1 Surprisingly Simple Mind Hack

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How X Rated Are Your Thoughts?

You know that saying “You are what you eat”  it’s the same for your mind, you get out of it what you put into it.

Along with every other thought that you process daily, your early programming also filters to the surface of the mind from time to time and some might say there’s not a lot that can be done about that.  Not me though, I know it’s possible to swamp early negative messages with positive programming. That’s what hypnotherapy has practiced for years and science now calls neuroplasticity!

Don't watch things you wouldn't want a child to see.
Don’t watch things you wouldn’t want a child to see.

If you doubt that the mind is adversely affected by what you watch, ask yourself if you would allow a child to watch it if the answer is no, why do that to yourself?

Same goes for your reading material. If you would like a quieter mind and a deeper sense of peace in your life, be discerning about what you put into your mind. Your senses are there as filters. The more rubbish you watch the more desensitised you become to it!

Continue reading How X Rated Are Your Thoughts?

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SHUT THE F*@/ UP!

Years ago I did some additional NLP training with Dr Richard Bandler one of the two originators of Neuron-Linguistic-Programming or as I like to think of it Positive Psychology.

Among other things NLP looks at ‘Modelling on Excellence’ so when we find something that we want to do well, or to have, the aim is to “model on’ or copy the behaviour or steps that allowed others to achieve that outcome, with the expectation that we will achieve similar results.

So what’s this got to do with my headline?

Finding out what naturally happy people do to feel happy helps others to model on that behaviour

smiling-kids-facesPeople who are happier in life tend to be self-nurturing, kind and loving to themselves. They have learned to live with and accept their limitations, which doesn’t mean they don’t strive for things or have goals, more that they have reached a place of self-acceptance.

Happier people have also learned how to quieten the negative chatter in their minds.

How often are you aware of that nagging voice in the background of your awareness? That demanding, negative part that criticises what you’re doing or how you’re doing it?

People give this part many names from the devil, the ego, to the parent part. However you choose to label your ‘gremlin’ is your business. But do you know how to stop it from droning on and eroding your efforts to feel okay about yourself?file000727125552

There are loads of clever therapeutic interventions for quietening this unhelpful inner voice, but for a quick fix, try Bandler’s advice who told us in training “Tell it to Shut the F**! Up! I did! It did! It does work!

Don’t take my word for it, try it yourself.

I’ll be honest and say I prefer the words ‘That’s enough! Be Quiet Now” Which I find works just as well. Choose your own wording, but next time you’re having a bad day and your parent part or inner critic is giving you a rough ride, you might want to try this until you close it down.

As you become aware of the negative chatter, mentally and silently shout Shut The F**! Up several times. Follow this up with several days of ‘reprogramming’ by listening to something like Super Charge Your Confidence, my hypnosis program that helps build self-esteem and notice just how quickly your adult part bounces back into control.

Enjoy and let me know how you get on.