When Louisa was younger she used to love people watching with her sister when they were in the car.
They would take it in turns to pick out a stranger who they would criticise for something, each trying to out-do the other for insults.
But as she grew older, Louisa began to feel uncomfortable indulging in what had once felt like a harmless bit of fun (after all, the strangers couldn’t hear them and Louisa and her sister were just two bored teenagers trying to pass the time). Years later, Louisa would recognise that a lot of her discomfort stemmed not just from the meanness against the innocent stranger, but also because of what it told her about herself and her attitudes.
What our judgements say about us
If you can be unkind about a stranger, how mean are you to yourself? And if you spend all of your time criticising how your friends choose to do things, how harshly do you criticise your own behaviour?
If you know you are a judgemental person, have you ever stopped to consider what the things you choose to judge say about you? When we point the finger of blame or judgment at another, chances are there will be three fingers pointing back at ourselves. We really levy a much heavier burden of judgment upon ourselves when we judge others.
In life we tend to attract mirrors of ourselves, in our partners, friends and colleagues. So if there is something about another person that you like or dislike, love or hate, ask yourself, is this really something I dislike in myself?
In fact, if you can think of the thing that you find most abhorrent and obnoxious, something that you think in a million years you couldn’t do – be very careful, because you almost certainly house some aspect of that yourself deep within your psyche!
So the next time your inner Judge starts pointing, be easy on yourself and curl those fingers into a yoga mudra (gesture). Bring your thumb and index finger together and slowly repeat the words ‘I am peace, you are peace, there is peace’.
See how you get on and let me know!