Do you have good self-esteem? And what does good self-esteem really *mean* anyway?
I suppose the best way to describe someone with good self-esteem is that they are comfortable with themselves. Are you comfortable in your own skin? What would it take for you to feel comfortable inside and out?
Self-esteem can grow when we begin to have a better relationship with ourselves, when we start loving ourselves for who we really are, despite having made mistakes in life.
What’s the key to good self-esteem?
I would like to plant a seed of truth. So far, you have always done the best you could in life with what you’ve had. If you could have done better at the time, I guess you would have done.
Good self-esteem means having a good opinion of yourself. Crucially, that good opinion of yourself is totally independent of the good opinion of others.
Even if our family, peers and friends don’t approve of our decisions, choices or lifestyles, it doesn’t matter. As long as we are happy with our choices and living true to ourselves, we will be okay.
You wake up with yourself before you wake up with anyone else, if you don’t like what you see in the mirror – no-one else can. We teach others how to treat us. If we don’t treat ourselves with love and respect how can we seriously expect anyone else to?
Boost your self-esteem
Now grab a pen and paper and answer this question with as many answers as possible: What can I do to improve my self-esteem?
Here are some examples to start you off.
- Remove myself from the people who are disrespecting me or who are having a detrimental effect on my wellbeing.
- Do things that I enjoy. (Make a list of things that make you feel good and make sure you do one each day)
- Listen to a personal development/hypnosis program that will boost my self-esteem rapidly
- Gravitate toward people who are fun, positive and interesting
- Challenge myself to do something new (like join a choir, dance class or start kick boxing)!
I explore this issue of self-esteem more in my book ‘I Just Want To Be Happy’ there are many great exercises for change.
One simple yet, powerful exercise from the book that really boosts self esteem is to write an exhaustive list of all your achievements.
Try it now. Write down everything – right back to your first swimming certificate, the first meal you cooked, learning to drive, getting that job. Whatever it is write it down. It’s such great reading when you have listed everything. You really will feel good about all you’ve achieved!
Most importantly be kind and gentle with yourself! Look at your list of achievements and your list of things you can do to improve your self-esteem. Do one thing everyday that will help you like who you are.